Would you date a smoker now that you vape?

[Douggro]

I never said happiness was needed to survive. I said our beliefs/opinions aren't required to achieve happiness or survival. IMO, happiness is secondary to survival (sort of a first world problem) but is still something we all seek endlessly.

Ahh, a finer read on my part now has your point. In my haste of reading it the first time, I drew the link of happiness and survival being essential elements of living. 'Tis clear now. And there's nothing in your statement & position that I disagree with at all. Well put and stated.

 

[Racehorse]

I don't really relate to "exclusionary" social politics.

MOST people seem to me to be pretty okay, trying to do their best for their families, their children, their employers, and their communities and also seem to want to do what's right if they can figure out what that is. Most people seem helpful and in situations we have seen where tragedy strikes, there are many who "step up" and we have seen this all over the world.

I think there is a % of people who do not fit that description, but I think they are in a minority.

I just have no desire to make my world smaller by keeping people "at bay" or assuming that most people are bad, lazy, greedy, or all kinds of other things.

For the most part, every day life seems to go along in a relatively civilized and friendly manner. I am friends with politicans (all sides) , bikers, animal rescuers, corporate workers, party people, embalmers, carpenters, farmers, homesteaders, musicians, vapers, smokers, athiests, uber-religious people, store clerks, gay people, straight people, restaurant workers, physicists, professors, writers, artists, weavers................they are all individuals. I let them show me who they are and usually it's pretty *okay*.

It's a big planet, in some ways a small planet, and we all have to live together. Best to look for what we have in common?


As for the happiness philosophy, I never saw happiness as a "goal". Seems more like an "outcome", and then, not a steady always-on one at that, although contentment seems possible.

 

[EvilZoe]

I'm fairly certain that as much as we think we know how we'll react should the situation arise, if we met THAT CERTAIN PERSON it would all change, "THAT CERTAIN PERSON" being the one who makes you change things just so you can be around them. This is not necessarily "THE ONE" but it can be. It just needs to be the one that rocks your world for that moment.

 

[Douggro]

I don't really relate to "exclusionary" social politics.

MOST people seem to me to be pretty okay, trying to do their best for their families, their children, their employers, and their communities and also seem to want to do what's right if they can figure out what that is. Most people seem helpful and in situations we have seen where tragedy strikes, there are many who "step up" and we have seen this all over the world.

I think there is a % of people who do not fit that description, but I think they are in a minority.

I just have no desire to make my world smaller by keeping people "at bay" or assuming that most people are bad, lazy, greedy, or all kinds of other things.

For the most part, every day life seems to go along in a relatively civilized and friendly manner. I am friends with politicans (all sides) , bikers, animal rescuers, corporate workers, party people, embalmers, carpenters, farmers, homesteaders, musicians, vapers, smokers, athiests, uber-religious people, store clerks, gay people, straight people, restaurant workers, physicists, professors, writers, artists, weavers................they are all individuals. I let them show me who they are and usually it's pretty *okay*.

It's a big planet, in some ways a small planet, and we all have to live together. Best to look for what we have in common?


As for the happiness philosophy, I never saw happiness as a "goal". Seems more like an "outcome", and then, not a steady always-on one at that, although contentment seems possible.

Very well put. Thank you. I have to fight off my inclination to wax philosophical though in responding and try to stay on-topic..

 

[AndriaD]

I'm fairly certain that as much as we think we know how we'll react should the situation arise, if we met THAT CERTAIN PERSON it would all change, "THAT CERTAIN PERSON" being the one who makes you change things just so you can be around them. This is not necessarily "THE ONE" but it can be. It just needs to be the one that rocks your world for that moment.

Probably true; I'm just glad I found my "ONE" 29 yrs ago, and he's a non-smoker, AND he even put up with my smoking for 27 yrs, *mostly* without complaint. And since I've quit subjecting him to 2nd hand smoke, even HIS sense of smell has improved!

Andria

 

[EvilZoe]

Probably true; I'm just glad I found my "ONE" 29 yrs ago, and he's a non-smoker, AND he even put up with my smoking for 27 yrs, *mostly* without complaint. And since I've quit subjecting him to 2nd hand smoke, even HIS sense of smell has improved!

Andria

I'm afraid to date at all the past few years. Historically, my choices in partners have fallen FAR short of optimal....lol

 

[David Wolf]

Just wondering, even though I smoked cigs for 23 years, I don't see myself dating someone who smokes cigs unless they are willing to switch to vaping. I really can't stand the smell of smoke anymore and now I can smell it intensely from my co-workers who still smoke and brother in law.

My wife just said "No you can't date a smoker, or anyone else." She's a hard woman, I should have realized that when she refused to let me take a date to our wedding. Sigh.

 

[Rossum]

My wife just said "No you can't date a smoker, or anyone else." She's a hard woman, I should have realized that when she refused to let me take a date to our wedding. Sigh.

Well there's your first mistake -- you asked your wife for *permission*.

 

[Pleski]

I don't mind being around people smoking as long as it doesn't smell to much. I'd never want to become like those anti smoking Nazis.

 

[Phillip Phill P Parson]

Yea then i convert her over to he vape side

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[DeAnna2112]

No matter who we end up with there is always going to be things about the other person that is annoying, irritating and the opposite of ourselves. I think we all have this vision or check off list in our head on who the right person for us is, but when love at first sight happens it just happens IMO regardless of how opposite the other person is on some things. Love conquers all obstacles and clears a path some how some way when two people who were meant to be together cross paths.

So my answer is love will decide who i end up with regardless if they are a smoker or not

 

[AndriaD]

Love conquers all obstacles

Not necessarily. You can love someone, and not like them at all, as I've always received from my own mother, who really doesn't like a single thing about me. And my 1st husband; we came from such different backgrounds, were taught such different values, that while we loved one another, we did not really like one another much at all, at least, not enough to live together day to day. Love is probably the most valuable emotion we can ever feel, but it's not a panacea; liking and tolerating someone is a great deal more necessary for a happy marriage.

Andria

 

[sig-cmt]

...I don't see myself dating someone who smokes cigs...

"...if she smokes, she pokes." - Lois Griffin

 

[aki917]

Yes. I've been vaping for a year and my wife started to smoke a cigarette now and then. I've ask her if she wanted to try vaping but she said no and I'm fine with her choice. Even if I was single I don't think that would matter if some one smokes or not.

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[cj081283]

It wouldn't really matter to me but I'm already married. Me and my wife uses to both smoke cigarettes but she quit cold turkey a few months before I did. After she had quit for a few months she had gotten a cheap ego vape from the local store and I was using a cigalike that I quit with so I needed to use the vape to quit.

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[Tommy-Chi]

so would you want to date or enter into a relationship with someone who has a very different lifestyle, values or beliefs than you do?

More than once, I've done both, dated someone with similar beliefs and lifestyle, and someone who did not. The success or failure of the better of the relationships did not necessarily end on agreement of these attributes, but there has to be respect. If there is no respect and you do not care abt the other person and let them know it...all bets are off.

 

[Tommy-Chi]

Before I decide whether to "date" someone we talk quite a bit. We might do lunch, dinner, maybe a movie, maybe go for a walk, or out to a sporting event. Dating to me means there is more too "it" than just an acquaintance or hanging out with someone you know. I'd never cut off a person for smoking or vaping, but I have my limits. If I want a life with you, you have to be pretty safe around me.

Once I was dating a woman, and I'd given her a "friendship ring" and we talked about it. The next ring would be the engagement ring, and that was coming up pretty fast, like six months or so. In any case, her family was loaded. I didn't give a rats ... but she thought she was a serious catch. We had been dating for two years very seriously, but the friends she chose to make, made things impossible.

She smoked (leafy green not hard core illegal materials on Schedule I) all day long, and ingested (really hard trippy silvery illegal materials on Schedule I) several times, and wanted to do tons more. The latter really ticked me off. I told her, we would not get engaged if she kept going down the path she was on, and I eventually ended up putting her out on the highway near her home b/c she was dead set on being absolutely numb to the world.

I went off to college, and a decade later located her on LinkedIn, and what do you know, she eventually went to college and cleaned up her act. This I assume, b/c there is no doubt she would have been in a world of hurt had she not changed her lifestyle.

 

[Stinkytofus]

Depends on measurements... Then it depends on if she can be converted to a vaper lol

 

[p0rnst4r]

Sure I would. [ been there before...so who's to judge. ]
but will also try my best to convert her to vaping.

 

[HauntedMyst]

Not necessarily. You can love someone, and not like them at all, as I've always received from my own mother, who really doesn't like a single thing about me. And my 1st husband; we came from such different backgrounds, were taught such different values, that while we loved one another, we did not really like one another much at all, at least, not enough to live together day to day. Love is probably the most valuable emotion we can ever feel, but it's not a panacea; liking and tolerating someone is a great deal more necessary for a happy marriage.

I agree with everything you've said except the Love being the most valuable emotion. I think the emotion of love is thrilling, fresh, full of joy, exciting, unnerving, unpredictable and etc. When I think of Love, I think it is the most valuable action we can take. Love the emotion is fleeting and uneven but love the action is enduring, powerful and memorable. Love in action is what make us at our greatest. Whether or not you are a person of faith, you have to admit that"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. " is one of the best descriptives of love in action. Love in action is what helps us to love the unlovable and suffer the insufferable. It's what raises us up as human beings.