I have now met another criterion for running for office. Unpredictable and unreliable. I swear....
I set two alarms every day (and I check them every day) because I suck at time and always accidentally push buttons to make it an hour later, etc. Yesterday really sucked because I was actually changing my times from 5:40 am to 5 am. Getting ready to go back to work full time ya know.
So, I get this phone call at like 8:40 and it is my head boss. Keep in mind, I had no idea about anything other than "I am answering the phone." I have not drunk nor eaten anything, and like, I have vey dry mouth.
So my conversation went: "This is head boss and I expected you here in my office at 8 am?"
Me: (What?) "Whogrighbl?"
"I was expecting you here at 8 for the all provider's meeting, too."
(Me too! I too was expecting me to be there. OMG what time is it?) Blughth expecting mtuh tho up there Too! what THIME ythtois issstt?
Um it's 8:30.
(I think I was fairly clear with this sentence) OMG! I was resetting my alarms! I don't know what happened! This never happens. I am SO SORRY."
Well, can you meet tomorrow at 1 pm?
Bjtlioghth butlhths
What? I am having trouble understanding you for some reason. But, can you do that.
Wththereerr is rrrry office?
(Directions given)
I am sthhhho sorrrry.
Well, okay Bonnie and I want to understand what you are talking about. Are you coming in the rest of the day.
(Gulp.) (Faint....) I well, I... by the time I was ready to come in it would almost be time to leave,, I um, I could... But I'm not sure I should....
Okay. See you tomorrow.
I don't think I have ever felt like such a loser in my life. That's it. I am getting like, hard core on those benzos. Granted, I have to pick up a script for them and well, to be fair I guess the wouldn't have waited that long if they thought I was so unreliable and lame. But I am gonna start tapering like no one's business. I messed up my phone alarm by not hitting "Okay" and probably my other alarm will go off at 5 PM today (it's happened before.) This is the first time I have messed up TWO at once though.
I swear to GOD I would get the husband to call me, but that doesn't work. I am pavlovianly trained to wake up for those two alarms and those ONLY. Also I am not going to TELL him what happened as he will Freak Out if he finds out and surely I do him a favor by letting him freak out WHEN and if I am fired. That seems humane, although maybe I should... no.
Seriously head dude doc sound horrified much like if he were talking to the Loch Ness Monster or something.
I'm just gonna be honest about the meds, they're messing me up, and I'm tapering them.
I do think I have lost the ability to be all hard core about like, my evil coworker. I'm just gonna go in and let them tell me what to do. Maybe. I guess. Probably gonna have to play it by ear a bit.
I'd laugh but.... You know. Oh well happy more tapering here I come! I'm a bit miffed at my doc for being out of town for two weeks. I mean, he probably prescribed based on my benzo tolerance (with other benzos) which tends to be spectacularly high, for some reason, probably because I am an ultra metabolizer I have that copy of the extra gene. All my med doses are fairly high.
Sigh. This one, not so much I guess. It really does seem similar to alcohol (for me) because you feel pretty great as it is ruining your life. Etc.
Anna
