I bought groceries. No more
vape stuff for me today: I'm gonna try and relax.
You know, this SUCKS, like doctors never UNDERSTAND this. Lets say you have been on Ambien like for a LONG time and you quit it because everyone is like, "Oh no, DEEP RESTFUL SLEEP is BAD for the bipolar brain.... AND it's a scheduled medicine and blah blah."
So, you get through the detox and you have a goal and it's horrible and you do it Then you feel fine for about 10 days. THEN you like hit your bipolar BLIP and you are like LA LA LA LA LA I feel so GREAT HOLY GOODNESS everything is awesome (I mean things are mostly good yea) but it's like a BIT TOO much if you know what I mean which is one reason I told my pdoc he could have my temazepam in 3 months but before that over my dead body.
You try to explain. You are like, "It's like winning the lottery but your haven't. It's like you walk outside and the COLORS, the SOUNDS...." Mentally, they are like "Whatever, freak." Sigh.
WV is weird today. I think WV is worried Trump will die and the world will end (I kind of do agree that if Nancy Pelosi becomes the dang PRESIDENT well ah, things will end, like life as we know it_ there were HORDES of people at Walmart and all the shelves were bare. I had to go to Kroger's on my way home and like, well, their stuff is way better and if you
buy on sale .just as cheap.
It really reminded me of being in Russia standing in the snow for bread (yeah my ancestors chat with me) and I really want to take COVID and just, (in my husband's superhero dreams of us) DIVE RIGHT THROUGH it and kill it dead. I told my husband just now and he was like, "You are silly." I was like, "NO I AM DEADLY SERIOUS." So he was like, "Okay." I was like, "So you have lucid dreams so you can't get out of it and you have to report back. I have sequenced genes so like LET ME AT IT."
Sigh, I am going to chill then over exercise. I have not done much as far as cleaning up my clothes but MEH.; I nee to chill. Then do LOTS of yoga yep yep. Heh.
Anna