How old were you when you came "out"?

[McVapor]

Okay I have a new story to share XD

It was the day before my 20th birthday, my mom wanted to take me out to chinese for lunch. I never get to see her that often so I thought of this as nothing more than just lunch. Once we got to the restaurant she asked what kind of girls I like. Naturally I responded by telling her qualities I like in a person (all qualities I like in a guy though heh). She asked if I had a picture of some girls I like and I didn't know what to say. This is where she starts bombarding me with questions like 'why dont you ever bring girls home' and finally asks me if im gay. "No of course not! why do you think that?". She says that she wants to be a grandmother and that she doesn't think my sister will provide one so its all up to me; That because I never talk about girls or 'check girls out' that she fears im gay. "I just don't want you to live an unhappy life because you think you can't get girls". At this point I was like 'wtf?!'. I didn't know where to start on this one, so she took advantage of the moment and asked me "does your sister know?" to which I responded "No she doesn't know". She got me

So now my mum knows but thinks this is just a phase I will pass through as if this is a choice I made. I now have to fear her outing me to the family because she says "____ is going to find out, you may as well tell him/her".

Oh so my answer for how old I was when I came out to my mom is 20 heh

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

Mom's can be sneaky people!

 

[McVapor]

Mom's can be sneaky people!

I cracked up reading this. LOL its so true.

 

[cigarbabe]

I was 16 and just starting bringing girls home to spend the night in my top bunk.
I couldn't get away with bringing guys of course and I just happened to like girls better!
No one ever mentioned or even thought I might be gay or bisexual so there wasn't ever a need to say anything.
Lucky me!
C.B.

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

Yes, lucky you!

If I had it to do over again, I'd come out at 12 and just be done w/ it.

 

[debb]

Yes, lucky you!

If I had it to do over again, I'd come out at 12 and just be done w/ it.

ya got that right!!

 

[jbmcdan]

Yes, lucky you!

If I had it to do over again, I'd come out at 12 and just be done w/ it.

I wasn't twelve, but 15's not too far away I didn't come out of the closet, I was thrown out...

oh, and hi all, BTW

 

[Dharma]

Some of us don't need to come out, other than coming out of the womb, because from that point on it's pretty obvious that something is... different lol

 

[cigarbabe]

I truly wish it was easier for young people to come out today and not have to go through all the torment that some of you and them have to deal with.
I'd like to be to help in that way more .....
C.B.

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

I think that every generation has it a little bit (if even a TINY little bit) easier than the one before. Also depends greatly on where you are living and the mind set of the community in which you live, but the advances in gay rights are helping each new gay-youth generation and I'm thrilled to see it.

 

[Nighteyes]

argh...tell me about it, I constantly think about "what if I just took that leap of faith" back then and came out the last time it was on the forefront of my mind..before I buried it 8 years before finally coming out in college. Life SURELY would have been much different...would it have been better? Don't know...would my folks have tried harder to keep it from getting out to the rest of the family? oh ya...would they have made me seek counseling at church...for sure...would they have prevented me from hanging out with any of my male friends in fear I was sexing them all? Most likely...maybe it was good to wait until I was in college and free to seek my own unobstructed passage through my feelings, emotions, and urges...

lol who knows...

 

[debb]

I wish I had done things differently...and came out while I was still young enough to have fun...lol...but, then I wouldn't have my kids..and I have never regretted having them.....so I'm thankful that I finally got to come out ..my family ended up ok and all friends with our spouses..I have only had 2 relationships since coming out...my first passed away after being together 4 yrs...and the one I'm in now, (we've actually been friends for 40 yrs)..I've always loved being a mother...now I love being a lover..lol......it came late...but I am finally happy in my life....we have been married for 8 yrs. she is the love of my life, my best friend, lover, step mother to our kids, grandmother to our 6 grand kids.. sometimes I think they love her more then me...lol...and that makes me happy...acceptance is very important to me...and both sides of our family is very accepting....so yeah, I'm finally happy in every way..

 

[ScottinSoCal]

I truly wish it was easier for young people to come out today and not have to go through all the torment that some of you and them have to deal with.

I think it has gotten easier, overall. At least now they have television and movies to show them that someone, somewhere, doesn't think they're hopelessly evil and degenerate. They know that in some states (not many, but some) they're even considered almost as good as "normal" people, and deserve the same rights. Granted, the bigots have gotten more vocal, but I choose to see that as the last, desperate gasps of a dying breed. History and momentum are on our side, and the movement is mostly in the right direction, even if it isn't moving as quickly as I'd like - or as it should.

I don't know how old the rest of you are, but the most relevant support I had in high school was that trashy old movie Making Love - finally, a gay guy that didn't die alone and miserable. Bad as it was, it was still a huge step up from Boys In The Band, so I had it better than someone in the late 60s.

 

[jbmcdan]

or early '70's in the southern baptist bible belt. My heart aches for gay kids today -- but I have to think they have it a little better than some of us did, as you said if nothing else for movies and TV. (I'm amazed at some of the stuff on the LOGO channel My better half's nephew is 16, gay and understandably struggling, so we help him all we can with help and encouragement.

In my young .... days, I achieved at least a little self-awareness in those dinosaur just-post-stonewall days --

• -when public displays of affection were still a misdemeanor
• - when the only social outlet (bars) were regularly raided by the police, and you could
  be arrested for "public lewdness" if you tried to dance with your girl
• - when the cops actually enforced the ordinances about even your underwear...if you were caught (after you got to jail) wearing fewer than 3 pieces of women's clothing you'd get
  another citation for "public lewdness"...but we got around that (I'll never forget my dad borrowing my car and asking "why do you have a bra and pantihose in your glove box????")
• -when you could be fired from your job (no matter what type of job) for being seen in or
  even near a gay bar

I'm glad today's young people don't go through that kind of stuff...at least I hope they don't....

And i want to thank you all for allowing me to hang out here....I stopped going to bars years ago, and don't really have a lot of chosen-family friends in this town

 

[ScottinSoCal]

Yeah, we've got Logo, and some of it is almost unbelievable, even for a cable channel. Nude yoga? Really? And I'm married (not for long, but still) and have a security clearance with a defense contractor. That would have been unheard of 25 years ago.

But even regular mainstream TV shows that we're just regular people, not psycho killers or suicidal loners.

 

[tripleh3lix]

Yeah, we've got Logo, and some of it is almost unbelievable, even for a cable channel. Nude yoga? Really? And I'm married (not for long, but still) and have a security clearance with a defense contractor. That would have been unheard of 25 years ago.

But even regular mainstream TV shows that we're just regular people, not psycho killers or suicidal loners.

I was 18 (March of 08), my mom found out through a "source". I had it on my MySpace at the time, cause I just didn't care anymore and was planning to tell her. However, I told my older brother that December through a text. That next month my 18th birthday, I told my other brother *the one im closest to*. He didn't believe it, he was shocked. He's whatever about it now, but it was a good sigh of relief. However, that March, my mom freaked out cause I didn't tell her and she found out on her own through that "source". *sigh* it was probably my brother, or my grandmother. In any case, I'm out and happier than I was back then!

 

[Nighteyes]

I honestly am not a huge fan of Logo...it's really risqué what they have on there and just like watching other mainstream crap on TV, sets a very unrealistic view on what is acceptable, what is 'hot', etc etc..kinda like barbie dolls causing girls to develop eating disorders....omg I am 27 and talking like my .......n parents LOL. But ya, I wouldn't recommend a young individual just reaching out for the first time to watch something like Logo...it may give them the wrong idea haha. Then again, I haven't watched that channel in a while so I am not sure what they have playing on there these days..

 

[Uncle]

That all depends on whether you mean here on ECF or in Real Life . . .

And as my first post to this group on ECF, I guess you would say I'm "coming out" now to everyone who reads this post . . .

And in Real Life, that also depends, since I probably was never really in the closet - but only in the background and never had to admit to anyone that I was a homosexual . . . And not that everyone that knew me - knew, either . . . It was more of the times back then, in the early '60s with the sexual revolution and pre-"Stonewall" . . . In my youth/being a pre-teen (Yea - I'm an "older" man now and I was sexually active at a very young age) - at the time I was always looking to be with older boys and men . . . For me, it was harder coming to terms with a lot of other "stuff" that was happening in my life as a child and who I was back then - You know that old saying - "Finding Myself," that also included learning about what it meant to be, then realizing, and then knowing that I was a Homosexual way before it would have been considered "normal" for anyone to do so . . .

AND, "My Story" is really to long and "private" of a story for here and in such a public arena . . . What's more important, Nor - is "My Story" any different from so many millions of Homosexuals everywhere - it's just "My Story" . . .

Now, that doesn't mean that it wasn't just as hard or that I still didn't have to go through what most every other person did back then - it was just different for me . . . Back then NO one "came out" you were either a Homosexual (BAD - Very BAD and not actually the "term" or description that was used) or Not . . . And, if anyone knew - everyone knew (and then you might have had the S*it kicked out of you or beaten half to death, if not harassed everywhere you went as a "F*G" or "Queer" - Which actually, happened to me a few times throughout my life) . . . that is until "Stonewall" happened . . . And then becoming and being "GAY" (BTW, did not stop the hatred, beating, etc. from happening as many of you already know) was starting to become the "norm" and people began "Coming out of the Closet" so to speak . . . Anyway, I think that is enough for now . . . And that's my attempt to answer your question, in hopefully - in some humorous way . . .

Also, it is my way of jumping in here to say Hi!, introduce myself, and to let you know there is another one of "US" here at ECF . . .

Well, other than that, just to let some of you who I haven't meet in other threads know, I been around ECF for a very short time (compared to so many other people) and am just starting out trying to get the hang of "vaping" (for the past few months and haven't yet ) . . . Which, at times seems to be even more difficult than it was "coming out" . . .

And, I hope to be around & about for a while . . . So once again - HI, Everyone ! ! !

I’m “Uncle” and I am not only addicted to my habit of “smoking” – I am “Gay Homosexual Man” who is just learning the ropes and trying to make the “Transition and into the Vaping World” . . .

 

[tybin]

HI there Uncle

 

[trichman]

Hey Uncle. Welcome! I read your posts on the SI forum thread and never would have guessed it. It's always good to know there are more of us around. Have a safe trip back to Fl.