It's a Family Affair

[The Fool]

I was driving in the car yesterday thinking about some of the recent posts I've read here about kids who are turning their parents on to vaping. These posts have touched me deeply. I discovered, without realizing it at first, that I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

Almost 20 years ago I lost my Mother to lung cancer. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her. As crazy as this sounds, I think one of the things that has kept me smoking all these years was that she and I had been smoking buddies together, when I smoked after she was gone it made me feel closer to her somehow. I know though, that it tormented her in the end that in some way she had contributed to my addiction.

Dory (my Mom), would have loved this vaping thing so much, all of it, the flavors, the forum, Dad would have had to pry the laptop from her hands to make her sleep, "Just one more post Bill, I promise, then I'll come to bed!"

I am so grateful that I have lived long enough to see a viable alternative. Parents and their kids that are vaping together, please keep sharing those wonderful stories. I don't mind a little crying in the car...as my Mom always liked to say, "Tears wash the soul clean."

Happy Independence Day Everyone!

 

[geeker]

Very touching.
I completely understand.
I lost my dad to lung cancer 16 years ago when he was not yet 50.

 

[The Bobarazzi]

Nicely said.

I lost my mother, grandmother, and uncle to smoking.

Wish these were around years ago.

 

[rosesense]

That was beautiful, thanks for sharing.

 

[Upinthehills]

My mom (69 yo) has COPD, she quit smoking 12 years ago and still uses the nicotine gum she quit with. She has expressed a great deal of interest in vaping, but I have discouraged her. She has quit and inhaling anything into her already compromised lungs probably isn't a good idea. I would feel differently if she were still smoking.

My dad (74 yo) still smokes. I keep giving him pvs and refilling cartomizers for him. He is using his, but he's not really trying to quit smoking. Last week we shared a cabin while at a family reunion. His cough has changed, instead of the deep, rumbling smokers cough, it's now a shallower, but longer coughing session. A friend of mine died from lung cancer a year and a half ago, his cough sounded like my dad's now does. I'm worried.

After we came home I bought him another eGo. (He had lost one of the two I'd originally gotten him.) I also filled a bunch of new cartomizers for him. I told him he needed to try harder to quit. Who knows if it will do any good or not, but I know I'd never forgive myself if I don't try harder to get him to quit.

Anyway, thanks for telling us about your mom. You can probably tell you touched a nerve.

 

[prr2freya]

I bought my mom a 510 and cartos and I have promised to do all the maintenance even keeping her batteries going. I gave it to her a few weeks ago and she says she uses it, but she is still on the first carto and her first battery has not died yet so I know she only takes a puff once in awhile in front of me to keep me satisfied. Her husband, the gentlest man I ever met and who was was a wonderful dad to me died from a rare lung disease. Well he actually died from a failed lung transplant. I vowed to quit smoking to honor his life. He quit smoking several years ago but my mother did not and her 2nd hand smoke made things worse for him (for the last few years of his life he was on oxygen).. she did try a few times but nothing worked.

She promised me she would try before I committed to getting her the unit and promising I would always pay for everything if she would just give it a try. I know I can't make her quit so I am not pushing the issue, but we both promised we would quit the night Zen died. That was 2 years ago. It took me a year to start my journey, but then I found pv's and even though I fell off the wagon for awhile, I am now analog free. I wish the same for my mother.

 

[hecknaw]

Yep!! It saddens me when I think uf the aweful legacy dat I have brought upon 2 uf my 4 children dat has chosen to smoke after seeing their dad smoke fer so many years and now dat I have give'n Stinkyrettes up and they have seen dat E-Smok'n has worked fer me,they wont ebben give it a good try,saying nah dats not fer me!! Hell I'd even pay for it at no expence to them if'n they'd make the change!! yep!! I gots tears....Hecknaw

 

[brandon555]

My mom (69 yo) has COPD, she quit smoking 12 years ago and still uses the nicotine gum she quit with. She has expressed a great deal of interest in vaping, but I have discouraged her. She has quit and inhaling anything into her already compromised lungs probably isn't a good idea. I would feel differently if she were still smoking.

My dad (74 yo) still smokes. I keep giving him pvs and refilling cartomizers for him. He is using his, but he's not really trying to quit smoking. Last week we shared a cabin while at a family reunion. His cough has changed, instead of the deep, rumbling smokers cough, it's now a shallower, but longer coughing session. A friend of mine died from lung cancer a year and a half ago, his cough sounded like my dad's now does. I'm worried.

After we came home I bought him another eGo. (He had lost one of the two I'd originally gotten him.) I also filled a bunch of new cartomizers for him. I told him he needed to try harder to quit. Who knows if it will do any good or not, but I know I'd never forgive myself if I don't try harder to get him to quit.

Anyway, thanks for telling us about your mom. You can probably tell you touched a nerve.

Maybe get him to try a 510 atty or something. I know cartomizers sometimes just don't do it for long time smokers. If you could get him to try a 510 or something with a real good throat hit he might take to it better. He might not like the idea of refilling more often, but I dunno, anything to get him off those coffin nails.

 

[Upinthehills]

Maybe get him to try a 510 atty or something. I know cartomizers sometimes just don't do it for long time smokers. If you could get him to try a 510 or something with a real good throat hit he might take to it better. He might not like the idea of refilling more often, but I dunno, anything to get him off those coffin nails.

Maybe I should. I was going the carto route because of the lack of fussing with it for him. I know my dad is unlikely to keep trying something when it has to be messed with much. I did get him doing a taste test with me by dripping. (My preferred method.) I started him out with two regular 510's but he complained about the battery dying so he just put it down. (I also gave him a charger.) I don't know, I guess I just need to talk to him about it more to see what he now wants to try to do. I'm afraid that what he wants to do is keep smoking, though.

 

[WindSpirit]

Thanks for sharing your touching story and a Happy 4th to you too! Unfortunately my kids picked up my nasty habit, but I purchased them both pv's. We are now just one big happy vaping family, lol.

 

[The Fool]

I seemed to have hit a nerve here that I really didn't intend to. I was so busy reveling in the success stories that I failed to look at the other side. It IS very frustrating when your offer of help is ignored. Give it some time. Us smokers can be a stubborn, sorry, slightly stupid lot at times (especially when it comes to our cigarettes).

 

[Upinthehills]

The Fool, I'm glad you posted this. I told my folks the other day that this site is sort of AA for smokers. It's good for us to talk about these things with others that will understand.

Hecknaw, you made me get teary. Keep trying with your kids.

 

[zbasspro]

well...hello my friend! Very touching story....I have such a long story that it would take forever to type!
I lost my mom almost 5 yrs ago to lung cancer which led to her brain twice! and had them removed both times. But the one on the lung was inoperable due to the placement near her spine. She was a strong woman, worked up till the end, till it had finally paralyzed her from the waist down due to such aggressive radiation near the spine. That killed her more than anything, cuz she was so active, even in the pain she was in. She was only 49!!! I am an only child, she was a single parent = best friends...We did everything together...I expect some of me died that day when I told her it was okay to let go, that I would be ok (lie)...and put my head on her pillow, stroked and held her hand, telling her I loved her so much, that she did a wonderful job raising me, That I would be ok! as she finally took her last gasp of air. Then I finally let myself cry! It was the hardest thing I have ever done, not to start CPR. and keep her in her suffering and be selfish. so as I type this I am trying to hold it together trying to see the monitor through tear soaked eyes, and my nose running..some of my happy outgoing spirit died that day
I dont have that person, my best friend, that I called every single day, Hey lets take the boys to the park, zoo, store, walk, you name it we did it!
It has been hard for me, and I haven't been that wonderful mother again, or that friend to anyone else.
I lost my father to lung problems as well, we weren't close tho. I had only met him when I was 15.. and didnt have a close relationship. he was 49 aswell! I was also there when the life support was shut off. It was hard. but nothing like my mom! and she was there for me through that hard time!

My son smokes too, and we have gotten a 510 for him, but he wont take it seriously.. I think he sees it as a novelty more than anything.
I am sorry for this long post, but it was just pouring out of me. so I guess it needed to be done. I am so greatful for this forum and this new way of life that we call vaping. I hope it will keep my kids from having to watch my husband and I suffer the way my parents have!
Happy 4th to everyone, and be careful with those darn fireworks!! They scare me!
Missy

 

[Upinthehills]

You made me cry, Missy. I can see and feel how much you loved your mom. What a tremendous gift she gave to you.

 

[cliff5550]

As I read these incredibly human and touching stories, I began wandering how groups such as the FDA, ALA and others can be so vehemently opposed to a small electronic device that gives us so much hope for a better tomorrow. If they only knew. If they could only see the very human side of it all.

 

[rosesense]

I wonder if anyone has printed some of these stories and passed them on to the legislators/others?? I know the petitions are important but the human side is the most real, I think.

 

[classwife]

Beautiful, heart wrenching. I am working on my husband and mother, both are COLD to the vapor deal. I really have to try to be soft about it and just hope eventually.....

 

[prr2freya]

Beautiful, heart wrenching. I am working on my husband and mother, both are COLD to the vapor deal. I really have to try to be soft about it and just hope eventually.....

That is really the best we can do. If we get too forceful about it, the natural reaction is to rebel even further. But we CAN put the idea out there, and offer our support.. and best of all, we can be an example to them and maybe they will come around eventually. I hope my mother does before it is too late. And I hope the FDA and our government does not make it impossible to save our loved ones lives when they ARE ready to take that step.

 

[Automaton]

Wow, your stories are all so touching, some sad, some terrifying.

My dad's friend let him try her Blu e-cig. That was the second time I encountered an e-cig, the first time not having the resources to get one. I decided it was time.

I talked to my dad and he said he'd try it with me. He didn't say he'd quit, but...

He's 59. He's been smoking since he was 13, minus 7 years that he quit... for me. When I was a little girl and I begged him to quit. But he started again when I was 15.

My dad and I have always been really close. The latter half of my childhood was spent with him raising me by himself, and I was a real handful. I'm sure I nearly gave him a heart attack a couple dozen times. But he got there, and damn it, I think he did the best he could with what he had to work with.

I felt so ashamed the first time I had to excuse myself for a cigarette around him. I picked up the habit while I was abroad, after some really hard times. Stuff I never told him about. Still haven't.

But he never said a word. Soon we were smoking together. He never hassled me. I suppose he applied the same theory here that he had applied all my life - I am insanely stubborn, and the more you try to tell me what to do, the more I go out of my way to defy you.

Maybe he was right not to bother me about it. I'm 21. There's still lots of time for me. The damage can pretty much all be undone. And I really mean it this time - I'm not going back to cigarettes. I'm NOT.

So I got my e-cig kit, and bought a couple extra batteries for him. I'm ordering myself a PCC, since I still move around a lot, and giving him the charger. I fill his carts for him. I make e-juice for him.

I really want my dad to be around for a while.

He's ok now... all things considered. He has a nasty cough. But he's shockingly healthy, considering how long he's been smoking. Maybe the break did him some good.

But I can't help but wonder how long he'll stay this way. How long until his health really starts to go downhill?

He... hasn't really been trying. He puffs away on his e-cig when he can't be bothered to get up, but he still smokes a fair amount. He tells me it's 5 or 6 a day. I don't think he's telling me the truth. I think it's more.

I don't bother him about it. Returning the favor, I guess. Is that the right thing to do? I don't know.

I'm scared for him. Maybe it's part of him being relatively old, to have a child my age. My adult life has only just begun, and my father is already closing in on his senior citizen years. That scares me. I don't know if I can handle him getting really sick yet. I'm scared to lose him.

I'm scared of his cough.

But... even if he's probably not cutting back as much as he's saying he is, at least he's cutting back a little. That's a start, right?

 

[The Fool]

Dear Mistress, I understand that you want to give the same respect to your father that he gave to you in regards to smoking. However, if I were your parent and my child were having those feelings about me, I'd want to hear about them. There are ways that you can express your fears of loosing him without it sounding judgemental or controlling.

59 is not all that old. I know it may seem that way to you right now, but from my 54 yr old perspective, it's not.

If you let the love you have for him lead your way in the conversation I'll bet it would go better than you imagine. Please let us know if you do and how it goes. We're here for you.