Depression

[Friend of Atlas]

Woo hoo... The Thanksgiving day craziness is OVER! I'm pretty happy right now. I clean and organized almost everything in the house in 2 days! I finally unpacked those last three boxes from when I moved 5 years ago... It was great too, the boxes had all my beloved books and several framed photos of the boys when they were little and super cute! My house looks more beautiful then it ever has. What a good feeling and such a relief from the disaster it was. Now to keep it this way

The boys (mostly the 11yo) were super helpful and I really made them work hard. I paid the 11yo $20 and the 9yo $10. Mostly because they both helped me clean my room and the disaster of a back porch (couldn't walk in it without being scared 8-o).

My mom joined us for Thanksgiving, but my Dad went to my cousin's for Thanksgiving becasue he's mad at my son. Lovely guy, really what an ......, but it was more enjoyable w/o him!

I hope everyone else had a nice Thanksgiving

 

[jj2]

I'm envious cause my house is a bit topsy turvy right now. That's because I did get my Xmas stuff out the other day and now it's a bit scattered but I got the tree up. After I got the turkey in, I worked on the tree about twenty minutes or so and then took a break which is why, after fixing the big dinner, I'm not exhausted!!!

The rest of the Xmas stuff will be put in place before Monday and it will take that long since I got to dust and wash windows as I go.
Then I'll be happy with my house and will lean back and enjoy Santa day.

 

[Friend of Atlas]

I'm envious cause my house is a bit topsy turvy right now. That's because I did get my Xmas stuff out the other day and now it's a bit scattered but I got the tree up. After I got the turkey in, I worked on the tree about twenty minutes or so and then took a break which is why, after fixing the big dinner, I'm not exhausted!!!

The rest of the Xmas stuff will be put in place before Monday and it will take that long since I got to dust and wash windows as I go.
Then I'll be happy with my house and will lean back and enjoy Santa day.

Christmas - whaa! I haven't even thought about the tree! I barely let my 11yo bring out the Nutcracker for Thanksgiving. I don't usually confront the Christmas Season until about Dec 10th.

Though I do get the candy for the advent calendars by the 1st. It's not christmas unless you can open little boxes every night for a treat. This year I may try to include little taoist sayings with each candy - I know, good way to confuse the kiddies, but I want them to be well rounded LMAO - seriously though, there are some good peaceful lessons to be learned from the Tao - AND it's one of the books I finally managed to unpack yesterday (or very early this morning...).

How's everyone else doing? I hope today was not too stressful or crazy. Sounds like your on top of things jj. Even if the house is a little shambly - you managed to get your Christmas presents out and your tree up!! Pretty impressive stuff all while your serving T-day dinner.

BTW- Congrats to jj on winning the 15ml juice T-day contest from TheVaporRoom!! Yay - that's gotta make you feel warm and fuzzy.

 

[Nyxie]

Sounds like we had good days today. Mine was good. I cooked everything and then my Mom came and ate and washed the dishes.

She didn't realize when I asked to use her home depot credit card, that my dish washer was really broken. She thought I was just being a spoiled brat and wanted a new one. All the current one ever really did was rinse them, after I washed them by hand.
Everything seems like it is breaking around here at once. I think the person I bought the house from 6 yrs ago put the cheapest crap and tile in here to say "new appliances" and tile. Now the dishwasher doesn't wash. The dryer doesn't dry. The oven broke in Sept. At least hubby could repair that.
We borrowed her card last week during a great sale and no finance charges for 18 months. We got a new washer / dryer and dishwasher. It is being delivered tomorrow. I guess I will have no excuse not to get the clothes out of the dryer now. LOL
Now if only I could borrow her credit to get a new car LOL. We both got divorce credit from out crappy ex's and it isn't great yet. So the car will have to wait. It is getting depressing not being able to go anywhere without asking to borrow my Mom's car or waiting for Dave to get home. It is kind of messing with my co dependence crap in my head. But hey after tomorrow I wont have to wash my dishes before I wash my dishes. And maybe my clothes will be dry when the little buzzer buzzes.

 

[Nyxie]

Oh ya I need to put the tree up. I don't want to but I have a 4 yr old who thinks it is necessary LOL.

I'm envious cause my house is a bit topsy turvy right now. That's because I did get my Xmas stuff out the other day and now it's a bit scattered but I got the tree up. After I got the turkey in, I worked on the tree about twenty minutes or so and then took a break which is why, after fixing the big dinner, I'm not exhausted!!!

The rest of the Xmas stuff will be put in place before Monday and it will take that long since I got to dust and wash windows as I go.
Then I'll be happy with my house and will lean back and enjoy Santa day.

 

[jj2]

Nyxie

Four is such a wonderful age. The little darlings are just sooo excited about Xmas and they see things in such a beautiful way.
In a few years that will change---and then that four year old will turn into a teenager.

j/k about the teenager (sort of). I was lucky and my two gave me very little trouble and I really did enjoy those years.

This time of year is when it depresses me a little that my one and only grandchild does not live closer. I'd love to be woken up by her in the wee hours of the morning and see the excitement dancing in her eyes and her bouncing off the walls.

 

[Nyxie]

Nyxie

Four is such a wonderful age. The little darlings are just sooo excited about Xmas and they see things in such a beautiful way.
In a few years that will change---and then that four year old will turn into a teenager.

j/k about the teenager (sort of). I was lucky and my two gave me very little trouble and I really did enjoy those years.

This time of year is when it depresses me a little that my one and only grandchild does not live closer. I'd love to be woken up by her in the wee hours of the morning and see the excitement dancing in her eyes and her bouncing off the walls.

I don't think you are kidding about the teenager thing LOL I have 3 of those and a 23 yr old. The 4 yr old is the last of the bunch, so I know what you mean. The tree will go up if I like it or not LOL.

I dread the day when they are all outta here and on their own. Ok well not really, but I know it will seem weird here after having the house full of kids for all these years.

 

[Friend of Atlas]

I don't think you are kidding about the teenager thing LOL I have 3 of those and a 23 yr old. The 4 yr old is the last of the bunch, so I know what you mean. The tree will go up if I like it or not LOL.

I dread the day when they are all outta here and on their own. Ok well not really, but I know it will seem weird here after having the house full of kids for all these years.

Ooo, I only have two kids, one's a tween, but a very respectful one (yay). The 9yo boy is already looking for porn sites, so I have to keep my eye on him 8-o. BUT I WANT MORE OF THEM. They totally drive me bonkers, I ignore them too much, they destroy the house, they miss the toilet when ...... regularly, they are super noisy and fight all the time, and I'm going broke trying to keep them safe and fed, but I still want more. Just need a guy to help on that front

 

[Nyxie]

We have his mine and ours Mine are all girls 23, 14 and the ours is 4. My Bonus kids are 15 boy and 17 girl. At one time all of them lived here with us, then his went to their Mom for a year, now his daughter lives here. My 23 yr old lives next door at my Mom's house.
I really can't complain at all about any of them, they have all been great kids Thank Goodness. Of course we have our days but everyone does. My biggest complaint right now is the 4 yr old trying to act like she is old enough to hang with the big girls all the time.

 

[poisonette]

I need a female moment to scream and cry in frustration and have no where to do it. Forgive me. Why is it that little things bug us the most?

Tried to order my husband's speciality prescription from CuraScript. Just took over the nice little PrecisionRX 2 months ago. Miss them.
So... the letter stated everything would be the same, continue to use the old website, old phone number etc., everything would be easy. Old website takes me to new website. Have to register. Great. ID# or SS# aren't accepted, system can't find him. I call and find out he needs an assigned ID# from CuraScript. Great. Get the stupid #, enter it, finish registering. Get to the refill page with his complete history and all of them say "Please call to refill". UGH!
Ok, call # to refill, follow prompts, first 3 tried stupid computer can't recognize the beeps. Keeps hearing double beeps. UGH! Stupid cell phone. Call # on another phone, follow prompts, enter info as asked for, etc. "This request requires a speciality services" person. O.M.G! Are you serious!
Talk to a no personality human and she fills the script no problem.

Thank you. Hope everyone had a nice holiday. I'll be back after I quiet down a little.

 

[jj2]

I don't blame you one bit---I hate computers on the other end of the phone.

RW has a big problem every time he has to call in for his meds through the VA. Then sometimes, after he gets through the auto system, and he gets a real live person, that real live person forgets to relay the message to his doctor for his refills. He's on some major pain killers and there has been times he has got his refill late. When it's late it means he is in big time pain and when there is none around to take, he gets the shakes and the sweets---basically withdrawal--expected after taking some form of painkiller for 20 years. And this whole thing is nuts and I do believe they don't give a damn.

Anymore there isn't too many places of businesses that don't put you through this ordeal. Anymore I just keep punching 0 until it gives a person.

TracFone is the worst. I don't have to often but when I do have to call them I cringe. And the biggest part of the problem is the people on the other end are from another country and understanding them is just about impossible. WHEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM, THEY GET ...... OFF!!!

And the thing is, on Monday I have to call my cable company.8-o

 

[Nyxie]

Ugh that is so very frustrating!

I need a female moment to scream and cry in frustration and have no where to do it. Forgive me. Why is it that little things bug us the most?

Tried to order my husband's speciality prescription from CuraScript. Just took over the nice little PrecisionRX 2 months ago. Miss them.
So... the letter stated everything would be the same, continue to use the old website, old phone number etc., everything would be easy. Old website takes me to new website. Have to register. Great. ID# or SS# aren't accepted, system can't find him. I call and find out he needs an assigned ID# from CuraScript. Great. Get the stupid #, enter it, finish registering. Get to the refill page with his complete history and all of them say "Please call to refill". UGH!
Ok, call # to refill, follow prompts, first 3 tried stupid computer can't recognize the beeps. Keeps hearing double beeps. UGH! Stupid cell phone. Call # on another phone, follow prompts, enter info as asked for, etc. "This request requires a speciality services" person. O.M.G! Are you serious!
Talk to a no personality human and she fills the script no problem.

Thank you. Hope everyone had a nice holiday. I'll be back after I quiet down a little.

 

[Nighthawk]

I love turkey leftovers. We never have enough! It's been pretty ugly around here. I have 5 kids from 15- to almost 2. The oldest is psychotic with some major behavior issues. I'll be glad when they all get more grown up and maybe I can stop being a referee 24/7. I don't want to put up a tree, but I'm going to have to. ugh! I always ask if we can cancel xmas every year, but I always get outvoted. bleh..... way too much 'family togetherness'.

 

[Nyxie]

I love turkey leftovers. We never have enough! It's been pretty ugly around here. I have 5 kids from 15- to almost 2. The oldest is psychotic with some major behavior issues. I'll be glad when they all get more grown up and maybe I can stop being a referee 24/7. I don't want to put up a tree, but I'm going to have to. ugh! I always ask if we can cancel xmas every year, but I always get outvoted. bleh..... way too much 'family togetherness'.

They won't let me cancel it either and whine when I ask for help with the tree. I uave asked for opinion of where to put the tree for 2 days now with a bunch of I dont cares and one, why camt we ju hang picture of one up and be done with it. I would definitely not have a tree if the 4 yr old wasn't here.

 

[jj2]

Nyxie you can always get one of those wall trees.

Ew, bad of me, but it would be a compromise. They come decorated, you can hang them on a wall because it's only a half tree!!!

I feel out of whack here---I love Xmas. That is the decorations and the lights.
I do hate the commercialism. I guess that is why I go to such lengths to have most of my shopping done.

I love giving presents to a point and the ones I give are useful stuff---mostly anyway. That is getting harder for my kids.
Of course the one exception is my granddaughter which I love to spoil to death.

The one thing I can't get in the mood for this year is Xmas cards. I might just follow suit and send an electric ones.

 

[Friend of Atlas]

I love turkey leftovers. We never have enough! It's been pretty ugly around here. I have 5 kids from 15- to almost 2. The oldest is psychotic with some major behavior issues. I'll be glad when they all get more grown up and maybe I can stop being a referee 24/7. I don't want to put up a tree, but I'm going to have to. ugh! I always ask if we can cancel xmas every year, but I always get outvoted. bleh..... way too much 'family togetherness'.

They won't let me cancel it either and whine when I ask for help with the tree. I uave asked for opinion of where to put the tree for 2 days now with a bunch of I dont cares and one, why camt we ju hang picture of one up and be done with it. I would definitely not have a tree if the 4 yr old wasn't here.

NO TREE!? You really have to work on your follow through with those big 'kiddies' Nixie. They wine and moan, but if they don't help there is no tree, period! I'll let it sit out on the front porch until Christmas if necessary (two years ago it was out there until Christmas Eve)! Then last year I had NO problems . I love the tree for the fabulous smell. The house smells so delicious when you first walk in, Mmm.

You guys should both put your feet up (metaphorically, of course), grab some hot apple cider (maybe a small snout of peach schnapps), and let your family pitch in. Once they do something, anything, you can get up and help out here and there, but if they want the specialness of Christmas they need to put some effort into it. This may be hard, you may want to remind them, or cast hints out here and there that Christmas is approaching, but if you let it go and ignore it, they may come around.

I don't know if this will work for you, but it definitely did for me. By Christmas Eve two years ago they were begging to help and they were enthusiastic about it too. We played Christmas Carols, danced around, and ate cookies while we decorated and everyone was happy and felt happy to help one another.

Warning: This plan only works if your not anxious about a 'deadline' and can be OK with it if they don't help out until the last minute. They will think you will cave and you just can't! This also doesn't work for things that have to get done in a timely manner

EDIT: Nixie, I am not suggesting the 4yo be expected to help too much or take any initiative in decorating, but if the rest of the family is so unenthusiastic, maybe you could do something special for your daughter (like a mini-tree in her room or something, that you and her decorate together), but leave the rest of the mopers to be sullen by themselves. Just putting it out there. Don't let them bring you down - Christmas can be fun and special, especially when you celebrate it with little kids!

 

[Nyxie]

Yes I was thinking about letting the baby have a mini tree in her room. Maybe I will get it for her and we can decorate it and if no one else bothers to bring up the tree again santa will have to drop their presents in her room lol.
I hate to bring up religion here but it does have to do with it. We are not christian but my family is and it seems like we are supposed to celebrate with everyone else in the family.

 

[Friend of Atlas]

Yes I was thinking about letting the baby have a mini tree in her room. Maybe I will get it for her and we can decorate it and if no one else bothers to bring up the tree again santa will have to drop their presents in her room lol.
I hate to bring up religion here but it does have to do with it. We are not christian but my family is and it seems like we are supposed to celebrate with everyone else in the family.

Says who? You have your own family, celebrate in a way that makes you feel happy and Christmassy! Though I would definitely ease into this transition over the course of a few years for your own benefit...

 

[Nyxie]

Says who? You have your own family, celebrate in a way that makes you feel happy and Christmassy! Though I would definitely ease into this transition over the course of a few years for your own benefit...

That is exactly the problem over here. No one else is transitioning. When I moved to fl I had one 16 yr old and one 8 yr old we didn't uave a tree the first yr and we were all good with it. We celebrated Yule. Then I met my husband who was athiest and had raised his kid that way, but they were all about the commercialism of christmas and the tree and all that. I told him I celebrate Yule and he was ok with that but was confused at the same time lol. He put up a tree for his kids who were 9 & 13. He is no longer athiest and follows my path. But, it just keeps on especially now with the baby. She knows about christmas, not yule yet. I have been trying to get yule celebrated around here for years now. It just never works. It is hard when only one person wants a change.

 

[Friend of Atlas]

That is exactly the problem over here. No one else is transitioning. When I moved to fl I had one 16 yr old and one 8 yr old we didn't uave a tree the first yr and we were all good with it. We celebrated Yule. Then I met my husband who was athiest and had raised his kid that way, but they were all about the commercialism of christmas and the tree and all that. I told him I celebrate Yule and he was ok with that but was confused at the same time lol. He put up a tree for his kids who were 9 & 13. He is no longer athiest and follows my path. But, it just keeps on especially now with the baby. She knows about christmas, not yule yet. I have been trying to get yule celebrated around here for years now. It just never works. It is hard when only one person wants a change.

Yeah, when it comes to things like holidays, you really need family support to make these kinds of changes work. I don't know anything about celebrating Yule (but I will be looking it up now), but is there any way to combine the two and transition that way? Maybe have a regular tree this year, a smaller one next year, and then the year after that no tree, kind of thing. Hopefully it's not offensive suggesting trying to combine the two, as you say, religion can be a sensitive topic.

EDIT: I just briefly read about celebrating the Yule, and I think I could really move towards that with the boys. I think this year I will explain it to them (after I so some more research and reading that is) and we'll move away from the more traditional Christmas. My parents are VERY Catholic, but that has never stopped me before! Neither boys are baptized, I feel that's a choice they should make after they are educated and can form their own opinions and beliefs. I'm all about Christmas because of the spirit of the season, rather than the commercialism of it. I don't think I could so without the smell of pine in the air, but there are other ways of accomplishing that without planting a tree in the house!

What's so funny about letting the boy's follow their beliefs where they want is that I have one in Catholic School who loves it. The other is in public school and sings at the Anglican Church on Sunday's. They go to two separate churches by choice and I have never encouraged or discouraged either. It amazes me sometimes what choices kids will make if we let them! (of course, I can't discount the fact that my parents try to influence them ALL the time 8-o)!