Make us Laugh!!!

[popeye79]

Popeye, I was offended at the arrogance of your post. I apologize, I did not intent to come off that way.Without specifying a target audience Actually I did specify a target audience, in the very beginning of my post. you imply to any reader that you have a greater cultural awareness and sensitivity than they do. You establish by virtue of your own words your own sort of "racism" whereby those that are more traveled or aware are greater than or better than those who are not.Never did I imply any such thing. I don't think I'm better than others. You're being a bit ridiculous here.

And then you have the gall to post three jokes that are offensive:

1.) I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

***I am Christian. This is offensive to me because you are insulting my God and implying that God is other than ineffable.*** How so? I'm a Christian too, so what. How is this in ANY way insulting to God, or insinuating that God is not ineffable? The joke speaks about the person steeling the bike, not God.

2.) Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

***I am a man. I find this offensive as you are belittling a man's role in a relationship. I personally have a very loving and giving relationship with my wife. I do not, nor would I ever, fake a relationship. You are perpetuating a stereotype.*** I have a healthy, loving relationship with my wife too. You are right, though. So I'm sorry.

3.) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

***My brother has a learning disability. He has only read one complete book in his life. His vocabulary is very small. In conversations he often lapses in "drunken party" language because that is when and where he is most comfortable. To many listeners, he comes across as dumb. What would you call my brother if you were to hear him?***Sorry about your brother, the joke is not referring to him though.

You see, if you say that you can't say "those jokes" because they offend people or yourself, then you can't tell jokes. Otherwise, you are merely a hypocrite.You're reaching, and I mean really reaching, and being pretty petty, just to try to prove a point. But you're right, I will not tell any more jokes.

But I would NEVER think it appropriate to start ranting about it in a joke thread. I did not start the "ranting"

pointless to point out jokes that offend you. You're a police officer, I come to you asking for help.. "what is it?".. "I need help"... "yes, but with what?"... "I can't tell you, but I need help". If it's never pointed out, than it can never be made an example of, and nothing will ever change. The point is to NOT “keep the hate alive”" as you and Morander so eloquently put it, by NOT telling off-color jokes. if you guys walk around having to be careful everywhere, I feel sorry for you guys. You're right, we shouldn't have to "be careful". we shouldn't have to deal with racism at all. The human race is just not that advanced yet.

OK, I'll bite: Nah, You only think they are racists, and that's why they continue to exist.
(Help! I think I just divided by zero)

Racism still exists because there are people who think everything is racist. They can't let it die.... They give way too much power to words.... It's just a word. It amazes me how we are supposed to be the country of free speech but we want to censor people....
…..
Are there racist groups out there, yes.... Why do they still exist because most of society can't see people for who they are but what they believe, color of skin, gender, etc.......

So you're saying that racism does exist, but only because people get offended, when they’re being discriminated against?

I have a really funny joke, but not sure I should post it. I don't want to offend anyone Don't be like that Dee. I'm sure you know very well if you're able to share it or not. And if not, why.

This all started out as a very simple request, to think before you type. I think everyone needs to chill. I'm not trying to take away anyone's freedom of speech. I just want people to realize that some people may be offended by certain types of jokes. Weather you think it's offensive or not.


Analog and pmos69: Thank you for understanding.

 

[popeye79]

Well...I think I really screwed up my anniversary.

I came home after a long day. When I opened the door, there was my wife, totally naked but wrapped in saran wrap...I said "ugh, leftovers again"

There's a divorse waiting to happen! Funny stuff.

 

[MichelleDen]

A simple request would have been to state a reguest.. if you get what i mean... You told valdrak his input was crap and if he didnt get it, he shouldnt tell jokes... So looks like you want to be the police..
To joke about a mexican jumping a boarder is racist.. to joke about a mexican word is not. If you cant see that i feel sorry for you.

What i mean with you spreading, the very thing you try to stop, is this: I serously doubt any mexican ladys will se that joke and go, oh that reminds me of my boarder jumping days, now im sad... But seeing what you wrote in your first long post, will make them remember.. And make some go: oh i should be offended here? Because it is just words you give them more power by copying and spreading and highlighting and talking about them. If YOU hype such things, others will follow, spreading negativity.

YOur police analogy has no place here. It has nothing to do with what we talk about, its a comepletely different scenario, and wtf are you thinking. You didnt ask for help. You belittled the other person. ANd jokes are not illegal, no one is hurt, other than people who cant see the diff between hateful jokes and reg ones...
My personal opinion:
Joking about the holocaust----not ok.. Joke about jews and their money skills or something like that-----ok
Joking about Germans killing danes---not ok.. Joke about a danish word----ok

Why cant they be in jokes, just because something terrible happened to them? Dont joke about their hard ship, but include them in the fun..

Can you seriously not see the difference?? YOur own joke about God will be seen as blasfemy to some people...YOu put it on an open forum.
I got all wound up because you were acting so rude, thats it, comming off as if you think you are smarter, just because youve travelled.. thats basically what you said..

Im not some cruel cold ..... without sensitivety to others troubles. I just think you stir up, the wery thing you want to get rid of. Of course rasicm exists, but dont live by their rules.. Not here. If you are walking down the street and 3 mexicans come and threaten you.. by all means dont tell them a joke about them.. I wouldnt..

 

[pmos69]

You forgot your joke...

 

[Morandir835]

Let me put it this way to you Popeye sir, as long as there are groups and individuals who view everything as racist all they're doing is perpetuating racist views.... I'll put it this way Popeye sir,you are christian according to your previous post... How would you feel if I was to take your disagreeing with my pov on comedy as only because I'm a satanist? Sounds pretty dumb right? Tights like that cause these racist, religiosist, sexist, etc. groups who just keep discrimination going by thinking everything is discrimination.....

Ms. Michelle I can't agree with you on that, everything can be made fun of. There are no boundaries in comedy.... A joke is a joke which is a joke, whether or not you think it's funny our offensive is up to the individual.... I would post one of my favorites from Ronnie B, but I'm not dealing with the backlash from this group....

 

[MichelleDen]

Off course its still a joke even if its offensive or hateful.... I just have my boundries as to what i percieve as ok, like everyone else... But if you posted your Ronnie B joke and i thought it offensive, i certainly wouldnt be rude too you, because of it. I would do onto you as i wish you to do onto me( is that right way of saying it?)

Pedro i dont know any more jokes and my com gave me a warning when i went to google some...

Heres a joke for you: I love MODS.... haha

 

[Morandir835]

I know you wouldn't Ms. Michelle, but others would... If "racism" gets them this upset, don't even want to know what another r worded joke would do....

 

[MichelleDen]

One more lost to censorship.........oh well, just how it is then i guess....

Pmos, really cant think of any now...

 

[Gardner808]

"Never did I imply any such thing. I don't think I'm better than others. You're being a bit ridiculous here."

"My world has been culturally diverse for a long time now, but it wasn't always so. People who never left where I'm from still say racist things, and they don't even realize it. It's normal to them, as I'm sure it's normal to you. It's just how you were raised, the culture you come from, and you don't know any better."

Here you establish your credentials as being culturally diverse and that you have changed from what you once were based on the culture of your birth and upbringing. You further establish that bigoted behavior is the norm for that locale and that your target audience (which you specify as anyone who tells racist jokes) considers it normal as well. You also state that they don’t know any better. This clearly implies that the “you” is ignorant of what you consider preferred behavior, as you had escaped that sheltered norm.


"I'm sorry but you're just dense, immature, and ignorant to the world around you. Just because you think people should have to have thicker skin, because you do, doesn't mean they have to."

Here you further establish the position that telling racist jokes means that someone is dense, immature and ignorant. While you do apologize, you once again further establish that the behavior of telling racist jokes is the position of someone who is lesser. This is inferred directly from the notion that NO ONE would want to be thought of as any of those things. So, anyone who disagrees with you must ALSO be dense, immature and ignorant. This firmly establishes that YOU are in a superior position, at least morally in your mind, to them.

"I've lived all across this country, and been all around the world. Just noticing that there ARE different cultures from the one you know, is very hard. That first understanding, of what culture actually is and means; it's an eye opener. If you could understand this, you might be a bit more sensitive to it."

Here you again establish your credentials as being a world traveler and cultural connoisseur. You also state that noticing other cultures and understanding what that means is hard. But you were able to pierce this cultural-perception-barrier. You completed a task that you consider hard while others have not. Once again reinforcing the notion that you are in a superior position relative to the audience because you have crossed a line that they have not yet reached.

"If a joke is just a joke, then why wouldn't a court of law agree with you? Guess what? On the internet, EVERYONE is overhearing you. Not smart."

Telling racist or off-color jokes on the internet is not smart. You again insult your audience.

"Get mad at me if you want, but that's just how it is. Take the blinders off, stop trying to defend yourself, and actually try to imagine what it might be like for the people who find these types of "jokes" offensive."

You then perform the classic maneuver of basically undermining anyone who could oppose you. You define how it is. That implies your position is unassailable and further you expect the ignorant audience to respond with anger. You then instruct the audience in what they should do, stated as an imperative. The implication is that your audience has on blinders, is defending itself and has not used their imaginative powers to understand what the recipient of a racist joke might feel. There is a further inference that they are “trying” to defend a behavior that is basically indefensible or not worth defending.

The problem I had with your post was that YOU did exactly what you accused THEM of. You generalized them. You took a behavior performed by a few and condemned it and ANYONE who did it. You assumed that you knew them, all of them, based on a few, and that YOUR behavior was superior because it was not based on ignorance or a lack of maturity, that you had experiences that YOU gave value to and that if your audience could just reach beyond their tiny, little worlds then they could have the enlightenment that you have already achieved.

The entirety of the post was rife with a self-righteous arrogance that separated people into two groups: you and anyone who told racist jokes or disagreed with you. There wasn’t even a “we” or “us”. By your own language you did not set out to create a unity of purpose, a coming together. You sought to firmly establish yourself as a moral authority on the subject and to differentiate your behavior and position as better or ideal while insulting and belittling your audience.

I say again, YOU engaged in the same behavior you condemned. If you had merely stated a request that people not tell those types of jokes then I would have had no comment.


***JOKE: How did the Germans take over Poland so easily? They marched in backwards and told them they were leaving.***

 

[pmos69]

One more lost to censorship.........oh well, just how it is then i guess....

Pmos, really cant think of any now...

Here's one for you then:

 

[MichelleDen]

Gardner thank you for taking the time to devide it all up like that..YOu once again hit the nail right on the head, regardless of wether you and I see jokes the same way or not. The point is how one treats others.
I dont think it would have been right to let someone act like that and not get drawn out to explain themselves. I only see one person acting ridiculous and thats the one pointing fingers at everyone else..

 

[starsong]

notice how the rest of the forum sort of died once this thread started? it used to be a fun place, now it's non-stop lectures.

 

[Gardner808]

I don't know that they are related, but I will withdraw from the conversation and maybe Red or Leaford will unstickie or delete this thread.

 

[redempti0N]

What do you call a cow that won't give milk?

A milkdud!


I hope I dont offend any Farmers.

 

[xoYOmamaox]

I actually got tired of reading this post with all the drama There will always be somebody trying to up the fun for everyone else i personally like jokes all kinds and dont think i could be offended by anything joke related thats the point and for anyone that thinks they might well this is probley not the place they need to be reading its a choice to read this forum. DONT GET ALL JESSIE JACKSON ON ME PEACE

 

[pmos69]

 

[FreakyStylie]

Found these instructions useful.

 

[pmos69]

Vende-se Primeiro-Ministro de Portugal - Comprar na Internet - #171362290

Translation: "For sale: Portuguese Prime Minister. Only 75 Billion Euros" (the size of the hole he dug for the country)

Any bids?

 

[analog]

Michelle, seems like you do draw lines, and apparently making boarder crossing jokes would cross that. Perhaps you don't see the association that the word esse is strongly associated with mexican gangsters. The wordplay is cute, but implies that all mexican children will grow up to be gangsters. NOTE, that joke doesn't offend me, but if you would see jokes about mexicans being illegal border crossers as offensive, maybe you just didn't see a possible negative association with the word esse? Anyway, I don't want to derail the thread further, if anyone wants to continue this conversation, feel free to PM me or maybe start a new thread elsewhere. We have all expressed our opinions, nothing wrong with that, I've enjoyed reading the views of all and I'm sure the sun will shine brightly here yet again....

So, I like reinventing jokes, and several of you have liked my attempts here, but I'm largely recycling "us vs them" jokes of the racist or nationalistic ilk and subbing in modders or riV4L's. Should I have a better category for "them"? Surely the jest hasn't offended our riV4L's like morandir, but still not sure it's the best. Maybe I'll try one with smokers?

A group of people were at an outdoor picnic. The group was about evenly divided between vapors and smokers. The smokers were making a big stink cloud, while the vapors were trying their best to enjoy the picnic and their yummy flavors. All of a sudden a genie appeared and decided he was in a hurry, so instead of his typical routine he would grant one wish to the smokers, and one wish to the vapors. He turned to the smokers first, who after a brief consultation made the following request. "We just want to be able to smoke in peace without these holier-than-thou PC vapors whining about our smoke all the time. Just give us our own space with high enough walls to keep our smoke away from those brats where we can be left alone"
"Done" said the genie as he turned to the vapors.
The spokesperson for the vapors says to the genie "So, let me get this straight, all the smokers are inside those 50' walls which are smoke, and therefore airtight?"
"That is correct" replied the genie, "and what is your wish, I'm in a hurry."
"Just, fill their walls with RY4 juice and give us each a bucket!"

 

[analog]

I like that ctrl A thing, i'm guessing ya'll just make the color white?
My 9 year old just told me this one, finally passed the orange/banana knock knock stage!

How do you get Lady Gaga up from her nap?
(ctrl+A or apple+A)
Pokerface!