Although I'm still a newbie vaper, myself, whenever I offer assistance or make a recommendation to other vapers who ask for it, I always try to be careful to use the words
"this works for me" or
"this is what I like". And much of such commentary that I write is followed by
"but many ECFers are much more experienced than I am, so I usually defer to one or more of them in cases of opposing opinions".
With objectivity, knowledge is king. With subjectivity, regard for others is king.
But from what I've seen since I've been an ECF member, I haven't observed many cases of rudeness or disregard when help or recommendations are offered. Hardly any, in fact. Maybe they occur more often in ECF sub-forums that I don't frequent. (I.e., every sub-forum other than this one and the New Members forum.)
Most rudeness - or accusations of rudeness - tend to fall into one of three categories: (1) The respondent meant to be rude, (2) the respondent was inadvertently rude or (3) the respondent wasn't particularly rude at all, but the person who asked for the help or recommendations may seem to be overly sensitive to the "tone" with which the response is written. I think the last of those instances is the rarest, but it can vary widely depending on the average maturity of the participants, the nature of the topic at hand, etc.
There are way too many factors to consider... emotional sensitivity, intelligence, emotional maturity, size of ego (the Freudian "ego", not the vaping one)... Then there's the catch-all explanation when trying to define human behavior:
Everyone is different. I know, it's a cop out to even say it, but it does have the merit of truth.
Like everyone else, I think that I know rudeness when I see it. But I also know that I can be wrong. The culprit in most cases of actual rudeness in a response is the
level of pride of the respondent. Leaving pride at the doorstep would prevent more "nastiness" than any other tactic, in my opinion.
Since somewhere in my mid-forties, my sense of personal pride has yielded more and more to a sense of magnanimity. It's not that I'm no longer proud of myself, it's just that I believe I've learned how to recognize and avoid rudeness in my responses. Most of the time, anyway.
I wouldn't presume to say everyone should offer help the way I do. All I can say is that it works for me.
