And with that it’s time for me to shut this off for the day; good night lovely and handsome Lurkers 
Thanks Joey. Sorry it took me a bit to respond to your post. I needed to think. You are spot-on about the longer you're with someone the harder it is when they pass.
I still have rough days and some of those are rougher than others. I know you know that all too well. They have a tendency to come about on their own time, whenever they want and at whatever time of day they want. They are very unpredictable for me and I know they are for others who have gone through this too.
I've learned to embrace them, to be totally in-the-present with them and to just go with the flow of whatever they bring to the surface. I feel whatever I need to feel at the time and have learned that that is very healthy for me. I deal with it all to the best of my abilities. And I learn from them.
One thing I can say with certainty is that for me, my perspective on life, people and relationships has grown, and continues to grow, to beyond a level I ever thought possible. For that I am eternally thankful. My faith is strong.
Joey, if you ever want to chat, just PM me. I am a good listener.
I just sent her a PM.Pri’s passing hit several of us pretty hard, she was such a precious person and I loved her dearly. I’ve got pm’s from her that I can’t delete.
Carli is gorgeous! I have a special love for German Shepard dogs.
You should pm Redd, I’m sure she’d love to hear from you
All good SMTThanks Joey. Sorry it took me a bit to respond to your post. I needed to think. You are spot-on about the longer you're with someone the harder it is when they pass.
I still have rough days and some of those are rougher than others. I know you know that all too well. They have a tendency to come about on their own time, whenever they want and at whatever time of day they want. They are very unpredictable for me and I know they are for others who have gone through this too.
I've learned to embrace them, to be totally in-the-present with them and to just go with the flow of whatever they bring to the surface. I feel whatever I need to feel at the time and have learned that that is very healthy for me. I deal with it all to the best of my abilities. And I learn from them.
One thing I can say with certainty is that for me, my perspective on life, people and relationships has grown, and continues to grow, to beyond a level I ever thought possible. For that I am eternally thankful. My faith is strong.
Joey, if you ever want to chat, just PM me. I am a good listener.
Dale, Sara and a few others here know some of my story from a couple of years ago when I talked a little bit about myself back then.
Yes I agree with you on everything you mentioned. My dad died when I was 22, I went into a complete tailspin with alcohol and drugs for 10-12 yrs. I never really dealt with his passing until after I had major knee surgery in 2000 which ended my 1st marriage. I have been in recovery with some slips here and there for almost 20 yrs, right around the time I met Sue. It was also when I starting grieving for my dad, his passing had devastated me, but in my 30's I grew up and learned how to handle his death when I was sober. 35 years later the hurt is still there but I am still learning. When Sue passed away I was devastated again, the stress was so great I broke down and bought a 12pk of beer, took a few days to drink it than my 10 yr old daughter said no more drinking. I really did not need to hear it as I did not want to stuff my feelings down this time like I did when my dad passed.
I want my daughter to see me when I'm emotional and let her know it is ok to let those feelings out. She has not really shown or talked much when she is around us so it has me concerned. I am trying very hard not to push her into talking about what has happened as I do not want her to push us away and stuff her feelings down.
I am lucky enough to have my step-daughter Dannielle stay here with me to help me with my daughter. Without her being here I do not know how I would be able to handle being a single parent with the job I have. Starting this week my hours change to 12 hr nights until January.
I am trying to handle this the best way possible without the person who was my rock, best friend that knew how to calm me down when things got out of hand. I am learning not to react to quickly, to take a step back to think it out a little longer.
I have few things going on I can not get into just yet that throws a few curves into everything I have to deal with.
Good morning Lauren and lurkers
Ugggg Monday
I am sorry for your loss SMT.
Joey, just a thought....maybe talk to her pediatrician and see if they have a counselor/therapist she can “chat” with over the phone. I know this is on a totally different level but kiddo would get super anxious right before doing new things (soccer, getting on the bus the first week of school etc) he would work himself up to the point of being sick. He would talk over the phone with a children’s therapist and she gave him some really good pointers to help him. It was more convenient than going to the office because I could be making dinner while he was talking to her.
Ugggg Monday
I am sorry for your loss SMT.
Joey, just a thought....maybe talk to her pediatrician and see if they have a counselor/therapist she can “chat” with over the phone. I know this is on a totally different level but kiddo would get super anxious right before doing new things (soccer, getting on the bus the first week of school etc) he would work himself up to the point of being sick. He would talk over the phone with a children’s therapist and she gave him some really good pointers to help him. It was more convenient than going to the office because I could be making dinner while he was talking to her.
I highly recommend therapy, even chatting like Sara suggested. As someone who is chronically mentally ill and will be for the rest of my life finding the right kind of treatment is vital for getting through the tough times. Most therapy approaches these days like CBT and DBT are about changing how you approach the feelings and reactions to them, as well as building skills to cope.Good morning Lauren and lurkers
Ugggg Monday
I am sorry for your loss SMT.
Joey, just a thought....maybe talk to her pediatrician and see if they have a counselor/therapist she can “chat” with over the phone. I know this is on a totally different level but kiddo would get super anxious right before doing new things (soccer, getting on the bus the first week of school etc) he would work himself up to the point of being sick. He would talk over the phone with a children’s therapist and she gave him some really good pointers to help him. It was more convenient than going to the office because I could be making dinner while he was talking to her.
Good morning lovely and handsome Lurkers
It’s been a long time since it took me this long to catch up in the morning
Love it
It’s been a long time since it took me this long to catch up in the morning
Love it
Good morning DaleGood morning lovely and handsome Lurkers
It’s been a long time since it took me this long to catch up in the morning
Love it
you know when fixing coffee.....it kind of helps if you actually turn it on..set everything up, hit all the other buttons (turn off the grinder, only brew 1 - 4 cups), but didn't hit the power button
need coffee to be able to fix my coffee
Good morning JoeyGood morning everyone
Going back to bed I need more sleep
Sounds like it, sleep well!
set everything up, hit all the other buttons (turn off the grinder, only brew 1 - 4 cups), but didn't hit the power button
need coffee to be able to fix my coffee
You poor thing 
Burr! It’s 55 degrees and since we’ve been in the 80’s I’m feeling cold
I wish it'd stay around 55F year round. Im heat sensitiveBurr! It’s 55 degrees and since we’ve been in the 80’s I’m feeling cold
Oh I agree! The only reason it feels cold is because it’s been so warm. I dislike hot weather too but we sure get our share of it.
So I just got my Kylin Mini V2 set up and omg the flavor is so good. And with the airflow closed most of the way I get my restricted DTL that I like.
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