I hate my yard. I live on a literal mountain and part of the front slopes so much to the road that you have to weedeat it. The rest of the front causes blisters on my feet most of the year from mowing on a slope. The front slope has a lot of washed out places from the massive rain. The back and sides are mostly flat so that’s easy. Nobody would cut it and I wouldn’t want to pay the price they would quote. I need a retaining wall but they are expensive.
It takes me three hours to do my yard and none of it can be done by riding mower. The men in my life shake their head as it’s that hard. My dad used to weedeat the slope for me but I made him stop. It’s downright dangerous mowing my yard and I won’t let my son and his pretty limbs and toes get near the front. He needs his limbs and toes.
Everybody on my road has a slope but they can easily mow theirs but mine is the worst. It looks ok once I get it all done, but I think of moving daily. I used to say my yard would keep me healthy, now I say it will be the death of me.
I did one side and part of the front and I needed a break. Gotta go back out there now. Sigh
You need a goat. It would keep your lawn mowed and fertilized. You'd just have to water it.