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How old were you when you came "out"?

Discussion in 'Gay Group' started by TxTrouble, Feb 10, 2010.

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  1. BiancaMontgomery

    BiancaMontgomery SQUIRREL! Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Jan 27, 2010
    North Carolina
  2. jbmcdan

    jbmcdan Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Feb 24, 2011
  3. Zapp and Roger

    Zapp and Roger Super Member ECF Veteran

    Jul 28, 2010
    Dayton, Ohio
    Oh NOES!!! :D Still a great thread...
  4. lynleestar

    lynleestar Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Sep 13, 2010
    NW Indiana
    I wanted to like every post in this thread but thought that would be a little bit overboard :lol:

    Great, heart wrenching stories~! I'm not gay, but I know that because I MADE SURE it wasn't for me :lol: <--- I came back and edited out the "pervy" smilie because it was a little too.... uhm, pervy backing up that sentence! :shock:

    Uncle, please take this as the good natured giggle that I intend it as; every time I read a post from you I picture Phil Hartman on Saturday Night Live doing the caveman laywer skit :lol: i'd like to think you use air quotes when speaking as often as you do on the forum :D
  5. lynleestar

    lynleestar Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Sep 13, 2010
    NW Indiana
    okay, I stand corrected...I just looked up an unfrozen caveman lawyer video and he didn't even use air quotes once! Don't know who the air quote person is {or even if there is one}, but you're no longer a caveman lawyer in my mind :lol:
  6. Uncle

    Uncle ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Well - Back home to a real computer and can now respond . . . :)

    THANKS ! ! ! I really appreciate the warm welcome and comments :blush:, especially at first I thought the thread might have “died” :( and I didn’t think anyone was going to comment or respond to the post that I left . . . However, I’m glad to see that it is still active . . . And I’m glad I was able to bring a couple of people over here who might have never looked into the group . . .:)

    And, Yes - WE ARE – “Everywhere” & “Anywhere” . . . Always have been . . . However, to some – both homosexual & heterosexuals alike – that is still a surprise, because you never “REALLY” know who might just be right next to YOU – or right in-front of your eyes . . . Right – “trichman”? ;) . . . And that in itself is what is so ironic and humorous . . .

    From back in the day (OH BOY – did I just say that :facepalm: ), it was the same . . . Matter of fact, in the mid 60’s – at the tender young age of 13/14 years old – I was one of people who belonged to the hippie generation protesting the undeclared war in “Vietnam” while fighting the battle here in the United States to bring our soldiers home, was struggling to understand and “Find myself,” and as part f the “sexual revolution” at the time – No one really “Knew” – that is unless you were having sex with them (and man/boy was that a diverse crowd ;) ) . . .

    At the time, I was also part of Gay Activist Alliance (GAA) in NYC that just was starting up in the old firehouse on West 4th Street and a part-time “street-youth” hanging out at the bars & where I shouldn’t really be . . . And although “Gay” activism was just starting before the “pre-stonewall riot”. . . Things were so different for homosexuals then (as a number of people have already mentioned). I, like so many others were, was not only part of the action – I was living the history that ultimately lead to the beginning of the new political movement of being “Gay” for Homosexuals and the ability for individuals then and today to “come out of the closet” . . . Talk about a sexual revolution and coming out of the closet, especially the 70’s and 80’s (but that is another LONG STORY – not for print here :D ) . . .

    Since then the inroads we as a group have achieved are many, however there are still even more advancements that have yet to be established or accomplished yet within our own communities – let alone society at large – be the in the "Real World" or on-line. As others have also noted in their personal stories – IMO – the first and most important achievement for anyone – is being able to “come-out” to ourselves . . . By first, understanding who we are as a person and then our own acceptance to who we are as an individual.

    Anyway, last – but not least, first – Thank you – “lynleestar” – for no longer thinking of me as the “Caveman Lawyer” (Hopefully, I’m just a little cuter than he is – even at My “old” age) . . .

    As for the “air quotes” – Who does that ? ? ? ? Yes – ME ! ! ! :facepalm:

    However, since most people do not get it – let me explain, especially since it seems that a few people do not understand why I use quotes:

    1) First and foremost – when I am quoting someone else’s words – DUH ! ! ! :rolleyes:

    2) Why I use quotes around someone "supposed" or "made-up" name . . . It has been my experience all these years, that People normally, on the Internet do not use their real name/s - so I use quotes, when I speak about them or use the name that they provided in their post . . .

    Hey - I know you don't think my real name is "Uncle" - Do You ? ? ? ? (Well that is - not unless you are one of my many Nieces/Nephews, or Great Nieces/Nephews, or even my Great - Great Nieces/Nephews . . . Yea - I have that many and I'm not even "OLD" enough to have any of my own - at least none that I know of, yet) . . .

    Oh well - that is why I quote Names . . .

    3) And the quotes around other words . . . is mostly when I want to use them as a double entendre, or even when I want to say something almost "toung-in-cheek" or with a touch of “GAY” “sarcasm”. . .

    Hope that explains it all about my use of quotes . . .​

    OH – Yea and although I have explained it before and defended myself also in a blog post . . . Just in case anyone is bothered by “My Guy – ‘Fluff” as someone who has been so bothered by them and without-a-doubt has been so rude about it has now labeled it . . .

    The actual reason I use “smiley” and “emoticons” in my post . . . Right now, I’m not doing to well getting “On-board” and Transitioning into the “Vaping World” . . . the way I feel emotionally, mentally, & physically, especially with my “anxiety” and being so "frustrated" about "vaping” and still “smoking” View attachment 53795 , using “similes” and “emoticons” is the only fun I'm having at the moment . . .

    So, please forgive a "Grumpy Old Man" like Me . . . View attachment 53798 for trying to have a little FUN ! ! !

    YES View attachment 53788 - I am a "Newbie" at "Vaping" and “e-Cigs” – I really haven't been able to start full time yet (and have even stopped a couple of times).

    View attachment 53790 I am still learning a lot of stuff about the process, equipment, etc. that's why I'm here a lot . . . Also, I find the "Socializing"at ECF quite pleasurable and very helpful to calm my "anxiety" & "frustration" trying to find that WOW!!! View attachment 53797 flavor and learning what I need to get into all of this . . .

    So while I may not be a "true" newbie on the site ;) - I am still l new to all of this . . . :)

    Hope that explains it all for ya . . .:D
  7. lynleestar

    lynleestar Vaping Master Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Sep 13, 2010
    NW Indiana
    You use quotes and smilies as much as you want~!!

    I sympathise with your struggle to quit smoking; I was on the forum over 6 months before I finally quit. The 28th of this month I'll be 6 months smoke free, and it was not easy!! What really helped me was higher voltage vaping. 5v is wonderful~!

    If you ever have any questions don't hesitate to ask~! :D
  8. lion6255

    lion6255 Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    May 8, 2011
    Central Virginia
    I'm not sure I never really made an announcement of any kind. I was married had two children, husband died and things kind of went crazy drinking and experimenting and such. Then I met some wonderful loving people and went in that direction. I'm on my third relationship and we have been together for 11 years. Family and all my friends are very accepting and loving. My parnter family not somuch at first it took the family a little while to warm up to me but all is well now.
    I'm so very happy to see that the younger generation now is much more accepting and non judgemental.It is the older closed minded people that want to judge everyone and everything.

    I started a new job a few years back and one of the younger guys there asked me point blank so I guess it kind of shows :)
    New to VAPING and am in my third month. I doing pretty good there really loving it.
  9. tybin

    tybin ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Sep 17, 2010
    congrats on your third month of vaping:)
  10. Vagablonde

    Vagablonde Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Sep 1, 2010
    California via Norway
    was 17...and when i finally told my mom she was like...yeah grams and i talked about you being gay when you were 7...mercy...and they made me wait for all those years before i figured it out...cruel cruel cruel!
  11. Vagablonde

    Vagablonde Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Sep 1, 2010
    California via Norway
    uncle..its all and name quote all ya want...guy fluff is good too...just hang in there with the gets easier
  12. McVapor

    McVapor Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Nov 6, 2009
    Seminole FL
    Today I came out to my College on 'Coming out day'. They bring out a freestanding door that you walk out of to symbolize coming out :). This was also my first meeting with our GSA group. I feel great right now! Like so much pressure off of my chest. (It was different coming out to my mom than it is my own peers.)

    Wanna hear something freaky? I suffer from chronic daily migraines and since the day I told my mother that I was gay my migraines have reduced by at least half. Thinking back, I started getting migraines around the time of my first boyfriend and when I first discovered that I was gay (more than curiosity). Perhaps this whole thing is a coincidence but if my migraines clear up now that I am completely true to myself and 'out' I will be amazed :O. But I shouldn't get my hopes up of course ><
  13. debb

    debb ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Aug 12, 2010
    in the nj woods
    well, I hope it works...:)
  14. Uncle

    Uncle ECF Guru Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Welcome to the "Party" . . . View attachment 57245

    Well - I'll Keep "My" Hopes Up for YA' Then . . . ;)

    View attachment 57244
  15. McVapor

    McVapor Super Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Nov 6, 2009
    Seminole FL
    Thanks guys for your support! My friends really made coming out easy. I was nervous about telling one friend too, thinking he would defriend me, but ended up being really supportive! lol
  16. trichman

    trichman Ultra Member ECF Veteran

    Jul 8, 2010
    Right on Uncle! I had to come out in the south so I didn't officially announce to family until age 20 after I was divorced. They all said they knew. My daughter, now 40 is totally cool about it. I hi-tailed it to LA when I graduated college at 23 in '73. Wild times ensued for a few years until my partner and i got together in '76. We were best friends from college back in AR. Celebrated 35 years in April. Then in the mid-80's we lost about 30 friends to AIDS and that was hard on us 30 somethings. Now that we vape, we hope to have many more years together.
  17. Foxfur

    Foxfur Senior Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Jan 3, 2012
    Portland, Oregon
    I came out (Bi) at 40 to my wife. She's very cool with it and encourages me to play. I haven't had one negative reaction from friends or family, not one...
    I'm glad this group is here. I'll be stopping in regularly!
  18. pixilator

    pixilator Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Nov 28, 2011
    I don't think I was ever really in the closet completely. Started coming out to close friends in 8th grade, so I guess around age 12 or 13. I told my family at 16 (where I was subsequently told it was a phase and I would grow out of it).
  19. pixilator

    pixilator Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Nov 28, 2011
    I ended that Last post kind of abruptly. I'm 25 now and my mom is great about it. I think it helps that most of my friends are gay, so she's exposed to it a fair amount. I was out to people I knew well in early high school, but it was a strictly Catholic HS, so I wasn't completely open about it (I mean, my parents would kill me if I got kicked out without a tuition refund), but freshman year a "concerned friend " decided it was best if the administration and priest knew. This started weekly "counseling" sessions that I had for the next two years. Thinking back on it, it seems a bit odd that my parents were never informed of this.
  20. beartard

    beartard Senior Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    I first told a friend when I was about 25. Up to that point I had a hard time admitting to myself that I am gay. I grew up in the South where it seemed all the gay guys either moved to the city to come out or committed suicide. The only gay guys I had ever seen were the stereotypes. I couldn't identify, so I just shoved it under the rug for years. I wish I had come to the realization sooner. I think my life and relationships would have been so much better if I had.

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