I just want to say how much I love and appreciate this forum and everyone on it, even though I'm new around here. I don't get on every day, my life is pretty time-challenged right now, but when I do, and get to go through the catching-up process, it always makes me smile and lifts my spirits more than I can express. I had to laugh out loud, as an example of how active y'all are, at how WAY behind my post about fountain pens was by the time I saw it and replied. You folks have spun the earth a few times with your raw energy if I blink!
I don't know (yet) how to post music links on a forum, because I'm sort of a forum newb, so for now I just get to enjoy YOUR skills and listen to the awesome tunes you folks put up here. On almost every one of them, I want to post a separate message to say "WOW! YEAH! LOVE THAT!" So, just consider it done even though I'm too slow to keep up
I'm starting to figure out some of the life stories going on with each of you, and I'm grateful that this is a place where friends get to share with each other and hang out and be appreciated. It's really an honor to be allowed into each others' lives, and I am grateful for and respectful of that. I haven't gotten all the names associated yet, but I'll learn. Right now, I'm completely off the cigarettes and completely onto
vaping, but it has only been 2 months about, so I like being here. It's comforting, because if I decide to have a cigarette sometime, I know I'm safe. It's weird. I've had some severely stressful family things going on lately, and the thought of having a cigarette has crossed my mind more than once ... but since I don't have any around the house, and since I'm broke, I just go on a chain-vape frenzy and get through it.
Since the folks that have been here awhile are already old buddies and pretty much know what's going on with each other, allow me to introduce myself just a little, hoping that I don't bore anyone or give TMI. But my history is what makes me feel so at home here, and so empathetic with some of what you folks talk about.
I'm 58 yrs old and living with and taking care of my 86-yr-old mother. It's a difficult relationship at times, but I'm her only child, she's triple-disabled (can't walk without assist, can barely hear, has severe neuropathy that has destroyed her vestibular system so she has no balance and easily falls, and has no sensation in her hands and feet), and here I am. She and my dad were separated for many decades, and when Dad got sick about 15 yrs ago I moved to California from Georgia to be with him and take care of him. I did that for about 7 yrs till he died, bless his heart.
Throughout, I had a pretty great career in criminal justice then ended up in IT, from the Dept of Justice to the federal courts. Was making really great money. Then came massive layoffs and job title terminations -- mostly from the highest-paying positions. Couldn't replace the money I had been making, but did do a management analyst job for a regional fire authority for a couple of years, making pretty good money. Then that ended, and by then I was taking care of Mom. Trying to replace my income again, I ended up being a certified personal fitness trainer, part-time. This was in southern California, where the job market is filled with young, strong recent graduates who are favorite hires, and my experience in my career field was getting rusty.
Meanwhile my two grown sons were both in North Carolina, which is where I went to college, and I already loved the south, so I thought what the heck am I doing sticking around in southern California, "Mom, let's gather up our stuff and MOVE!" So we did. I figured I could get a job in NC easier than in CA.
Oh .. backtrack, over the years, married and divorced more than once -- there are some hella stories there but another time - reasons why at one point I was a licensed private investigator and worked as a bodyguard for awhile. I had been in some baaaad situations, wanted to be able to help others in similar situations, so got the training to do it.
Anyway mom promptly fell and broke her hip shortly after we arrived in NC, needing more care. Meanwhile we were short of money and I needed to work but couldn't leave her home alone, and we had used all funds to make the move. Then my oldest son, who had been working for a major computer company here in NC, was diagnosed as a schizophrenic, went on long-term leave, had to be hospitalized. My younger son (2 yrs younger) is in the military, in special operations, is married, got badly injured, has a great wife who's an engineer, she got pregnant after much trouble, scares with the diagnostic tests, possible problems, turned out ok and my granddaughter is great! Another one on the way now, but my younger son is trying to depart from the military, with his injuries he can't do the spec ops job that he loves, and in the diagnostic process for his departure there have been more scary things, so that is a pending issue of possible badness.
Been in NC about 3 yrs now. After the first year dealing with mom's broken hip and diminished capabilities, I got a job as a pet-sitter, having met a guy that ran the company and helped me when my young Great Pyrenees (that I got as a puppy after getting here) went down with orthopedic disaster at 120 lbs. I was strong and fit, but I couldn't lift and transport him by myself. So I did that work hard and fast for a bit, and suddenly realized that my back was killing me. So I was able to change my work with them to doing international transports of family pets, instead of the physical work of home-to-home pet-sitting. Made more money, too.
Skip ahead, my back was getting worse, I had no health insurance. Wasn't able to work anymore (plus some problems with the owners and their way of doing things, nvm) Finally managed a self-pay diagnostic series with an orthopedic surgeon, and seems my lower back was trashed, and I needed surgery. No can do without insurance of some sort. Eventually was able to get Medicaid (and food stamps!). My poor mom's retirement income and good credit were stretched beyond all reason, so the food stamps help.
Skip ahead more, was able to get the back surgery done several months ago, great success. Am working on doing a job with another international pet-shipping company to get some darned income, and my schizophrenic son, for whom we were able to find a vocational rehab living situation, but his getting accepted there is delayed, and he has no money left, has lost his insurance, is about to be evicted from his apartment, so is living with us while all that stuff is pending.
Sorry for all the details, I'm pretty sure it's TMI and I hope it's not inappropriate. But the whole point is, I couldn't afford to smoke anymore, and of course smoking was the main vice I used to deal with stress through all this! 3 packs a day. Thus quitting, and vaping was the thing that allowed me to get this far, because the hand-to-mouth habit is the hard part for me. So far, so good!
Meanwhile, I thank you folks for being here!
I'm considering marrying him...after all it's been 10 years and it doesn't appear that I'm going anywhere else. 
