Vaping around children

[Mrs C]

My children are grown or nearly youngest is 17. Out of the 4 one is a smoker (plan to work on that over the holidays). I won't while I'm holding the grandchildren, didn't smoke holding them or their parents either. I went outside to smoke at homes of the 2 that don't permit smoking in their homes. Their house their rules . vaping there not sure, I haven't inquired. I'll just step out like always with my son that smokes and have a lil chat with him

 

[WidowsSon]

My son is 2.5 and another on the way,

Studies or no studies I don't like any health implication around my son, but either way, I don't want him to see me doing anything that looks like smoking.

I'm more scared of him wanting to be like dad than inhaling second hand vape.

 

[aceswired]

So let's set aside the question of risk for a moment. Forget for a moment entirely the question of whether there is a risk, or how much. Let's look just at the voicing of opinions and whether we need to censor ourselves to protect the feelings of others.

Imagine you are on a cigar forum. The exact same question is posed, but with cigars instead of vapor. Now look at my post, and my opinion that smoking cigars around kids is selfish and irresponsible. Would you insist I not voice that as well?

Of course not. So if my thoughts on this matter offend a few, so be it. I have attacked no one. But there is nothing wrong with expressing them. Nobody is saying you have to agree. But if we can't even have open discourse on this for fear that ppl who do vape around kids will have hurt feelings, then the discussion is pointless.

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[EddardinWinter]

So let's set aside the question of risk for a moment. Forget for a moment entirely the question of whether there is a risk, or how much. Let's look just at the voicing of opinions and whether we need to censor ourselves to protect the feelings of others.

Imagine you are on a cigar forum. The exact same question is posed, but with cigars instead of vapor. Now look at my post, and my opinion that smoking cigars around kids is selfish and irresponsible. Would you insist I not voice that as well?

Of course not. So if my thoughts on this matter offend a few, so be it. I have attacked no one. But there is nothing wrong with expressing them. Nobody is saying you have to agree. But if we can't even have open discourse on this for fear that ppl who do vape around kids will have hurt feelings, then the discussion is pointless.

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I have insisted on nothing. I simply suggested you alter your delivery. Obviously, you don't appreciate the feedback, so I won't waste my time discussing it further.

If you feel the manner in which you say the things you are trying to say doesn't impact the effectiveness of your message, I don't think anyone's advice will change you anyway.

People are reacting to your tone. Nobody has censored you, so don't try to play the victim angle. You say "so be it" if you "offend a few", so you know it's abrasive, yet you act aggrieved somehow in your last post. You don't get to play it both ways.



Tapped out

 

[aceswired]

I am sorry I did not sufficiently sugarcoat my opinion. So let's stop trying. I'll be blunt. Smoking or vaping around kids is a shi%#y thing to do.

There. That's the abrasive version. Now all the adults can deal with it as they please.

 

[Myk]

I am sorry I did not sufficiently sugarcoat my opinion. So let's stop trying. I'll be blunt. Smoking or vaping around kids is a shi%#y thing to do.

There. That's the abrasive version. Now all the adults can deal with it as they please.

I didn't even notice your post until your defense of it. I find it easier that way because I know there will always be someone who doesn't use facts to back up their reason but offer an opinion to shoot down everyone else's.

When I first saw it I saw it as you saying for everyone it was selfish in irresponsible. Not defending your position with fact but attacking everyone else.
"Doing it with them there would be incredibly selfish and irrrsponsible."
No clarification that you were only applying that to you. But after you made that clarification I can see how you thought you were.
But then in your cigar analogy I'm back to thinking you weren't limiting that to yourself and you did intend to call anyone who thinks other than how you do "incredibly selfish and irresponsible". And now this. So why are you flip flopping?

The second hand smoke study that started this concept of not smoking around kids was lied about. The actual study concluded there was no danger. And not only that but it showed there was a statistically insignificant vaccine type response to the children of smokers exposed to second hand smoke.
But I guess since I have the facts on my side I don't have to resort to calling anyone "incredibly ________".

"Conclusions:
Our results indicate no association
between childhood exposure to ETS and lung cancer risk.
We did find weak evidence of a dose–response relationship
between risk of lung cancer and exposure to spousal and
workplace ETS. There was no detectable risk after cessation
of exposure."
http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/90/19/1440.full.pdf

Now your opinion is no longer based on ignorance.
Unless your kids have asthma or an allergy and are effected by smoke or vapor this is no reason to avoid doing it around them. Naturally if they have asthma or an allergy you would avoid doing things around them that triggered a problem, but you wouldn't avoid everything out of fear it may cause a problem.

The people worried about monkey see monkey do have more of a leg to stand on than you do. And they didn't attack everyone to stand on it.

 

[aceswired]

Somehow you failed to notice the sentence before the one you quoted. You know, the one with MY in capital letters?

Some don't like the message. So they ignore it and attack the semantics instead.

If I think smoking and/or vaping around kids is selfish, in what manner am I allowed to say so? How many hedges do I need before no one is offended. Please, tell me. Exactly what language could I use to express that opinion while offending no one?

Seriously. Phrase my opinion in an entirely offense-free manner. Show me how it's done.

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[Myk]

Somehow you failed to notice the sentence before the one you quoted. You know, the one with MY in capital letters?

Some don't like the message. So they ignore it and attack the semantics instead.

If I think smoking and/or vaping around kids is selfish, in what manner am I allowed to say so? How many hedges do I need before no one is offended. Please, tell me. Exactly what language could I use to express that opinion while offending no one?

Seriously. Phrase my opinion in an entirely offense-free manner. Show me how it's done.

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Somehow you fail to grasp that the sentence structure and the fact that that "my" is referring to the hypothetical risk does not say what you're trying to say it does.
You've made it clear in the latest posts that you intended to attack anyone who vapes around their kids. That is what you originally wrote so why the continual flip flop?

It's not that hard,
"I think doing it with them there would be incredibly selfish and irresponsible for me to do."

 

[WidowsSon]

Personally, I won't smoke or vape around kids, but aceswired.... it's not completely black and white...

what other irresponsible acts do we start picking at, where is the line drawn.. which vices.

Next thing you know your going to want me to stop having sex and doing coke around kids...

ok.. joking.. bad joke?... but I don't filter my humour to prevent others from feeling uncomfortable.

back on track....

What shall I do when someone is drinking pop around my children or eating too much... Personally I think it's a hell of a lot worse than vaping.

Unfortunately there's crap all around, and lots of people are way to sensitive these days. I prefer to stay incognito because society has shamed me into hiding, and I don't want my son thinking it's ok, he can make his own bad choices without having the inherent want to be like dad because he remembers me doing it when he was 2.

... am I saying anyways... just rambling on, stirring the pot, I'm bored.

 

[WidowsSon]

Hey Myk... is that a Daschund in your Avatar?

 

[aceswired]

I'm out. I never came to this forum to get into petty arguments. I got drawn in when I shouldn't have. My intent was to weigh in to the original poster, which I did. I hope he chooses not to do it around his kids.

I vape and read this forum to relax. Bickering and arguing about sentence structure and semantics is, surprisingly, not terribly relaxing. I stand by my opinion and hold to it, but am sorry to anyone whose feelings were hurt. I will not post further in this thread.

 

[WidowsSon]

Was It something I said....

 

[minimalsaint]

Was It something I said....

Yes. You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

[WidowsSon]

Yes. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Whatever it was, I won't do it around children.

 

[minimalsaint]

Whatever it was, I won't do it around children.

You would be a horrible person if you did. That is not my opinion on the matter- it's the facts.

Now pardon me while I fire up the 360 to play some Halo with my 5-year old son. I'm the worst kind of dad. I hear the video games turn them into little psychos.

 

[WidowsSon]

You would be a horrible person if you did. That is not my opinion on the matter- it's the facts.

Now pardon me while I fire up the 360 to play some Halo with my 5-year old son. I'm the worst kind of dad. I hear the video games turn them into little psychos.

No... worse, it turns them into little controller hogs who never let their dads play, this is why I (give him something that is not illegal in nature or has anything to do with drugs, really? whomever made the complaint, lighten up a bit, and I'll try to remember to stay within the "rules") and send him to his room.

 

[wv2win]

.................

So if my thoughts on this matter offend a few, so be it. I have attacked no one. But there is nothing wrong with expressing them. Nobody is saying you have to agree. But if we can't even have open discourse on this for fear that ppl who do vape around kids will have hurt feelings, then the discussion is pointless.

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Since you don't believe there is anything wrong in expressing your opinion that other people's perspective/actions on vaping around kids is selfish and irresponsible, then why are you acting like the poor little victim when we express our opinion that your "judgement of others" is full of BS? You can't have it both ways. (unless you can prove to us that you are "special" as the Church Lady from SNL would say)

 

[minimalsaint]

No... worse, it turns them into little controller hogs who never let their dads play, this is why I give my son .... and send him to his room.

At least he doesn't do it in front of you.
That would be bad mmmmmmmkaaaaay

 

[minimalsaint]

Since you don't believe there is anything wrong in expressing your opinion that other people's perspective/actions on vaping around kids is selfish and irresponsible, then why are you acting like the poor little victim when we express our opinion that your "judgement of others" is full of BS? You can't have it both ways. (unless you can prove to us that you are "special" as the Church Lady from SNL would say)

I'm special. My mom told me so.

 

[SimianSteam]

Personally I wouldn't vape around kids. Studies have shown that kids who are exposed to cigarette smoking when they're young are more likely to become smokers themselves. I know part of this can be attributed to second hand smoke, but I think the Monkey See, Monkey Do factor is part of it as well. As a responsible adult I won't do something that I think might make a child susceptible to a vicious habit when they get older.