Your resistance is lower, so your rope must be a little thinner. If you are having issues with it heating too slowly, the wraps might be too tight (getting a heatsink effect from the cable). You only need to compress the sleeve slightly for it to effectively supply juice to the coils. I don't think over-torching dulls the flavor... I torch mine a lot and flavor seems fine. Just torch it until it it glows and don't hold it in the flame any longer than that. And like I said, this can be done multiple times without negative effects IME.
My first attempt was a frayed mess as well, but I watched a video tutorial where the guy torched it a lot more than I was doing. After that it has been pretty smooth sailing.
EDIT: I think this is the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n83YTTDh-QU . I don't use the pointed mesh to slide it on, I just carefully open up the ekowool after torching it and slowly work the cable inside it. Just make sure there aren't any burrs or loose wires sticking out of the end of the cable. I believe I used a small file to smooth the edges. The other thing is that I don't make a tiny sleeve section right away, I take a full length of ekowool, torch an end and get the rope inserted, then torch it again and cut it to size after it is on. Oh yeah, I should also mention that I cut it with toenail clippers. Scissors don't work very well for me. Lots of torching helps, just be careful not to burn your fingers.
