Bothered. Need help.

[jtbje]

Hello... I’m feeling bothered and disgruntled and thought I’d turn to you guys for help.

I’m still smoking. Much less than I was, but smoking none the less.

I’m loving vaping, and I keep my vape with me constantly. I have some awesome flavors that taste amazing. I have devices that are good enough for me. I have the ok from my CFO (husband) to buy whatever I need whenever I need it. (He’s a non smoker). I have all the motivation, as my mom is actively dying of lung cancer. I have family who recently (within the last 6 months) quit smoking using vaping. So I have all the support. Guys, my husband even put plants and my vape stuff in my smoking spot on the sunporch. (Picture below). I have high nic salts and regular juice. I work from home and homeschool so my stress is low because I never have to deal with people.

But I’m still smoking.

I set regulations on myself. No smoking in the car. No smoking when I’m with my kids. No smoking while out running errands. This has cut my smoking down a LOT!

But I’m still smoking. I can’t not have a pack of cigarettes. And if I have them I smoke them.

When I don’t have them that smokers panic is there, it just feels like the vaping keeps it in check. Like I can feel the anxiety and unease under the surface but not the teeth-gnashing feeling I would get when I tried to quit before.

What gives, guys? Why am I holding on so tightly? Why is this so difficult? What can I do??? (Yes this is a cry for help)

I’m still smoking. And I have to stop. I don’t want my mom to die and have lighting a cigarette be the first thing I do after. Please help!!

Vape specs:

35mg salts in berry and mint
6mg ejuice various (6) flavors
Liquid nic, pg, vg (from when I thought I could DIY)
Smok Novo (for salts)
Uwell Whirl and vandyvape berserker (for non salts)
Some big black pen style thing that burns way too hot for me (don’t remember the name)
An old leaky Kanger box mod
1 PAD smoker for 18? Years
Quit twice but both times were during pregnancy. It was easy!!! (Seriously, it was)

 

[englishmick]

If it's any comfort it took me a year of vaping before I finally quit. It's just easier for some people, harder for others.

One thing you might look into is WTA. If you're not familiar with that it's an extract made from tobacco that contains several other compounds in addition to nicotine. Supposedly it covers more of the bases of smoking addiction. Never used it myself but some folks here have said they were unable to get completely off the cigs without it. You can keep one setup loaded with WTA and pull it out when the urge to smoke gets particularly strong.

So don't beat yourself up if you can't nail it right away. Just don't give up on vaping. I know I tried to cut out those last few cigs many times. I actually succeeded during a period when I wasn't actively trying. It just happened, I had 2 left in the pack. I went out on the deck and lit one up. It tasted so gross I broke it up and scattered the tobacco on the lawn. Realised I had one more left and went out and took one drag and broke that one up too.

Good luck

 

[Skeebo]

Hello... I’m feeling bothered and disgruntled and thought I’d turn to you guys for help.

I’m still smoking. Much less than I was, but smoking none the less.

I’m loving vaping, and I keep my vape with me constantly. I have some awesome flavors that taste amazing. I have devices that are good enough for me. I have the ok from my CFO (husband) to buy whatever I need whenever I need it. (He’s a non smoker). I have all the motivation, as my mom is actively dying of lung cancer. I have family who recently (within the last 6 months) quit smoking using vaping. So I have all the support. Guys, my husband even put plants and my vape stuff in my smoking spot on the sunporch. (Picture below). I have high nic salts and regular juice. I work from home and homeschool so my stress is low because I never have to deal with people.

But I’m still smoking.

I set regulations on myself. No smoking in the car. No smoking when I’m with my kids. No smoking while out running errands. This has cut my smoking down a LOT!

But I’m still smoking. I can’t not have a pack of cigarettes. And if I have them I smoke them.

When I don’t have them that smokers panic is there, it just feels like the vaping keeps it in check. Like I can feel the anxiety and unease under the surface but not the teeth-gnashing feeling I would get when I tried to quit before.

What gives, guys? Why am I holding on so tightly? Why is this so difficult? What can I do??? (Yes this is a cry for help)

I’m still smoking. And I have to stop. I don’t want my mom to die and have lighting a cigarette be the first thing I do after. Please help!!

Vape specs:

35mg salts in berry and mint
6mg ejuice various (6) flavors
Liquid nic, pg, vg (from when I thought I could DIY)
Smok Novo (for salts)
Uwell Whirl and vandyvape berserker (for non salts)
Some big black pen style thing that burns way too hot for me (don’t remember the name)
An old leaky Kanger box mod
1 PAD smoker for 18? Years
Quit twice but both times were during pregnancy. It was easy!!! (Seriously, it was)

Please do not beat yourself up. You are going through an extremely stressful time right now. If the nicotine level is not satisfying you it's okay to increase it. A lot of us vapers started with a high nicotine level in the beginning. Decreasing that level almost comes naturally for a lot of us later on down the road.

I am really sorry to hear about your mother.

 

[etma]

If you have that conviction at times when you don’t smoke why don’t you try 24 hrs no cigarettes, then 48, once a week you have a day with cigarettes as a cheat day, etc. I think one of the biggest hurdles are the other chemicals in cigarettes that your body is used to. Also, find a way that you enjoy the flavor of vaping more. I change my settings thru the day to accommodate the flavor and warmth. (air flow, wattage/TC) Think of it as you are drinking coffe or tea depending on what you add changes the flavor.

Also some members have succes with snus for when they can’t vape.

 

[jandrew]

As you say, when you have them you smoke them. It might just be that you simply have to not have cigarettes around and live with the underlying unease that comes with it, keeping it in check with vaping until your brain/body believes it is still getting the nicotine it wants.

As mentioned above, WTA ejuice may help by supplying some of the other alkaloids present in cigarette smoke.

Since you have DIY juice supplies, you can try some unflavored at various nic-levels -- being rather neutral, it can feel more like smoking than vaping something like chocolate-chip banana bread and that may help (our brains are weird and temperamental things).

 

[chellie]

It's tough because everyone is different. The one sentence that you said, "And if I have them I smoke them," could have been written by me. So maybe this will work for you.

I smoked for close to 40 years, 2 to 3 packs per day. For me, there was no way to gradually taper because if I had cigs I'd smoke them. If I did attempt to dual-use and knowing myself so well, I'd either have gone back to smoking full time or I'd still be dual using. I'd be the type that would take a vape and then a puff off of a cig.

So my suggestion is to maybe try to get through one day without cigs. Just one full day. From the minute you open your eyes until the second you go to bed. Make sure your equipment is charged so that there is no battery running out or anything like that. You seem to have enough equipment to not have any issues to get through a full day without having to worry about recharging anything.

Try to eliminate any reason that would have you run out for a cig (the battery died , no juice et). On the night before at bedtime have your very nice and supportive hubby get rid of all your cigs --not hiding them but trashed so you eliminate all the temptations. And Instead of putting limits on yourself - no smoking here, no smoking there try a different mindset -- all positive. Try the mindset that you can vape anytime you want to smoke and vape as much as you want to. Whenever you get the urge,- you pick up the vape.

You may surprise yourself and find that you get through the 24 hours with much less stress than your thought and then you will just put all your efforts towards vaping.

That is pretty much how I did it. Again, we are all different but if you are like me -- having any regular cigs around means you are going to smoke them.

There's no downside really to trying this because if it works for your great. If not, then you know that you have to really focus on working on a tapering plan.

 

[VHRB2014]

Just my experiance, ok. You have to make a decision. Quiting smoking is not pain free, but it is bearable when you got vaping. You gotta make that decision to stop and stop letting the committee talk you out of it. If you put them down, in 30 days you'll find that nawing feeling starting to subside, there will be times its especially frustrating, but you will notice its not as bad. Best of luck.

 

[Jazzman]

Jtbje... there's nothing wrong with what you're doing! The only thing wrong is what your thinking.

If you are smoking less than you used to you are doing it right. Maybe you're only getting 50% of the benefit that you could be, instead of 95% less harmful than smoking it might only be 50% less harmful. But that's kind of a big deal really. You will feel the positive results in your health too after a while. What's not to like.

Take all the negativity you're feeling now and turn that to really branching out a bit in more in vaping and making as pleasant and satisfying experience as you can. Probably be the easiest way increase your vape ratio. So you get a shopping spree.

But whatever else you do... just keep doing what you're doing. You're doing fine.

 

[kross8]

It's tough because everyone is different. The one sentence that you said, "And if I have them I smoke them," could have been written by me. So maybe this will work for you.

I smoked for close to 40 years, 2 to 3 packs per day. For me, there was no way to gradually taper because if I had cigs I'd smoke them. If I did attempt to dual-use and knowing myself so well, I'd either have gone back to smoking full time or I'd still be dual using. I'd be the type that would take a vape and then a puff off of a cig.

So my suggestion is to maybe try to get through one day without cigs. Just one full day. From the minute you open your eyes until the second you go to bed. Make sure your equipment is charged so that there is no battery running out or anything like that. You seem to have enough equipment to not have any issues to get through a full day without having to worry about recharging anything.

Try to eliminate any reason that would have you run out for a cig (the battery died , no juice et). On the night before at bedtime have your very nice and supportive hubby get rid of all your cigs --not hiding them but trashed so you eliminate all the temptations. And Instead of putting limits on yourself - no smoking here, no smoking there try a different mindset -- all positive. Try the mindset that you can vape anytime you want to smoke and vape as much as you want to. Whenever you get the urge,- you pick up the vape.

You may surprise yourself and find that you get through the 24 hours with much less stress than your thought and then you will just put all your efforts towards vaping.

That is pretty much how I did it. Again, we are all different but if you are like me -- having any regular cigs around means you are going to smoke them.

There's no downside really to trying this because if it works for your great. If not, then you know that you have to really focus on working on a tapering plan.

Agree , I stopped smoking unplanned with vaping.. I had to seriously chain vape 24mg for about 2+weeks then it got a lot easier (used sub ohm tanks)

 

[JCinFLA]

I switched totally over to vaping after smoking 1 - 1.5 packs a day for 42+ years. I was the last person in my family and amongst all my friends...that anyone thought would ever be able to stop smoking, including myself.

For me, I knew I couldn't do it all at once though, after smoking all those years and having tried lots of different things to quit before. So I set up a schedule to follow, allowing myself to smoke (but less), while vaping more and more. I'd already managed to get down to 1/2 PAD when I started my "plan". First week...each day I allowed myself 9, at whatever were the most usual times I smoked. For me, that meant a couple with my morning coffee, 1-2 after lunch and dinner, 1 each time I took 1 of my dogs out for a "pit stop", and 1 right before getting ready for bed. The rest of each day...I only vaped. The second week...each day I allowed myself 8 per day, while vaping all other times. The third week...7 per day while vaping more, etc., etc. By the week that I'd gotten down to 2 per day, I really didn't even need them, because I was really liking vaping and it was supplying the nic I needed very well! I'd take about 2-3 puffs of them at most and then put them out. The last week when I could have 1 per day, I didn't even make it the whole week. At the end of the 2nd day that week...that was it. I'd had enough. I was done with smoking. Never had any cravings either, while doing it, nor any since then. It took me almost exactly 2 months to switch over, but I was honestly relaxed and comfortable while doing it (no cravings, no moodiness, no anxiety about it, etc.). My only regret when I'd had my last ciggy...was that I hadn't tried vaping many years earlier!

You'll find out what works best for you. A couple of important things to remember, IMO, are: 1) Don't beat yourself up over the cigarettes you're still smoking...just continue smoking less and vaping more. 2) Do it for yourself. I promise you, it's a feeling of accomplishment like no other...when you finally quit.

 

[chellie]

Agree , I stopped smoking unplanned with vaping.. I had to seriously chain vape 24mg for about 2+weeks then it got a lot easier (used sub ohm tanks)

HI there - I chain vaped too. It was almost always in hand. I did not start on the good stuff tho. I was using the Vuse at first -- like 50 mg nic and I was going through 3 to 4 of those cartridges, then egos, then ego -like pen devices with tanks and then finally sub "ohm-ing". I truly was not 100% satisfied until I started with sub ohm devices but stuck it out!

 

[chellie]

I switched totally over to vaping after smoking 1 - 1.5 packs a day for 42+ years. I was the last person in my family and amongst all my friends...that anyone thought would ever be able to stop smoking, including myself.

For me, I knew I couldn't do it all at once though, after smoking all those years and having tried lots of different things to quit before. So I set up a schedule to follow, allowing myself to smoke (but less), while vaping more and more. I'd already managed to get down to 1/2 PAD when I started my "plan". First week...each day I allowed myself 9, at whatever were the most usual times I smoked. For me, that meant a couple with my morning coffee, 1-2 after lunch and dinner, 1 each time I took 1 of my dogs out for a "pit stop", and 1 right before getting ready for bed. The rest of each day...I only vaped. The second week...each day I allowed myself 8 per day, while vaping all other times. The third week...7 per day while vaping more, etc., etc. By the week that I'd gotten down to 2 per day, I really didn't even need them, because I was really liking vaping and it was supplying the nic I needed very well! I'd take about 2-3 puffs of them at most and then put them out. The last week when I could have 1 per day, I didn't even make it the whole week. At the end of the 2nd day that week...that was it. I'd had enough. I was done with smoking. Never had any cravings either, while doing it, nor any since then. It took me almost exactly 2 months to switch over, but I was honestly relaxed and comfortable while doing it (no cravings, no moodiness, no anxiety about it, etc.). My only regret when I'd had my last ciggy...was that I hadn't tried vaping many years earlier!

You'll find out what works best for you. A couple of important things to remember, IMO, are: 1) Don't beat yourself up over the cigarettes you're still smoking...just continue smoking less and vaping more. 2) Do it for yourself. I promise you, it's a feeling of accomplishment like no other...when you finally quit.

It is interesting to read how others quit. In my circle of friends and family I was the last person that anyone would think would ever not smoke. Always had one in hand. That's a great plan and you sound disciplined. I was on meds for a serious and painful injury and I successfully followed a similar path when I decreased my meds. For smoking --if any were around - I know I'd smoke 'em. The family used to joke that I'd smoke wood if necessary

We are all different and whatever works is great. Hopefully, the op will get some great ideas from all the ideas here.

 

[Old Greybeard]

"I’m still smoking. Much less than I was, but smoking none the less.".

You are winning in other words. And the demon cigarettes hate that. Smoking will take your success, turn it against you, try to drive you into a circle of despair where the only way out is to continue to smoke.

To come anywhere near to winning this battle, you need to understand yourself, your motives, your strengths and your weaknesses. All of the battle is yours alone. Vaping will be a vital ally in helping, as will your family. What they cannot do is step into that void inside your heart when you reach for that cigarette to fill the gap. To those who don't understand, it is the most lonely place imaginable. Vaping can nail the addiction, and NRT and vaping both contribute to that, but the key IMO to success, is staying on the "giving up" wagon. Until you discover the emotional and psychological triggers for yourself, where your limits are, tobacco will have the upper hand. It will lie, deceive, manipulate and pull every dirty trick in the book until it consumes you. Tobacco is ruthless, and you need to be more cunning, and dedicated than it is, to win.

You need to ask yourself two questions, and be brutally honest with yourself in your response. Firstly, why do you smoke? Secondly, can you, in all honesty, see yourself as a non-smoker? Once you have the answers to these two questions, you can plan your strategy and act accordingly.

I've cut my habit down to less than a ¼ of what I used to smoke (40+ years smoking with asthma, COPD and heart conditions). I'm under no illusions that the very last part of the battle, letting go totally, will be the hardest. I still see smoking, to a much lesser degree than before, as a friend, an ally. I need to cross that rubicon, where vaping is my best friend. Daily, my trust in a hot coil and a set of charged batteries grows. Hanging around these forums helps me to understand I am not alone. Soon, the tourniquet around my addiction will cut off the blood supply enough for it to rot and fall off. That, I'm 100% convinced of. My challenge is not to look back, but to look forward. Undoubtedly, I will spend the rest of my life a vaper, but I'm happy with that and can live with myself. I will still need a crutch, but it will be on my terms. I've always admired the folks that can have the occasional cigarette and walk away. I'm aiming for that. Being honest with myself, I don't think I'll ever reach total abstinence, but who knows? What is critical for me is that I don't fall into the hellish spiral of giving up tobacco, patting myself on the back, then falling back into the habit days, weeks, months or even years later with all the associated guilt and shame. The tobacco demon then has an even greater emotional hold over me. Those days are gone.

Some have equated giving up smoking to the grieving process. I totally agree, it is like getting divorced, or indeed loosing a loved one. I believe as smokers and ex-smokers, until we address the emotional side of addiction, we only have part of the cure.

 

[rosesense]

Chellie's story is pretty much the same as mine. I am a compulsive type and if the cigs were there, I would smoke them. OTOH, I had major anxiety attacks just thinking about not having any in the house. The first week, I had a pack and told myself they were 'just in case'. Well, slowly I smoked them. At that point I knew I couldn't have any around but anxiety set in again. I finally had a talk with myself and figured out the worst possible scenario if I didn't have any and had a panic attack....I would hop in the car and go to the all night store. I bought back up vape gear and chained vape for quite awhile, still do to some extent. That worked for me, I never bought another pack nor smoked again. That was 9 years ago and I am so thankful.

Others have said it well, each person has their own individual journey and has to work out what is right for them. Best of luck to you and you are doing great.

 

[DeloresRose]

I’m glad to hear you have a supportive family in this stressful time.

And I understand. My brother was diagnosed with cancer in ‘12. He was in and out of the hospital, and my sister donated bone marrow in ‘13. That was a rough few months. A couple months later, my MIL was diagnosed with cancer, and her dog had to be put to sleep the next day.

She died the following January. A few months after that, my husband was diagnosed. He died February of 2015. We put one of our dogs to sleep before his diagnosis, and one after he passed, and then I lost my parrot.

I spent my entire adult life with that man - 35 years together, 31.5 married.

So trust me, I know the stress. I also get why it’s so important for you to quit.

Every cigarette you don’t smoke is a win, and one step closer to quitting. This is not the time to beat yourself up because it’s not as easy or quick as you’d like it to be.

Just keep trying.

 

[stols001]

I found WTA and Swedish snus really helpful. I have a brain that just seems to like/need the minor alkaloids. You can find Swedish snus in most gas stations under the name "American General Snus" and it's cheap like 4 bucks. It really helps me (I use it at work and some on weekends because it has more of the "other stuff" than WTA even, I think.

With that said you are moving in the right direction, you could just carry on. I first encountered vaping like 9 years ago, to say it took me a while is kind of an understatement, so by all means try suggestions but most of all KEEP VAPING.

Anna

 

[United States]

Those last few are the hardest for most.

Hang in there. Be patient and by all means don't stress about it. That just makes it worse.

 

[jtbje]

You ALL are incredibly helpful and kind with sharing your successes, failures, and stories. The question was asked, “could you ever see yourself as a non smoker?” And I feel like that hit the nail on the head. I can’t. My whole, rowdy, fun, loud Cajun family....all smokers. All sitting outside laughing and talking over one another and drinking Community coffee and...smoking.

This is part of my identity. This is like saying no more coffee or you suddenly have to forget how to make the best roux from scratch. But my grandma taught me that! I don’t want to forget that!!

But this is no gumbo we are battling with. These are cigarettes. Cigarettes in a family of which every person that has died, has died of cancer. I need to figure out how to cut that connection. And I don’t want my mother’s death to be the thing that does it.

I’m going to go all day today. I have cigarettes but I don’t smoke them in the mornings because I just happen to have the best captain crunch and strawberry milk flavor mixed up and ready to go with my coffee. (Community-Pecan Praline if anyone is interested).

I can have one tomorrow. They are in my car. That’s where they will stay. Tomorrow, if I choose, and I probably will choose this. I can have one.

If this fails y’all gave me great advice for walking them down. I smoke an average of 6 a day, so I could do 6 then 5 then 4 etc. I’ll do a whole day. And if it doesn’t work I have a plan B.

Thank you. From my heart, thank you friends.

 

[Jwaterski]

Hang in there!! Of course it's hard! We didn't all spend the last 20, 30, 40, or more years smoking because quitting was so easy. It is hard!! Different for everyone, but still hard.
And, just because you may not have to deal with people in person daily, that is not stress free life.. don't fool yourself, it won't make it any easier. Give yourself at least one break, celebrate all the success you have had so far at quitting smoking! So you're not smoke free, do you smoke less? Are you still striving to be smoke free? That's what winning is.

 

[United States]

My buddy told me once "ever notice your family all have a chimney sticking out of their head?" I said "what?" He said "your birth certificate has a Marlboro logo on it". "What?"
He said "face it dude, you're born into a smoker family".

I've read here many times folks saying reducing from 30+ a day to 5 was easy. But 5 to zero was tough. And being around smokers makes it about 9,992 times more difficult.

Now realizing your mom has lung cancer, and quite possibly from smoking ask yourself this; could the cancer be from asbestos? Or an old pesticide? Anybody else dying of lung cancer in the family? Could it be an inherited thing?
Not trying to disuade you from stopping the habit. Not at all. It's just that smoking is often times seen as the culprit. Now heart disease, diabetes, emphysema, and COPD... Those are directly attributed to smoking. Often times high colesterol is a side affect too.

My chimney headed family typically live to be 70 something and not one developed lung cancer. They all die of those other dreadful side affects. Heart attack 99.9% of the time.

I have two smoke free siblings who stopped all at once. One was 12 years ago and still does a nicotine losenge after meals. The other vapes. Neither will likely ever smoke again. Both envisioned themselves as non smokers and stuck it out.

My other sibling and I both still smoke. But my other smoking sibling envisioned his tobacco being wrapped in a $5 bill and has drastically cut back. He's a tight-wod and that works for him. Me, I've developed type 2 diabetes, likely from smoking. So each time I poke my finger to check my sugar is a reminder of why my mom, my dad, all my aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents are all on the wrong side of the daisies.

Eh, you'll get there. Just keep with it.

Oh, and leave your cigarettes on the dashboard where sunshine will cause them to go stale. In a few days they'll taste awful.