I sorta like that one. It has a certain....weight. "Balls to the wall" is also descriptive.
what words annoy you?
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I sorta like that one. It has a certain....weight. "Balls to the wall" is also descriptive.
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This one nails it for me.. "ayyy yo!! Whurrr ya been at, fool?"
That was an example- it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!
GAHHH!!!
Can we submit names? I can't stand the name Mitt - especially when it's associated with an enormous robotic head.
Ah, another thing: "I could care less." Drives me bonkers!!
I couldn't care less if it does!
Now you've really got me going!!!
We were once 'auditioning' a web design company to create a new site, a job worth a considerable sum. I had given their website a thorough inspection and found one word in particular that made me cringe. I wrote on my notepad, 'if he uses the word *************' we will not use that company.
All was going well until he pitched for the big one by announcing, "We can productionise the whole site".
He didn't get the gig, but he was advised that his company should only produce websites and should certainly not invent words unless they are confident that they will be included in the next revision of the Oxford English Dictionary.
Management-speak, or Corp-speak, is a topic that deserves derision, along with its protagonists!
How can you indulge in blue-sky thinking in a cloud-based world?
Let's run it up the flagpole and see which dog cocks its leg up on it!
New Variant Media - a reborn Volkswagen from the 1970s!
I tried some 360 degree thinking and ended up back where I started!
He said, "Let's touch base tomorrow", I gave him a pitcher of Lemonade!
Our CEO said we must take idea showers, so my secretary and me stripped off
and a good one came up!
Our Boss said to keep him in the loop, so we formed a lynch mob and hung him!
I was going to try a cradle-to-grave approach but that could take years!
The Chairman said we must grab the low hanging fruit, I got slapped by a
well-endowed guy in a flowery shirt!
We were told the company was having paradigm shifts, I'd only just got used to working nights!
The HR Manager told me the company was moving into a phase of down sizing, I thought sorting feathers for expensive quilts would be much easier than welding!
The Boss asked if I knew the size of my carbon footprint, I told him "No, I drive everywhere"!
I've tried everywhere but even Ebay doesn't have a box of thinking I can unpack!
We were told to bring something to the table, I brought a pot of tea and a plate of biscuits!
I announced to the meeting, "A bio-interlude is essential for numero uno", I was busting for a pee!
The Boss said, "We must hit the ground running", I replied, "That's easy for a
knuckle-scraper like you"!
"We don't need to re-invent the wheel", "No, but we should have taken out the patent"!
"It's time to circle the wagons", "And we could use one of John Wayne's guns that
killed 6 Injuns with every bullet"!
"You can't fit a square peg in a round hole", "You can if your hole's big enough"!
"The situation calls for a greenfield operation", so I took him to the park and removed
the smile from his face.
I try not to get involved in mutually exclusive objectives!
"You must act when you see the window of opportunity", I did, I got sent down for six months!
"Have you ever been best-in-class?", "I once entered a dog at Krufts and came first"!
"Quality is a journey, not a destination", "When are we setting off?"
"Show me what you have in the pipeline", I handed him a nice Meerschaum!
"We need to find the single point of failure", "Try the bathroom mirror"!
"That's a good space to be in", "It's not a space, I'm in it"!
"I'm waiting for someone to come down from the mountain with the tablets",
"There's a drugstore across the street if it's urgent"!
"I think we'll make this a brown bag meeting", so I pulled out my bottle of Jack Daniels!
"My door is always open", so I nicked his laptop!
"Could I have a quick word?", "Velocity!"
"Let's give a big shout out to Winifred, returning so soon after her breakdown",
so twenty of us jumped up and screamed "WINIFRED!!!"
"We need everyone to buy into this", "I thought you paid us?!"
"Are you capable of utilising variant workstreams to complete client deliverables?",
"I once put a letter in an envelope and posted it!"
"Keep this on your Radar", "Radar? I've only just got a SatNav!"
"Long time, no see", "Well no, you're blind"!
"High level accessibility will involve establishing new multi-platform formats", "I'll get the ladders"!
"We seem to have an elephant in the room", "Sorry, canteen Chilli"!
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to shoot the puppy", "Could you not just spank the monkey?"!
"Who's going to swallow the frog?", "Could I start with a few tadpoles?"!
"Let's knife-and-fork-it", "Just fork it!"
"We're going to have to jump the shark", "Oh no! I remember what happened at Krufts!"
"Is your business scalable?", "Yes, I'm a Fishmonger"!
“We need to keep going forward in order to achieve a win-win situation, while not
losing sight of our exit strategy.”, "You mean screw-em-and-run?!"
“Innovation is key to promoting synergy with our shareholders and clients.”, "I haven't a clue either"!
“We wouldn’t want to wrongside the demographic.”, "So stopping pi$$ing people off!"
I once attended a management meeting where a young marketing manager made the fatal mistake of addressing me with, "John, you must remember there is no 'I' in team", to which I instantly and uncontrollably replied, "No, but there is a 'U' in c***", at which point the whole meeting took a bio-interlude right there at the table!
Many years ago when I worked as Sound Engineer with a band, we had a way of dealing with any of the band or crew who were bulling us, someone would start counting 1-2 and by the time we got to 3 everyone joined in and followed it loudly with "....... Off!!". It always worked!
My favourite come-back, one which I first heard around 12 years ago and which has now been made famous by Mrs Brown, is reply to anything you dislike or think is bull with, "That's Nice", which is self-explanatory to those who have watched the UK TV series Mrs Brown's Boys. To those who haven't, here's the link: That's Nice, Caution, contains strong language.
I enjoyed that!
John
We were once 'auditioning' a web design company to create a new site, a job worth a considerable sum. I had given their website a thorough inspection and found one word in particular that made me cringe. I wrote on my notepad, 'if he uses the word *************' we will not use that company.
All was going well until he pitched for the big one by announcing, "We can productionise the whole site".
He didn't get the gig, but he was advised that his company should only produce websites and should certainly not invent words unless they are confident that they will be included in the next revision of the Oxford English Dictionary.
Management-speak, or Corp-speak, is a topic that deserves derision, along with its protagonists!
How can you indulge in blue-sky thinking in a cloud-based world?
Let's run it up the flagpole and see which dog cocks its leg up on it!
New Variant Media - a reborn Volkswagen from the 1970s!
I tried some 360 degree thinking and ended up back where I started!
He said, "Let's touch base tomorrow", I gave him a pitcher of Lemonade!
Our CEO said we must take idea showers, so my secretary and me stripped off
and a good one came up!
Our Boss said to keep him in the loop, so we formed a lynch mob and hung him!
I was going to try a cradle-to-grave approach but that could take years!
The Chairman said we must grab the low hanging fruit, I got slapped by a
well-endowed guy in a flowery shirt!
We were told the company was having paradigm shifts, I'd only just got used to working nights!
The HR Manager told me the company was moving into a phase of down sizing, I thought sorting feathers for expensive quilts would be much easier than welding!
The Boss asked if I knew the size of my carbon footprint, I told him "No, I drive everywhere"!
I've tried everywhere but even Ebay doesn't have a box of thinking I can unpack!
We were told to bring something to the table, I brought a pot of tea and a plate of biscuits!
I announced to the meeting, "A bio-interlude is essential for numero uno", I was busting for a pee!
The Boss said, "We must hit the ground running", I replied, "That's easy for a
knuckle-scraper like you"!
"We don't need to re-invent the wheel", "No, but we should have taken out the patent"!
"It's time to circle the wagons", "And we could use one of John Wayne's guns that
killed 6 Injuns with every bullet"!
"You can't fit a square peg in a round hole", "You can if your hole's big enough"!
"The situation calls for a greenfield operation", so I took him to the park and removed
the smile from his face.
I try not to get involved in mutually exclusive objectives!
"You must act when you see the window of opportunity", I did, I got sent down for six months!
"Have you ever been best-in-class?", "I once entered a dog at Krufts and came first"!
"Quality is a journey, not a destination", "When are we setting off?"
"Show me what you have in the pipeline", I handed him a nice Meerschaum!
"We need to find the single point of failure", "Try the bathroom mirror"!
"That's a good space to be in", "It's not a space, I'm in it"!
"I'm waiting for someone to come down from the mountain with the tablets",
"There's a drugstore across the street if it's urgent"!
"I think we'll make this a brown bag meeting", so I pulled out my bottle of Jack Daniels!
"My door is always open", so I nicked his laptop!
"Could I have a quick word?", "Velocity!"
"Let's give a big shout out to Winifred, returning so soon after her breakdown",
so twenty of us jumped up and screamed "WINIFRED!!!"
"We need everyone to buy into this", "I thought you paid us?!"
"Are you capable of utilising variant workstreams to complete client deliverables?",
"I once put a letter in an envelope and posted it!"
"Keep this on your Radar", "Radar? I've only just got a SatNav!"
"Long time, no see", "Well no, you're blind"!
"High level accessibility will involve establishing new multi-platform formats", "I'll get the ladders"!
"We seem to have an elephant in the room", "Sorry, canteen Chilli"!
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to shoot the puppy", "Could you not just spank the monkey?"!
"Who's going to swallow the frog?", "Could I start with a few tadpoles?"!
"Let's knife-and-fork-it", "Just fork it!"
"We're going to have to jump the shark", "Oh no! I remember what happened at Krufts!"
"Is your business scalable?", "Yes, I'm a Fishmonger"!
“We need to keep going forward in order to achieve a win-win situation, while not
losing sight of our exit strategy.”, "You mean screw-em-and-run?!"
“Innovation is key to promoting synergy with our shareholders and clients.”, "I haven't a clue either"!
“We wouldn’t want to wrongside the demographic.”, "So stopping pi$$ing people off!"
I once attended a management meeting where a young marketing manager made the fatal mistake of addressing me with, "John, you must remember there is no 'I' in team", to which I instantly and uncontrollably replied, "No, but there is a 'U' in c***", at which point the whole meeting took a bio-interlude right there at the table!
Many years ago when I worked as Sound Engineer with a band, we had a way of dealing with any of the band or crew who were bulling us, someone would start counting 1-2 and by the time we got to 3 everyone joined in and followed it loudly with "....... Off!!". It always worked!
My favourite come-back, one which I first heard around 12 years ago and which has now been made famous by Mrs Brown, is reply to anything you dislike or think is bull with, "That's Nice", which is self-explanatory to those who have watched the UK TV series Mrs Brown's Boys. To those who haven't, here's the link: That's Nice, Caution, contains strong language.
I enjoyed that!
John
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Toboggan. But only in reference to hats. I know it's apparently Southern lingo or something, but even after 12 years of living in the south it makes me pause for a minute. Because in NJ a "toboggan" is a sled, not a hat. I get it, but dang.
Bugs me when someone is losing an arguement and cuts the other person off with "whatever!"; they could either be gracious and say "you're right", or at least be honest and say "f**ck off"
That sounds like every conversation I have with my father. LOL!
But it could be worse... they could go back to just calling you a Nazi for whatever your opinion is.
it makes me want to scream (and sometimes I do) when people confuse "mortify" with "horrify"...
"I was mortified when my neighbor had a wreak" WHAT? why are you embarrassed that your neighbor had a wreak? NO. you are horrified!
I also hate the word "panties"
"I was mortified when my neighbor had a wreak" WHAT? why are you embarrassed that your neighbor had a wreak? NO. you are horrified!
I also hate the word "panties"
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