Sick of being demonized

[tj99959]

Of course I'm the only one with the right ones.

 

[67Tele]

What many fail to understand is that a 12 step program only looks like a way to stop doing something, when in reality the 12 steps are a way to learn how to live without that destructive behavior.


[/B]
They just haven't learned it yet.
25 years sober

And you help when you can.

28 years sober last month

 

[Rocketpunk]

I just recently decided to stop drinking, too. It wasn't Intervention level, but I did drink every night after work. I could start to feel the cumulative effects, even at 35, so I decided last week to just not drink. Six days so far!! The first three days were the hardest, I won't lie. But I did the math, and a six pack a night (7.50) times 365 days a year = $2,737. I look forward to the vacations and nice things I can buy now that I decided to nix that habit/addiction.

 

[zoiDman]

I just recently decided to stop drinking, too. It wasn't Intervention level, but I did drink every night after work. I could start to feel the cumulative effects, even at 35, so I decided last week to just not drink. Six days so far!! The first three days were the hardest, I won't lie. But I did the math, and a six pack a night (7.50) times 365 days a year = $2,737. I look forward to the vacations and nice things I can buy now that I decided to nix that habit/addiction.

Hey Right On Rocket.

 

[DC2]

I made a choice to do something healthier and I still end up being the horrible person for making a better choice for myself and those around me.

Yeah, no. The only horrible person in this equation is your friend.

 

[DC2]

Well, in my experience, ex-smokers are the worst for being pious. I think they're proud of having passed the rite of passage to abstinence and some don't want us labelling ourselves as non-smokers in the same way as they are, so there's that.

Secondly, what we do fools people the same way we fool (placate, actually) ourselves - this is smoking without the smoke (and tar and other stuff). It supplants our need to smoke but maintains much of the ritual. Non-vapers see us as behaving like smokers to a large degree and, since they can't relate to the vapor not being smoke (whether they never smoked or quit smoking, they've never vaped), they do not have our appreciation of the differences.

Lastly, you have been conditioned to loath yourself. Or at least told you should loath yourself when you smoked. Smoking is bad, ergo smokers are bad, whether it's stated explicitly or implied (with a heavy hand). Now here you do something that you (we) feel should count as credit towards being a solid citizen and people still want to poop on your new hairdo. No credit given for going from a negative to... well, at least something not nearly so negative. It's frustrating., and the implication is that you should still loath yourself. In fact, another couple of lashes should be administered for your denial/ignorance/arrogance.

Add all the above up and you encountered the perfect storm - self righteousness (on his part) mixed with ignorance (ditto) and a side of old wounds (on your part).

Only you know what you've been through and where you're at now - you are the expert on your story. They don't get to define you. Now, you're (we're) never going to win them over or debate them into submission. You (we) just need to feel good about the person looking back in the mirror.

Oh bummer...
I was SOOO liking this post until the very end.


Now if you are saying we can't educate one of those brain-washed nut jobs, I suppose that's probably true most of the time.

But if you are saying we can't educate the general public...
Well, we have to try.

 

[DC2]

It really isn't fair, because nicotine affects everyone in different ways, and you can't assume that what works for you is going to work for everyone.

This.

At the same time, it is very hard for some people to walk in another's shoes and see things from their point of view.

And very much this too.

Sometimes I think that maybe only 10% of the population has this ability.
People don't seem to understand that the scope of their experience is woefully limited.

 

[67Tele]

You took the Big Step rocketpunk! Many pats on the back and good mojo sent your way. Keep on...

I just recently decided to stop drinking, too. It wasn't Intervention level, but I did drink every night after work. I could start to feel the cumulative effects, even at 35, so I decided last week to just not drink. Six days so far!! The first three days were the hardest, I won't lie. But I did the math, and a six pack a night (7.50) times 365 days a year = $2,737. I look forward to the vacations and nice things I can buy now that I decided to nix that habit/addiction.

 

[dshgr]

They just haven't learned it yet.

I'm trying to understand this statement in response to my earlier statement. Do you mean they haven't learned that they are an alcoholic yet (because they have a glass of wine every couple months)?

 

[zoiDman]

I'm trying to understand this statement in response to my earlier statement. Do you mean they haven't learned that they are an alcoholic yet (because they have a glass of wine every couple months)?

If you want to use the word "Alcoholic", sometimes it is good to define what that word means to You.

Because a Word can mean Different Things to Different People.

 

[The Cloud Minder]

I just recently decided to stop drinking, too. It wasn't Intervention level, but I did drink every night after work. I could start to feel the cumulative effects, even at 35, so I decided last week to just not drink. Six days so far!! The first three days were the hardest, I won't lie. But I did the math, and a six pack a night (7.50) times 365 days a year = $2,737. I look forward to the vacations and nice things I can buy now that I decided to nix that habit/addiction.

Heh, heh, heh, ... More vape gear!

 

[Bunnykiller]

A smoker is a smoker. You say "No" like I'm wrong or something. The op said "Dig a little deeper and find that they "went cold turkey" after smoking 5-10 cigarettes a day for 2-3 years. hah, you were'nt even really a smoker. Bust a 30+ year, pack a day+ habit then get back to me." is something a person who is for some reason proud of how much they smoked and hold that above someone who doesn't smoke as much would say. That's what I would consider a douche.

so by that philosophy, a person who has a small glass of wine with dinner is an alcoholic????

 

[AndriaD]

I just recently decided to stop drinking, too. It wasn't Intervention level, but I did drink every night after work. I could start to feel the cumulative effects, even at 35, so I decided last week to just not drink. Six days so far!! The first three days were the hardest, I won't lie. But I did the math, and a six pack a night (7.50) times 365 days a year = $2,737. I look forward to the vacations and nice things I can buy now that I decided to nix that habit/addiction.

Good luck with that saving money thing. My husband and I killed a 12 pk every night, but we never saw a single penny extra in our budget after we quit. Maybe it was just that we started eating more -- yet I lost 25 lbs in my first yr sober, while EATING MORE!

Andria

 

[The Cloud Minder]

so by that philosophy, a person who has a small glass of wine with dinner is an alcoholic????

I still want to know where you got that awesome sig line.

 

[The Cloud Minder]

Good luck with that saving money thing. My husband and I killed a 12 pk every night, but we never saw a single penny extra in our budget after we quit. Maybe it was just that we started eating more -- yet I lost 25 lbs in my first yr sober, while EATING MORE!

Andria

That's strange, you'd think yo'd have gained.

Lots of alcoholic related this or that in my family, but even after long stretches of massive Etoh consumption in college and the Army, I never, ... never, needed a drink, ... Several thousand times in the past, I needed a cigarette. Now when I feel like I need a cigarette, I vape. For me, overall, it is so close, I feel like I'm cheating (smoking) when I vape.

 

[Bunnykiller]

I still want to know where you got that awesome sig line.

chemistry class 1974 hi school

 

[DC2]

I know exactly how you feel. I encountered the same attitude from a bunch of cold turkey quitters when I went to a popular quit smoking site. Imagine the gall I had to declare myself a non-smoker! What followed were days of being told I was wrong, that I was still smoking, only something WORSE than cigarettes. It was terrible, and I don't use that site anymore.

Yeah, those are the same brain-washed nut jobs I was referring to earlier.
I bet I even know which forum it is.

Did they call nicotine the Nicodemon?
Did they constantly refer to the concept of NOPE? (Not One Puff Ever)

Because I spent about six months on a forum like that trying to convince their most hard-core members to open their minds.
But of course, anything positive I had to say about e-cigs was because I was a hopeless addict just trying to justify my addiction.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that garbage.

 

[AndriaD]

That's strange, you'd think yo'd have gained.

Yeah it seemed completely illogical to me too. But after a year sober, I weighed about 125 lbs -- had weighed almost 150 at the time I quit. But I know I was eating more, because I had much more interest in food, and certainly more interest in sweets. All I can attribute it to is that beer is a lot of "empty" calories. And possibly that my overall metabolism just worked better, after a year of not poisoning myself.

Andria

 

[B2L]

I quit drinking (heavily) about 12 years ago. It was no big deal to me. I can have a beer or 2 now and enjoy it but not have any desire to drink more.

Smoking was a different story. I smoked for about 27 years and had tried everything to quit with absolutely no success. Vaping was a last ditch attempt which I really didn't have high hopes for. That was, on Sep 11th, 4 years ago. I haven't had a craving for a cigarette in the last 3 years. No one can tell me that vaping is not an effective smoking cessation tool. It may not work for everyone, but for me it worked where nothing else had.

I quit smoking/began vaping for myself and my family, not for anyone else. I really couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it. My wife, parents and kids are glad I'm not smoking anymore. I'm glad I'm not smoking anymore. My second grandchild is due in 3 weeks, I'm glad that she will never know Grandpa smelling like an ashtray and that my chances of seeing her grow up are much better now.

I originally looked at vaping as a way to wean down the nic and eventually quit all together. I started vaping 32 mg/ml juice and eventually weaned myself down to 6. I bumped it back up to 15 when my wife told me I was much easier to live with before dropping it that low. I am a happy vaping enthusiast/hobbyist now. If I ever put it down that would be fine but if not, I'm good with that too.

I've met some great people that I consider friends now through vaping and ECF, I wouldn't trade that for anything.

All that to say, haters gonna hate. No reason to waste any effort trying to convince them or worrying about what they think or say.

Wow, that was long

 

[Baditude]

Why do people say, "cold turkey" as if it's a bad thing? I love a nice cold turkey sammich with lettuce, tomato and mayo! Lots of black pepper too.