I haven't had occasion to have such an encounter yet. But since I'm usually good at coming up with responses
after they do any good, I've given it some thought.
If the person actually assaulted me or looked like they might be prepared to do so, then I probably wouldn't use the following. But if the person in question is just a self-righteous busybody, then I plan to say: "Thank you. I'm not smoking. It's actually an inhaler. Here, let me show you a copy of the prescription [reaching into my pocket]."
Here's my rationale. First of all, the first words out of my mouth are "thank you." They expect to be thanked for their selfless service to society. They think they are doing good. They don't expect the thank you to come from
me, but they believe their actions warrant thanks. So I give it to them, which immediately catches them off guard.
Next, I tell them that it's an inhaler, which is perfectly truthful. I was, indeed, inhaling from in only seconds ago, and he even saw me, so it's undeniably true.
Then, I make a request. I ask him to "let me" show him a copy of the prescription. I'm not exactly being untruthful. I never said that there was, indeed, a prescription. I simply ask his permission to show it to him. Suddenly, I have him in a very awkward position. I seem somewhat naive, and I also am doing my best to comply with his assertion of authority. It looks to him that I think he is some sort of undercover cop, or at the very least, an employee of the place I am visiting. In other words, he ought to realize that if he continues, and indeed starts reading the prescription, he is now in the precarious position of impersonating some kind of authority figure. One minute ago, he was just another zoo patron. Now, he's impersonating a zookeeper, and also standing around reading other people's confidential medical data, under the guise of his impersonated position. At the same time, he's apparently depriving me of some sort of critical medication while he stands there making his own review of my medical data.
At this point, I assume that he will tell me that he doesn't need to see the prescription. He'll probably think twice before he accosts some other person using some unfamiliar device.
If he doesn't react this way, then I need to up the ante somewhat. I reach into one pocket, and don't find the prescription. I check my other pocket and don't find it. So I announce that I must have left the prescription at home, in the car, etc. Because I'm such a law abiding person, I immediately offer to provide it to him immediately. Depending on the exact setting, I might point in the direction of the zoo office, and offer to go home and get it. I would address him personally, and tell him that I could give it to him at his office, again, pointing in the direction of the headquarters of the location.
At this point, he realizes that he's not going to actually see the prescription, even if his zealotry is such that he would like to personally review it. Instead, he realizes that I'm going to show up at the zoo office asking for him. But he also realizes that if he continues, he's really in a position where he's impersonating someone else.
I suspect that it this point, even the most extreme zealot is going to sheepishly tell me that they don't need to see the prescription. At the very least, they have to admit that they don't have any kind of official standing. If he doesn't sheepishly go away, I might start looking around for a cop or some employee of the venue, and ask them, "does this gentleman work here?" When they tell me he doesn't, I might then point out that he came up to me demanding to see copies of some of my medical records.
Of course, this won't work quite as well in some situations. First of all, if vaping actually is prohibited, then it could backfire. Also, if the person really did have authority, then it could also backfire. Also, it wouldn't work very well with a cigalike.
But I'm actually kind of looking forward to this encounter.
