Don't know where to post this...just so mad at myself, I screwed up

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Rat2chat2

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It is what it is and there is nothing you can do about the past. You chose to smoke. You did not experience the same joy that it use to bring you and now you realize vaping is all that you need to be satisfied. I'd call it a good day myself.
JC_clapgirl.gif
 

catalinaflyer

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Thanks so much you guys ((hugs)) I am seriously sitting here bawling because I messed up....and it was all over something I can't do anything about, just got frustrated....I don't think I am going to set back my counter, that would just make me feel even worse, I just hope the awful smell and taste is enough to keep me from doing it again..I get into this negative mind state (like today) and I start to get to feeling it doesn't matter what happens to me and then I just made myself feel worse :'(

Soft kitty,
Warm kitty,
Little ball of fur,
Happy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Purr, purr, purr.

4 puffs after 7 months off, no worries and certainly no need to reset the counter. This isn't AA so a little slip does not cost you the achievement coins.

So I thought since Sheldon, Penny and the rest use Soft Kitty that maybe it would help you feel better too.
 

Robino1

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Soft kitty,
Warm kitty,
Little ball of fur,
Happy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Purr, purr, purr.

4 puffs after 7 months off, no worries and certainly no need to reset the counter. This isn't AA so a little slip does not cost you the achievement coins.

So I thought since Sheldon, Penny and the rest use Soft Kitty that maybe it would help you feel better too.

Love soft kitty!!! :wub: Taught that to my youngest granddaughter :D
 

johnny madman

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Dec 2, 2014
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I haven't had a smoke since June....sure, I never dropped from 24 (nor do I plan to...) but I was doing good!

But today, I took 4 puffs off a smoke and threw it out, my chest hurts and it tasted awful (it was from a pack I had from May)...do I need to reset my counter?

I feel like s**t....all this started this weekend, and now I just let myself down because I get so mad or down sometimes...I am so upset :cry:

Sounds like Victory to me! Sheesh don't be so hard on yourself you did good, you lit one up and tossed it out and it sucked. When is the last time you heard an Xsmoker say that before? I guess that question in back of your mind of them ciggies will be forever gone now and you will enjoy vaping even more. Now without any hesitation. Congrats!
 
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AndriaD

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I just started vaping about a week, so far down to 2-3 cigs a day, ran out, and haven't bought a pack. Smoke free for 2 days!

4 puffs is nothing, don't beat yourself over it. Seems you know you hate them, so just don't give in next time!

That 2 days and no hissy fits is a great feeling, isn't it? That was the point where I knew I really had quit smoking, if I could go 2 days without smoking... and not even care! :D Previously I couldn't go TWO HOURS without a serious nic-hissy-fit! Heck, ONE hour was a serious challenge!!! :thumb:

Andria
 

ian-field

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I haven't had a smoke since June....sure, I never dropped from 24 (nor do I plan to...) but I was doing good!

But today, I took 4 puffs off a smoke and threw it out, my chest hurts and it tasted awful (it was from a pack I had from May)...do I need to reset my counter?

I feel like s**t....all this started this weekend, and now I just let myself down because I get so mad or down sometimes...I am so upset :cry:

Frankly if someone gave me a cigarette, I'd probably smoke it - I'm that confident I could just pick up the e-cig and carry on as before.

The cigarette you had from May would be totally stale - what colour did you go?
 

AndriaD

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I discovered that I just can't allow myself even one; if I have even one, that idiot addict 2-yr-old in my brain wakes up and starts rattling my cage every minute of the day. I HATE that feeling, that "Now? Is it time NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW?!?!?!" persistent badgering. Once I laid them down completely and said no more... that idiot in my brain mercifully shut up.

Andria
 

xena222

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OH MY GOSH!!! I so seriously love you guys ((huge hugs)) I was kind of out of it for the rest of the day yesterday...so to avoid ranting, I took a computer break...
LOL, at that's how I roll...and that ENTIRE nurse story!!! YIKES....hehe!!
Okay, for the record, you guys have all convinced me not to reset my counter...thank you so much - I think I did get into that AA mindset (LOL, nothing A related has ever worked for me ever...) And thank God you guys didn't kick me out....:D If I didn't have here, I don't know what I would have done with myself yesterday :( You are ABSOLUTELY right, a LOT more going on here than that cig....and it made me beat myself down - I ever thought a couple times "I should just smoke, who cares??" When I came back in the house, my 9 year old was so upset :'( and she said "it smells soooo bad mommy"....so I kind of felt like I failed her...BUT today, I vaped alllll day (using this new VV I can keep hooked to the computer :)...this is a GOOD idea!!) I filled my tank up with some tobacco menthol yesterday and then went back to my straight menthol today....I am good!! I would never have felt better about it without everyone here...I can't tell you how much it REALLY means to me...even with my family and friends around...I get pretty alone sometimes, and all of this had made me feel like I can be myself, mess up and people still care...that is a HUGE thing!!!

And cigarettes that are like 7-8 months old taste REALLLLY bad....sort of made my chest hurt and I felt like I sucked on a dirty ashtray...it was NOT a good thing LOL!!! **imagine drinking from an old .... and beer container**
I love you guys!!!:oops:
 

AndriaD

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OH MY GOSH!!! I so seriously love you guys ((huge hugs)) I was kind of out of it for the rest of the day yesterday...so to avoid ranting, I took a computer break...
LOL, at that's how I roll...and that ENTIRE nurse story!!! YIKES....hehe!!
Okay, for the record, you guys have all convinced me not to reset my counter...thank you so much - I think I did get into that AA mindset (LOL, nothing A related has ever worked for me ever...) And thank God you guys didn't kick me out....:D If I didn't have here, I don't know what I would have done with myself yesterday :( You are ABSOLUTELY right, a LOT more going on here than that cig....and it made me beat myself down - I ever thought a couple times "I should just smoke, who cares??" When I came back in the house, my 9 year old was so upset :'( and she said "it smells soooo bad mommy"....so I kind of felt like I failed her...BUT today, I vaped alllll day (using this new VV I can keep hooked to the computer :)...this is a GOOD idea!!) I filled my tank up with some tobacco menthol yesterday and then went back to my straight menthol today....I am good!! I would never have felt better about it without everyone here...I can't tell you how much it REALLY means to me...even with my family and friends around...I get pretty alone sometimes, and all of this had made me feel like I can be myself, mess up and people still care...that is a HUGE thing!!!

And cigarettes that are like 7-8 months old taste REALLLLY bad....sort of made my chest hurt and I felt like I sucked on a dirty ashtray...it was NOT a good thing LOL!!! **imagine drinking from an old .... and beer container**
I love you guys!!!:oops:

Getting free of cigarettes is not an easy thing to do, harder for some, easier for others, and it really depends on so many different factors -- I'd reiterate what so many said, which I also found to be true in my brief backslide -- they taste like total crap. It was after that backslide that I began to lose my taste for my trusty ol' Virginia vape; it just doesn't taste good to me anymore. I do have one that I vape that has a tobaccoish scent and taste, mixed with coffee, but even it sometimes just tastes wrong to me; I really prefer the sweet goodies. :D

So now you know how awful they are, and can be doubly happy to have found something so much better. :thumbs: Which won't even kill you. :D

Andria
 

xena222

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Soft kitty,
Warm kitty,
Little ball of fur,
Happy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Purr, purr, purr.

4 puffs after 7 months off, no worries and certainly no need to reset the counter. This isn't AA so a little slip does not cost you the achievement coins.

So I thought since Sheldon, Penny and the rest use Soft Kitty that maybe it would help you feel better too.

Awwww!!! I almost forgot this...that totally calms me down for some reason (LOL, not to mention my 4 cats...I am lil old cat lady in the making :D ) This just made me smile so much - and thank God about NOT having those little achievement coins...I don't have enough to give back yet - LOL, I spent all mine on juice!!
 

James Wilson

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Ok didn't real anything but the original. Let me say this now. I understand. I finally gave up the analogs in September when I got my current set up. 2-3 weeks later I was really stressed and feeling down. So I bummed a smoke and smoked it. First like you I hated the taste. I only finished the analog because I didn't want to waste it. I felt down on myself about it though. I even posted on here about it. Another vapor who ended up becoming a friend saw my post and sent me some stronger juices to help me deal with it. Some 24mg and 36 mg juices. To this day I have not picked up another analog. My average nic amount is 18 mg. But there are days I still need stronger juice. To be honest with what he sent me, what 2 others friends gave me and the one actual bottle I bought after Christmas,. I got enough juice to last me to summer. Unfortunately for me it isn't enough. I want more juices. I want more variety. lol. I got 8 bottles here total. 2 was the same flavor but then when I was pouring back some extra juice left in my tank in one, I accidentally put it in the wrong one and it became a mix bottle. so now on that one bottle i just pour in what little juice i have left in my tank into it so it don't go to waste. That's my bottle for when i either a. run out of the others or b. feel like being a bit crazy. lol. I know this should be enough juices here but call me crazy but I don't think I will be happy with my juice amount until I got about a while vape store's worth of variety. lol
 

Maiar

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My brother still smokes. And every once in awhile I'll have one with him. They usually taste like .... though and I go right back to vaping. I even have an emergency pack around here somewhere still. It's not a big deal though. Just think of all the smokes you haven't had because of vaping. And even if you have one a week that's still an incredible drop in amount.
So my banner down there isn't totally accurate... but it isn't off by much lol
 

Dyanne

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I haven't had a smoke since June....sure, I never dropped from 24 (nor do I plan to...) but I was doing good!

But today, I took 4 puffs off a smoke and threw it out, my chest hurts and it tasted awful (it was from a pack I had from May)...do I need to reset my counter?

I feel like s**t....all this started this weekend, and now I just let myself down because I get so mad or down sometimes...I am so upset :cry:

IMO you should NOT restart your counter over 4 puffs. Forget about it and keep on keeping on, you haven't finished the cigarette have you? You have not decided to buy another pack? Just chalk it up to curiosity/momentary lapse in judgement but 4 puffs is not worth restarting your counter over. But that is just my thoughts, you have done an amazing job going since July 2014 don't let 4 puffs ruin all that hard work. You should be very very proud of every cigarette you HAVEN'T smoked in that time.
 
It's been a while for me, but I still cant go 2 weeks without a breif but powerful craving for a yum stick of the sweet smokey cancerous death (tm). Even though my "adult brain" knows I cant stand the smell of them (trying to chat with someone while they're smoking leaves me powerful nauseated), that "toddler brain" is all GIMME.

One thing that gets me through them, is to mentally picture where the nearest store is that I could buy some, and confirm that I have money to do so, transportation to get there, etc etc. It kinda ties together with that feeling we all felt, when we smoked our last .... out of our packs...you instantly craved, just because you knew you didnt have them. Reassuring myself I have access to cancer sticks seems to calm the panic for a few minutes until it passes.

Now I just gotta figure out how to calm the panic of my batteries fading, but my other batts arent fully charged yet. Feels like I'm playing chicken with each puff!
 

Dyanne

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It's been a while for me, but I still cant go 2 weeks without a breif but powerful craving for a yum stick of the sweet smokey cancerous death (tm). Even though my "adult brain" knows I cant stand the smell of them (trying to chat with someone while they're smoking leaves me powerful nauseated), that "toddler brain" is all GIMME.

One thing that gets me through them, is to mentally picture where the nearest store is that I could buy some, and confirm that I have money to do so, transportation to get there, etc etc. It kinda ties together with that feeling we all felt, when we smoked our last .... out of our packs...you instantly craved, just because you knew you didnt have them. Reassuring myself I have access to cancer sticks seems to calm the panic for a few minutes until it passes.

Now I just gotta figure out how to calm the panic of my batteries fading, but my other batts arent fully charged yet. Feels like I'm playing chicken with each puff!

I am so with you on this post! I quit 23rd of December... yeah smart move xmas parties everywhere new years, smoker friends all over the place alcohol and all those will power smashers at every turn! Somehow I convinced myself my ecig was my power! Some of my friends even ridiculed me puffing away saying "you haven't given up smoking you are still smoking" I just agreed I was definately still inhaling nicotine which is way more fun than my skin absorbing a patch 24/7 and giving me nightmares while I slept :) I also did weaken and have a few puffs of my own cigarette left over in my pack that held my last 8 smokes. I quickly threw the rest of them out the window in the car on my way home from the last party as it made me want to puke... (sure perhaps the long island iced teas that I had consumed had helped with the queasiness but it felt better to blame that one cigarette). We all have our demons but this is the last place to judge! I am so grateful for this supportive forum and I am only just over 3 weeks in! If I did pick up another cig in a moment of weakness which I hope I don't I certainly would not restart my counter over ONE cigarette. If I bought a pack yep that would be complete failure and I would start again. Hugs! Congrats you are a winner xx
 
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