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Emerald City Comedy Central

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rickstar009

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Jan 6, 2009
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CAN YOU SOLVE THIS RIDDLE?????


You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (the ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?


Get your drunk @$$ off the merry-go-round!!
First! thing i would do is give a quick call too and have alittle chat my local member, because Africa escaped and landed in the states, tsk 8-o ..

Second!! ..sh*t my pants and pray:shock:


hmm, that's a tough one Jo, let me mull that one over for abit:)~Rick
 

walkman4169

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Feb 24, 2009
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south warren
First! thing i would do is give a quick call too and have alittle chat my local member, because Africa escaped and landed in the states, tsk 8-o ..

Second!! ..sh*t my pants and pray:shock:


hmm, that's a tough one Jo, let me mull that one over for abit:)~Rick
ok we can change that to a roo and a koala
 

BiteMe

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Mar 31, 2009
1,431
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Stanwood, WA
I flat out stole this joke fair and square......:p


A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest
little lisp, between two missing teeth,

"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
he's on her level and asks,

"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack
wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her
knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

"I don't think my python weally gives a thit."




Thanks Sheila Lynn;)
 

BiteMe

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Mar 31, 2009
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Stanwood, WA
Barak Obama and a secret service agent are taking a stroll when they come upon a little girl carrying a basket with a blanket over it. Curious, Obama asks the girl, "What's in the basket?"

She replies, "New baby kittens," and she opens the basket to show him.

"How nice," says Bush. "What kind are they?"

The little girl says, "Democrats."

Obama smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on.

Three weeks later, Obama is taking another stroll, this time with Newt Gingrich. They see the little girl again with the same basket. Obama says, "Watch this, Newt; it's really cute." They approach the little girl.

Obama greets the little girl and asks how the kittens are doing, and she says, "Fine." Then, smirking, he nudges Gingrich with his elbow and asks the little girl, "And can you tell us what kind of kittens they are?" She replies, "Rebublicans"

Abashed, Obama says, "But three weeks ago you said they were Democrats!"

"I know," she says. "But now their eyes are open." :lol:
 

Kendra

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Mar 21, 2009
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Nashville
Barak Obama and a secret service agent are taking a stroll when they come upon a little girl carrying a basket with a blanket over it. Curious, Obama asks the girl, "What's in the basket?"

She replies, "New baby kittens," and she opens the basket to show him.

"How nice," says Bush. "What kind are they?"

The little girl says, "Democrats."

Obama smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on.

Three weeks later, Obama is taking another stroll, this time with Newt Gingrich. They see the little girl again with the same basket. Obama says, "Watch this, Newt; it's really cute." They approach the little girl.

Obama greets the little girl and asks how the kittens are doing, and she says, "Fine." Then, smirking, he nudges Gingrich with his elbow and asks the little girl, "And can you tell us what kind of kittens they are?" She replies, "Rebublicans"

Abashed, Obama says, "But three weeks ago you said they were Democrats!"

"I know," she says. "But now their eyes are open." :lol:

Awwww. . . I love Republican kitties!

http://www.libertybellepublishing.com/MissKittyExcerpts.html
 
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The Wiz

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ECF Veteran
Feb 14, 2009
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Me too..... the other thing that I love is your new avatar!!

YOWZA!!!!!!!! The temp in here just went up a few more degrees than it normally does when you enter the room!!:pervy:
BM.......Those Fairy's are notorious shape shifters!!.....It does seems a bit warmer in here to me also!!!:DThe Wiz!
 

BiteMe

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Mar 31, 2009
1,431
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Stanwood, WA
Wow!!1 it's boring in here today...

Maybe if I tell a few jokes somebody will show up to laugh...

OK.... here goes...

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?<

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday. :p
 

BiteMe

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Mar 31, 2009
1,431
2
Stanwood, WA
Well....
It looks like I'm the only person that enjoys a joke now and then.
There doesn't seem to be anybody here at all for that matter! So I guess I'll keep telling jokes to myself until somebody else shows up here. Maybe I'll wander down to the dungeon after awhile.. .......

Or not.....

Anyway.. Hey Bite!!!!

yeah?

Wanna hear a something funny?

Sure.... what is it?

Ya know how work can really suck sometimes?

Yeah, what about it?

Well....... Coming to work naked would definitely spice up the day, wouldn’t it? I wonder if you could get away with it on a Casual Friday. It would have to be on reaaaaaally casual Friday, wouldn’t it? You’d definitely blow that weird guy and his Hawaiian shirts out of the water. That shirt is hideous, isn’t it? On the upside, going to work naked means your shoes match no-matter what you’re not wearing….

So here are the top 10 reasons to come to work naked!!!

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ... in here by 8:00!”

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

LOLOL!!!!! Pretty good huh Bite?

Yeah... that wasn't too bad........ Lets go check out the dungeon... Maybe Vicks or Jo left some food down there............:(
 

BiteMe

Ultra Member
ECF Veteran
Mar 31, 2009
1,431
2
Stanwood, WA
OK..... Last one.
Then I quit.......


One fine sunny morning, the priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.

“What’s wrong with you?” said the priest.

“Well,” said the frog, “the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn’t always a frog.”

“Really!” said the priest. “Can you explain!”

“Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. ’Let me pass!’ I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you.”

“That’s an incredible story” said the priest. “Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?.”

“Yes” said the frog, “It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep would wake up a boy once again.”

“Today’s your lucky day!” said the priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,

“And that your honor, is the case for the Defense……. ”
:lol:

CYA!!!!:p
 
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