I'm sorry for your loss. So basically, find a common ground and build from that, ignore the small stuff. Got it, Val. You sound like another dear friend of mine, echo'ed the same thing to me in private. Oh yeah, and Lisa, what you said is useful. Atleast to me.
Val does have a point....if my dad had passed away during that 11 year standoff, I'm not sure how I would feel. I am better now having contact with him...and knowing that we were able to find that common ground and get along. We are brutally honest with each other and from that, have built a trust again in each other. Like I said....I'm pretty sure I am the one who did the most changing. I guess I just got to a point where those "triggers" don't affect me anymore. I wish I could just give you the simple answer, but I can't. Cutting him off is what I had to do for myself. I am just thankful I didn't lose him along the way.