Thank you all for the support and good advice =) i realized a long time ago, none of us get out of this alive, the best we can do is love and live as long as we have.
When I was a child, there were large, hairy, maroon spiders that would creep in the window at night. At the time I had no idea they were probably after the bugs that came in the same windows, and they would freak me out hanging around on the ceiling waiting for a meal. In the morning they were gone, and my parents wouldn't believe they had ever been there. I missed a lot of sleep lying awake watching them up there... One morning, I woke up screaming...in the night, one of the spiders had lost its grip, and fallen into my bed, to perish as I rolled over in my sleep. Finally my parents believed me! I slept with the windows closed after that, but have never gotten over the creeps of waking up amid spider bits.
Over the years, the spider fear faded til I was able to avoid them, although having one splat on me if I knocked it off a tree would send me into screaming fits. This progressed to stone cold spider killer, until we bought our current home. Now I give them that one chance to live...but only because having more mosquito bites than freckles is a good possibility in Wisconsin.