Yup, kinda. The husband and I are equal in our desire to self-immolate before we like, return to Tucson. Not only that (I really have decided I am NOT gonna like, work for anyone but myself ever again, the amount of SHEER effort I put into the last month and how it was dealt with makes me stabby) but it also makes me realize, if I could put in HALF the effort into my own tasks, such as making my own practice, I could probably be fairly successful and it's not like I don't have TIME, I do. So, I t kinda thought about that vs. my desire to enter into employment with another healthcare organization. They are all schizophrenic. But in any case, well, I'm done with it because you never know what you are going to get, just like Tom Hanks says only in this case it's not a box of chocolates, its a box of stool samples.
So I was like, "Lady you are just gonna have to get OVER it, and well, plan for some SUCCESS for yourself." Sure, I can do SOME telemedicine I'm sure but I ALSO want to do DBT and groups and whatnot.
So the husband and I were like, we could try to sell the house when it's finished and/or we could try to sell it then rent it and sell it later. Then, we could pick where we want to live in AZ (I am not leaving AZ because the fear and horror of transferring my license well, I guess I could look at states that have reciprocity I guess but somehow leaving the state, IDK moving is bad enough.
Only we were like, "We have to own SOMETHING," and we figured out some towns that would be decent where rents are low and land is cheap. I'm rather a fan of Snowflake or Show Low AZ. We are thinking "north" and also "close to Phoenix, instead of close to Tucson."
That way if anything tragic ever happens, like, we COULD live on a plot of land with enough amenities in a trailer if we had to," and I have been looking and found some lovely, lovely 5-8 acre plots for not a lot at all. I am pretty sure my mom would help me with that part if needed, because like, she really DOES want me to be happy and I don't think it would be a huge deal for her, etc.
So yeah, in the meantime, I could get going, and I could go slow but steady and we could slowly but steadily insert needed items like well, a whatever it's called when you don't have a sewer (kind of expensive) and figure out either rainwater collection or a well and when we are ready do what we want house-wise, because by then I bet we could get a mortgage if I really decide I want it.
I was looking around the house (we haven't even unpacked most stuff it was supposed to be temporary) and was like, we don't have enough respect for ourselves. It has more been a "holy goodness I am SO exhausted type thing" on my part but I think things clean and orderly will be a good start. I'm going to take it easy today though because everyone keeps telling me too, and I haven't had such a day yet, The husband and I are ALSO going to chill, get things together, and go on some road trips to visit towns and properties, etc,.
It could work out great, man.
And holy goodness I am leaving at my husband's next PTSD meltdown WAY sooner. He was like, a changed individual when I returned. He apologized and said he understood I was merely talking about "the future," and I was like "Dude are you high. I don't expect us to do ANYTHING other than figure out how to get ourselves out of the mess we are in that is work enough for ANYONE including me.
I just got unangry enough to be like, "Anna, you don't sue people. You just aren't the type." I mean... When I hit parked cars with no witnesses, like I ENTER the library and find thee person whose car it is." LOL they did an announcement over the intercom and this woman showed up and she was like, "OMG I can't believe you did that! You didn't just leave! I just bought that car! And in South Tucson no less, I can't believe it!" I was like, "Thank you for being so grateful I hit your new car, here is my insurance information."
I lack the ability to scheme and lie enough, frankly. Although it WOULD be fun once my FMLA is approved to like, start terrorizing my boss with emails such as "At the time, I did not want to mention it, because my FMLA was not approved but "highlighted section of my email where I say "I am CALLING IN right after I send you this" and point out her reading comprehension skills seemed to be poor and ALSO the Policy and Procedure does say to tell your supervisor and be like "I know you know how to read, this looks like a setup about my FIRST performance improvement plan to me. Just FYI. I'd like an apology.
There are so many emails I could send, requesting information and well, other stuff, and end each one with a "request for an apology." I could do them to reward me for like, finishing my to do list each day I am for SURE gonna need one. Only it's probably a bad idea like poking bears etc.
I would so dearly love it though, I would LOVE for her to know what if feels like when she acts the way she does to others, IDK.
But yes, change in plans and I can live with this one. I mean, trailers are livable and you can get stuff like composting toilets EWWW but it can be done.
Anna
