FDA FDA Deems Dogs

[B2L]

So for my freezer...would you all recommend one German Shepherd or maybe a handful of pugs????

I'm making room for a Great Dane

 

[Rossum]

Soylent Green could be cats...

That's why you shouldn't buy Chinese Soylent Green. There's no telling what they put in it over there!

 

[rico942]

Grooming shops will have to register with the FDA as "Dog Manufacturers", because they alter the structure of the component parts. An application will be required for each and every grooming style on every different breed ...

Ah, a sad day for puppies ...

 

[Kenna]

So for my freezer...would you all recommend one German Shepherd or maybe a handful of pugs????

Pugs. Easier to break down, & take up less space. You can fit them in all the nooks & crannies.

 

[The Ocelot]

Ocelots. Could lead to one keeping wild South American cats as pets.

Ocelots are the gateway to leopards.

 

[The Ocelot]

My dog is a grandfathered breed, but there are feral cats in my neighborhood. I am required to register as a breeder or are they considered raw material?

My next door neighbor has a mixed breed dog, is he adulterated? Will my eyeballs fall out if I pet him?

Feral cats are signs that the black market is already here. I don't know about your neighbor's dog, but to be on the safe side, they should pet it as much as possible, then get rid of it before August 2018.

 

[The Ocelot]

LMAO! Dadgummit, since I already own three cats, do I have to register them with the FDA or the AKC? Or, since I already owned them prior to the deeming, am I safe to keep them? What if I want another cat? Is there a "catch-phrase" that I can use to get my doctor to write a letter to deem that I need a cat as a medical device? I mean, they are really good at keeping pests out of the living space, which would improve overall health, right?

Will the deeming also prohibit the promotion of the Garfield comics/cartoons/movies/shirts/calendars/etc.? What about Heathcliff or the new Keanu movie that Key and Peele just put out? We need to know these things!!!

(Love ya, Occy! This was absolutely brilliant!)

Garfield and Heathcliff are the new Joe Camel.

Sorry, cats are dogs, not medical devices. The Family Bite Prevention and Dog Control Act gave the FDA authority over dogs and anything they deem to be a dog. The regs don't ban cats, they just make sure that minors don't pet them and that they aren't a threat to public health. Since you aren't going to sell your cats, or give them away, you're probably safe. If you want another one, you'll have to buy from an approved breeder or look in an alley.

 

[The Ocelot]

C

Cats can get fleas, which could infest your house. And children. Think of the Kidz. Cats can scratch, which could result in infection, which could lead to sepsis and even septic shock. Which could require amputation of various limbs, or death.

Cats are far more hazardous than dogs.

Recent studies indicate that young children exposed to cats are 150% more likely to keep cats as pets throughout their lives, dooming a new generation to an epidemic of septic shock. And fleas.

Cats are a gateway to a variety of other pets, including dangerous exotic pets like Siberian Tigers and Burmese Pythons

{Insert video here of child eaten by a Siberian Tiger}

The kid who went into the gorilla enclosure probably had a cat.

 

[The Ocelot]

But.. but... buuutttt... if they stay indoors, then they don't get fleas. And... and I don't have kidz. I traded 'em all for cat toys, and cat beds, and carpeted penthouses for the cats... and several bales of catnip. They're just so cuddly and funny when they're "nipped" out on catnip.

Catnip is a cat.

 

[The Ocelot]

Then we need to raise public awareness against Big Ferret! They continue to ignore the fact that the ferret industry is destroying trees to make all of those little ferret chew sticks, and shavings for their cages. They continue to flaunt their money and power to quash any rebellion against their corrupt, weasel-like ways. This cannot continue! We HAVE to make a stand NOW if we want to protect the right to keep our dogs and cats (cats are NOT dogs... I don't care what they say!).

The deeming is bias to the favor of BF. All ferrets are grandfathered in. Analysis of mitochondrial DNA suggests that ferrets were domesticated around 2,500 years ago, although what appear to be ferret remains have been dated to 1500 BC.

 

[The Ocelot]

Ban Mammals!

The FDA is clear, they aren't banning anything.

 

[The Ocelot]

Grooming shops will have to register with the FDA as "Dog Manufacturers", because they alter the structure of the component parts. An application will be required for each and every grooming style on every different breed ...

Ah, a sad day for puppies ...

Not that puppy. Beagles are grandfathered in.

 

[Hitmetwice]

Video - Watch Full Episodes Online

I'll never look at sharks the same again!

 

[tejas]

Sharks bite children! Sharks are dogs?

 

[Woofer]

But the FDA are female dogs. I am betting ..... doesn't fly here

Perhaps Preordeemed

The Family Bite Prevention and Dog Control Act

I wondered who would be America's reality check after Zappa and Carlin left.

 

[leftyandsparky]

3 drinks in and this is the best thing ever! Can I get a sign copy of this thread? Rofl

 

[Rickajho]

It all begins with indoctrination. The gateway revealed:

 

[Rickajho]

I'm making room for a Great Dane

How do you get it in the bottle?

Oops - "FDA Deems Bottles..."

 

[B2L]

How do you get it in the bottle?

Oops - "FDA Deems Bottles..."

Very carefully.

 

[LaraC]