Heather's Heavenly Vapes - THE BIG THREAD (Part 5)

[DavidOH]

Hang in there Lori.

 

[Bronze]

I laugh because John's wife (who as I stated kills John more than any of them) came down one day and knocked on my door. She wanted to sit down and chat with me. Her girls were driving her insane. Basically all she did for an hour is smoke one cigarette after the other and kept saying, "I'm not their friend, I'm their mother". "I'm not their friend, I'm their mother". "I'm not their friend, I'm their mother". Over and over and over. I don't talk much so I just let her go on and on. All I said was that is what my mother always told me. Finally she got up and left. I just said goodbye. I suspect she recharged her batteries and let her girls have it. LOL!

 

[Bronze]

Lori, sounds to me like you have a handle on things. I was not in good health when my kids were teens. They took advantage of it. Bronze does sound like he had a great mom. I had to be a mother and a father to my kids. I made mistakes, no doubt about it. But I did the best I could. Lori, I am sure you are doing the same. That is all that can be expected. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. You can tell a kid right from wrong, show them, live by it. The rest is up to them. Once they are teens, they listen to their friends, more than you. Now that my daughter is older, she lets me know that I did a good job. I was a parent, first and foremost. You are right when you talk about what parents can do now, vs. in the past. Things have changed. You have to be a parent, not a friend. Kids have plenty of friends, but they need a parent to raise them. They may act like they hate your guts, but they don't. They are just trying to figure out how to become independent. They don't like the fact that they still need you, and yearn for your wisdom. I don't care how old you are, you can still benefit from your parent's wisdom.

All spot on. My Mom told me to her dying days she would always be my mother and expected me to do what she told me to do. I was 42 when she died and I can honestly say I always did what she told me to do to the day she died and I would give anything to have her tell me what to do today. Whenever confronted with a dilemma, I always ask my mom what to do. I imagine her answer. Some things are a part of you and they go to your grave with you.

 

[LAwaters]

I surely will. It's all any of us can do and eventually things work out. A cat hug! Yay!

Funny because earlier today when I was upset, my cat was all over me. It'd be nice to think she cares, but I strongly suspect that she was drawn to the increase in my temperature.

Hang in there Lori.

 

[LAwaters]

Lori, sounds to me like you have a handle on things. I was not in good health when my kids were teens. They took advantage of it. Bronze does sound like he had a great mom. I had to be a mother and a father to my kids. I made mistakes, no doubt about it. But I did the best I could. Lori, I am sure you are doing the same. That is all that can be expected. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. You can tell a kid right from wrong, show them, live by it. The rest is up to them. Once they are teens, they listen to their friends, more than you. Now that my daughter is older, she lets me know that I did a good job. I was a parent, first and foremost. You are right when you talk about what parents can do now, vs. in the past. Things have changed. You have to be a parent, not a friend. Kids have plenty of friends, but they need a parent to raise them. They may act like they hate your guts, but they don't. They are just trying to figure out how to become independent. They don't like the fact that they still need you, and yearn for your wisdom. I don't care how old you are, you can still benefit from your parent's wisdom.

You are so right. I've made plenty of mistakes too. I am used to the normal amount of "hating" me. We can't let that get to us - it's nothing personal. My youngest has other issues. Even her sisters don't want to spend much time with her, and she doesn't have any close friends. I can only hope she sees at some point. Time will tell.

 

[Bronze]

This Ladies...is how it's done!!!



My only gripe is the Captain uses their names. Numbers would be more appropriate.

 

[MostlySunny]

Lori! So nice to see you. Sorry the youngest is pushing her limits. My oldest, I swear some days, will be the death of me. She's always been tough though. Thank God for Sadie. She's the easiest going sweetest most unusual teenager ever. She thinks of others first, 99% of the time, Chloe is the complete opposite.

Anyway, hang in there. I think your awesome!

Countdown to NOLA... Leaving Thursday night!!!

 

[MostlySunny]

Now along the lines of girls killing their parents.. I have a friend Mike. He has 4 daughters. However he was the only son with 4 sisters. He's got the whole thing down and his girls adore and respect him. His wife too. I look at him and think to myself, I need a Mike

 

[LAwaters]

Lori! So nice to see you. Sorry the youngest is pushing her limits. My oldest, I swear some days, will be the death of me. She's always been tough though. Thank God for Sadie. She's the easiest going sweetest most unusual teenager ever. She thinks of others first, 99% of the time, Chloe is the complete opposite.

Anyway, hang in there. I think your awesome!

Countdown to NOLA... Leaving Thursday night!!!

Thanks, April! See? They arrive to us with their temperaments before we even get a chance to make a mistake in parenting them. I always figured it was my job to see how they ticked and work within their temperaments to know how to teach them. But sometimes... nope.

I hope you all have an amazing time in NOLA. I'm so happy for you.

And I do hope you find your "Mike." Though it's a little weird for me to say that because my ex had four sisters, four daughters (with me) and didn't do so good. He has two more daughters now, and who knows? Maybe he's finally figuring it out. And his name is (drumroll) ... Mike!

 

[kkay59]

Bronze, it is so apparent how much you loved, and respected your mom. I know you still miss her. I hope my kids feel half as much for me, as you do, for your mom. Raising kids is not for light weights, that is for sure. I can laugh now, but it sure wasn't funny back then. There were many times I had to pray for strength, and wisdom, to get me through another day.

Lori, good friends are hard to come by. I had a ton of acquaintances, but a very small circle, of what I called friends. I have always been that way, and it isn't likely to change. I hope your daughter can find a good friend or two, and someone she can talk with, that would be a good influence on her. Part of my daughter's problem when she was a teen, was the "influence" of her teen peers. We all know what I am talking about. You can't pick your kids friends. But it sure would be nice if you could...lol. My daughter has had one friend, who is like a sister to her. They have been friends for well over a decade now. Friends can get you by during the good times, and bad. Maybe your youngest daughter will find a friend, from a hobby? I have two very good friends, who are more like family to me. One of those friendships started out because of a hobby we both enjoyed. That might ease the tension too. My daughter didn't have a hobby. My son had several. That might explain some things...

 

[LAwaters]

I was just reading back a few pages. Happy (belated) birthday, April!

 

[LAwaters]

Bronze, it is so apparent how much you loved, and respected your mom. I know you still miss her. I hope my kids feel half as much for me, as you do, for your mom. Raising kids is not for light weights, that is for sure. I can laugh now, but it sure wasn't funny back then. There were many times I had to pray for strength, and wisdom, to get me through another day.

Lori, good friends are hard to come by. I had a ton of acquaintances, but a very small circle, of what I called friends. I have always been that way, and it isn't likely to change. I hope your daughter can find a good friend or two, and someone she can talk with, that would be a good influence on her. Part of my daughter's problem when she was a teen, was the "influence" of her teen peers. We all know what I am talking about. You can't pick your kids friends. But it sure would be nice if you could...lol. My daughter has had one friend, who is like a sister to her. They have been friends for well over a decade now. Friends can get you by during the good times, and bad. Maybe your youngest daughter will find a friend, from a hobby? I have two very good friends, who are more like family to me. One of those friendships started out because of a hobby we both enjoyed. That might ease the tension too. My daughter didn't have a hobby. My son had several. That might explain some things...

I agree - I'd be so happy with just a fraction of the love and respect Bronze has for his mom. Any mom would.

All of your thoughts for my youngest are good ones. Sadly, she will first have to learn to be someone people can be friends with. Ugh. It breaks my heart to see it. There's a meanness beyond the usual teenage girl level. If you can imagine that. And, yes, she has seen counselors. When someone thinks the problem is with everyone else, it doesn't leave much room to help them. I will keep praying. And we'll see.

 

[kkay59]

That is very true. They have their own little personalities in the WOMB. I firmly believe that. But they aren't set in concrete until probably 3-4 years old. You can't change their genetics, or their personality. You can work on their character. Character can be tweaked. I bet that you have done a better job that you believe you have, Lori. You already had plenty of practice. Each child is different, as you know. My kids were different like night and day. Each needed something different. What worked for one, did not always work for the other. In fact, a lot of times I had to do something completely different. If is your job to know what makes your child tick. As a mother, you already know your child inside, and out. Sometimes it is just good to step back, and take a breath. We can look at things more objectively that way. If something doesn't work, try something else. Doing the same thing over, and over, with the same results, means change, not repeating. Well it is late. If I am not making sense, I will blame it on that...

Thanks, April! See? They arrive to us with their temperaments before we even get a chance to make a mistake in parenting them. I always figured it was my job to see how they ticked and work within their temperaments to know how to teach them. But sometimes... nope.

I hope you all have an amazing time in NOLA. I'm so happy for you.

And I do hope you find your "Mike." Though it's a little weird for me to say that because my ex had four sisters, four daughters (with me) and didn't do so good. He has two more daughters now, and who knows? Maybe he's finally figuring it out. And his name is (drumroll) ... Mike!

 

[PapawBrett]

Good Morning Army. An hour late already, but I guess I needed that extra hours sleep.

Have a Safe and Blessed Day

 

[Hulamoon]

And if you're Hula, you can do all three, provided revenge is first.....

 

[DavidOH]

Morning Everyone.

 

[Bunnykiller]

Mornin All...

 

[Robino1]

Top o' the mornin' te ya!

No Irish here, I don't think, but for those who are and those who plan to be today, Happy St. Patty's day to you

 

[Bronze]

Top o' the mornin' te ya!

No Irish here, I don't think, but for those who are and those who plan to be today, Happy St. Patty's day to you

I'm 1/8th Irish. Do I count?

Happy St. Patty's Day!

 

[EleanorR]

Lori: {{{hugs}}}

This Ladies...is how it's done!!!



My only gripe is the Captain uses their names. Numbers would be more appropriate.

One of many favorite scenes from one of my very favorite movies!