Still smoking support and chat thread

[FinallyQuit]

Sorry to hear about the dx FQ, but glad to hear from you! Hope you're on the mend!!

Yep I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm pretty sure it's not a train! Thanks for worrying Alisa, but I'm on the mend.

Of course I shared that story for a reason and then lost my train of thought, whoopsie!

MAOI's in cigarettes and a depression diagnosis after quitting. Be careful and pay attention to your feelings!!! It took my boss sending me to HR for the employee assistance program to make me realize this was more than "a bad mood" and get help. After a year the fog is just clearing.

End public service announcement!

Good night friends.

 

[ShariR]

You still deserve a one year Congratulations!!!! for sticking with the vaping in spite of all the crap going on. Many people would have just given up and went back to full time smoking, period. I give you a lot of credit for that. So happy to see you here posting. Keep in touch and continue to feel better. Hope that stress level starts going down soon.

Sisters? What can I say. I got one of those too.

Quick check in, great to have so many posts to catch up on. I can't see siggies on my iPod but I'm pretty sure it's been over 365 days since I put that ticker up. I was only truly smoke-free from July to thanksgiving. The months after that were touch-and-go. I never gave up vaping, just augmented quite a bit with Newport 100's.

From July until November my mood steadily went downhill and ended up in the toilet by December. WTA helped but it was way out of my budget for a lot of months! Early this year I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety. I'm currently on 3 prescriptions to keep me functioning. There's been a LOT of stressful crap in my life lately, and cigarettes were always my go-to stress relief.

I finally realized they weren't filling that need for me anymore. That's a huge breakthrough for me, but I still smoke every.damn.time I'm around my sister.

Maybe I'll be truly smoke-free soon, maybe not, I can't stress about it anymore or beat myself up over it anymore. I have to get on with the business of living!

Welcome and good luck new friends, and hello old friends!!! We shall get through this together.

 

[AndriaD]

Yep I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm pretty sure it's not a train! Thanks for worrying Alisa, but I'm on the mend.

Of course I shared that story for a reason and then lost my train of thought, whoopsie!

MAOI's in cigarettes and a depression diagnosis after quitting. Be careful and pay attention to your feelings!!! It took my boss sending me to HR for the employee assistance program to make me realize this was more than "a bad mood" and get help. After a year the fog is just clearing.

End public service announcement!

Good night friends.

Yeah sometimes the very nature of depression makes it hard to know that you're depressed! But I've struggled with it for so many years, I've gotten better at recognizing when my state of mind hits the skids -- usually it's when I'm convinced that everyone even slightly acquainted with me hates me. And it got really old, all the "snap out of it!", till finally my rage overcomes my apathy and I just scream "don't you think I want to?!?!?!" I think it was Steven Wright who said that depression is anger without energy, and that defines it perfectly for me.

Andria

 

[loft]

Just checking in... feel like I need to post. Haven't gone over my daily "allowance" of analogs -- at 6 presently from 8am until now. One thing I'm noticing is I definitely crave analogs more when at work. I work in customer service so it can be pretty strenuous. Today was my first day back from vacation and I definitely wanted to blaze through an entire pack there.

Thinking about messing around with this Patriot rda that I've had sitting on my desk for a few months. First time I tried it I didn't like it, was too airy and I like my vapor to be extremely warm unless I'm vaping menthol... but I don't want to put menthol in the RDA since the flavor would take ages to come out of it. But do I want to tinker and mess with cotton? I've been pleasantly spoiled by this beta carto that I'm testing...

 

[FinallyQuit]

Yeah sometimes the very nature of depression makes it hard to know that you're depressed! But I've struggled with it for so many years, I've gotten better at recognizing when my state of mind hits the skids -- usually it's when I'm convinced that everyone even slightly acquainted with me hates me. And it got really old, all the "snap out of it!", till finally my rage overcomes my apathy and I just scream "don't you think I want to?!?!?!" I think it was Steven Wright who said that depression is anger without energy, and that defines it perfectly for me.

Andria

I too hate "you can't let it keep you down" "just get out of bed and try" and other non-helpful tips. Do they think we are like this because we enjoy it?

Hugs to you and thanks for getting me!

 

[AndriaD]

I too hate "you can't let it keep you down" "just get out of bed and try" and other non-helpful tips. Do they think we are like this because we enjoy it?

Hugs to you and thanks for getting me!

I got so sick of it from my husband, I finally said "if I had diabetes, would you tell me to snap out of THAT?" He finally got it -- real depression is a hell of a lot more than a "bad mood" or "feeling sad"!!! Sometimes you can't even begin to deal with it until you get some medication, to put yourself in the proper frame of mind just to be *able* to deal with it -- to be able to really see the hole you've fallen into, you kinda have to get some ways *out* of the stupid hole! Perspective!

Andria

 

[aikanae1]

I too hate "you can't let it keep you down" "just get out of bed and try" and other non-helpful tips. Do they think we are like this because we enjoy it?

Hugs to you and thanks for getting me!

I can relate to that! Right up there with "Just quit like I did (cold turkey)" It makes sense to me that there's a compenent in cigs that self-medicating. Nicotine is both a stimulant with a calming effect. Very unusual. I don't think anyone really knows squat about it.

I'm going to mention snus again. They've done a good job of brainwashing us against the stuff (swedish snus) because it's not like I imagined at all. It did take the edge off, IMO one step up from WTA. It's not messy or yucky and easy to keep on hand. It's also one of the most well studied THR products. The Swedish study = lowest smoking rates, no increase in oral cancers etc. In fact public health costs went down by 45% in 5 years. It really ticks me off that we've been lied to about this stuff. Anyway, it's handy to get past a roadblock.

One thing I discovered in looking for my adv was going for flavors I was familar with or liked to eat etc. That didn't work. I think it's because I'm more critical of those flavors, higher expectations, etc. I did better with flavors I wasn't as familar with (banana, fruits).

Nice hearing from you FQ. Glad that isn't a train you see.

 

[FinallyQuit]

Aik!!!!! I keep thinking I'm going to try snus but then I never do. Must put on shopping list. No spitting right? Lol that would not go over well at work.

Shari my dear!!!! Thanks for celebrating on my behalf. Hope your house woes end soon and you meet grand baby before kindergarten starts!!

Ok really need sleep now, must be up in 4 hours.

Goodnight everyone!

 

[aikanae1]

May you get 8 hours of sleep in 4 then. LOL! A familar wish on this end..

Yes try the snus. General mini packets and I got nordic mint. I'm not a menthol smoker (hate it) so it's not minty or menthol. It'll set you back apx $5 for 12 packets. No one will know - work safe. Not messy. Just kinda weird as anything new is. I had to over come all sorts of brainwashed messages to give them a go. I wish I'd tried them earlier.

 

[darksparkle13]

Wow had a bit of reading to catch up on!

As for the mental disorders, I am a bi-polar anyway I have been on the best cocktail for me for quite some time. I still have ups and owns, but I would rather that than to feel nothing. And I have to agree that for a very long time mental health was not recognized as an actual disorder, oh get over it, it's all in your head, just get up and you will feel better... Stop being paranoid....
When you get back to the best stated of mind you can, it is easier to explain what is goin on, the out of control feeling is horrible, the spiraling outta control is scary!

Luckily this is a great support group that has a bit of everything! Understanding here is awesome!
Thanks you all!

 

[Timothy Moore]

I know what you mean. It took me years to first recognize I was depressed. Then recognized WHEN I am depressed. Then recognize when depression is coming. If that makes sense.

I have learned a couple things that help me out quite a bit. They are very simple. And I don't mean to oversimplify the issue. But it helps a lot.

1 - I allow myself to feel bad. I found the more I fight how I feel, trying to make myself happy, the worse the depression gets. Like quicksand, the more you struggle, the more you sink. I allow myself the feeling. I remind myself it is just a feeling. And I am allowed to feel different ways.

2- I ignore and mistrust ANYTHING questionable that goes through my mind. I do not dwell on negative thoughts. When negative thoughts come in, I tell myself, you are depressed. This is probably bs going through your mind. So I kind of hear it but ignore it kind of thing. It doesn't stop those thoughts, but I react less to them.

It has taken years of practice to get those two things working in my life, but they really, really help, once you get those tools proficient.
And it doesn't mean I don't get blindsided now and again.But recognizing I am in a depression and constantly reminding myself "what you are thinking right now probably isn't true" and then start to look to the things that I know deep down are true - these things keep me from falling into the "abyss" of depression.

But allowing myself to feel bad, that is a big one. I fight the negative thoughts, but not the bad feeling. I let myself have the feeling. And by not fighting the feeling, I find I get through it a lot quicker and a lot more successfully.

Yeah sometimes the very nature of depression makes it hard to know that you're depressed! But I've struggled with it for so many years, I've gotten better at recognizing when my state of mind hits the skids -- usually it's when I'm convinced that everyone even slightly acquainted with me hates me. And it got really old, all the "snap out of it!", till finally my rage overcomes my apathy and I just scream "don't you think I want to?!?!?!" I think it was Steven Wright who said that depression is anger without energy, and that defines it perfectly for me.

Andria

 

[AndriaD]

I know what you mean. It took me years to first recognize I was depressed. Then recognized WHEN I am depressed. Then recognize when depression is coming. If that makes sense.

I have learned a couple things that help me out quite a bit. They are very simple. And I don't mean to oversimplify the issue. But it helps a lot.

1 - I allow myself to feel bad. I found the more I fight how I feel, trying to make myself happy, the worse the depression gets. Like quicksand, the more you struggle, the more you sink. I allow myself the feeling. I remind myself it is just a feeling. And I am allowed to feel different ways.

2- I ignore and mistrust ANYTHING questionable that goes through my mind. I do not dwell on negative thoughts. When negative thoughts come in, I tell myself, you are depressed. This is probably bs going through your mind. So I kind of hear it but ignore it kind of thing. It doesn't stop those thoughts, but I react less to them.

It has taken years of practice to get those two things working in my life, but they really, really help, once you get those tools proficient.
And it doesn't mean I don't get blindsided now and again.But recognizing I am in a depression and constantly reminding myself "what you are thinking right now probably isn't true" and then start to look to the things that I know deep down are true - these things keep me from falling into the "abyss" of depression.

But allowing myself to feel bad, that is a big one. I fight the negative thoughts, but not the bad feeling. I let myself have the feeling. And by not fighting the feeling, I find I get through it a lot quicker and a lot more successfully.

I dunno... since I got over my last really awful bout about 10 yrs ago, now I try to fight it as hard as I can. When we had some really serious and unpleasant issues to deal with, regarding our son, for a while I wallowed, but I got tired of wallowing, and made myself get out of the house and get some exercise, trying to stimulate some extra serotonin, and it actually helped a great deal. The unpleasant issues were still there, and I'm still unhappy about them, almost 3 yrs later, but I don't wallow. I just accept that those issues will always be there, and get on with the rest of my life.

It's probably different, considering I'm a woman and my last really awful bout had a great deal with the hormonal mayhem of approaching menopause; now that I'm post-menopausal and my hormones pretty much just lay there and do nothing, I don't have such emotional mayhem either. THANK GOD! So yeah I'm getting old, but considering the emotional stability I enjoy now, I can't be really sorry about the fact of getting old. Hormones are a girl's worst enemy!!! But I think that's why the 3wk and 3mo depression was so surprising to me, after being so stable for several years.

Andria

 

[AndriaD]

I discovered something really encouraging this morning. You know I had been smoke free for a bit over 3 months when I got ill, and ended up smoking for a month or so. Today is my 4th day smoke-free, and I've been doing the same thing on waking that I did at first, using that really high (11mg) ejuice, to get me over the possibility of morning cravings. This morning I discovered, after just 4-5 hits, that I've fallen right back into the same morning ease I had acquired in that 3+ months smoke-free -- no urgency, no sense of deprivation whatever; just, "hurry up and get that tea made, so I can enjoy this blueberry muffin with it" -- the blueberry muffin is only 8mg, but it's so yummy, I don't even care! So I'm definitely getting more, tonight! since my bottle is nearly empty.

It's nice to find that my month of smoking didn't completely derail my new non-smoker status. For me, just removing the option, taking it completely off the table, seems to be the magic -- if I just don't even permit myself to consider smoking as a possibility, I don't get overwrought, I just vape happily. This morning I took that open pack containing 12 cigarettes and put it into a ziplock, and put it in the freezer. So my option is still open -- i just don't count it as a "real" option. So there's no coercion, just my own choice.

Andria

 

[etherealink]

Just checking in... feel like I need to post. Haven't gone over my daily "allowance" of analogs -- at 6 presently from 8am until now. One thing I'm noticing is I definitely crave analogs more when at work. I work in customer service so it can be pretty strenuous. Today was my first day back from vacation and I definitely wanted to blaze through an entire pack there.

Thinking about messing around with this Patriot rda that I've had sitting on my desk for a few months. First time I tried it I didn't like it, was too airy and I like my vapor to be extremely warm unless I'm vaping menthol... but I don't want to put menthol in the RDA since the flavor would take ages to come out of it. But do I want to tinker and mess with cotton? I've been pleasantly spoiled by this beta carto that I'm testing...

Hey Loft

If you have a problem with the rda being "airy" and need a warmer vape I would suggest trying a slightly larger inner diameter coil in about the same resistance. The larger diameter helps to throw more vapor and speed up the heat-up time of the coil, or at least seems to.

What gauge of wire are you using and where are you placing the coil in relation to the airhole?

 

[Timothy Moore]

Not to put words in your mouth, but I don't think what we are saying is that dissimilar, just from two different angles.

But just to clarify, when I say I don't fight the feeling, I am not meaning just allowing the feeling to overwhelm me and stop pressing forward. No, I keep pressing forward and rejecting the oddball lies that go through my head that try to push me into the abyss.
I simply mean I do not try to make myself "happy" during those times. I press forward, concentrate on the task at hand and say to myself "well, I feel like THIS today. That is okay. I am allowed to feel like THIS. I will do my best and how I feel is how I feel."

But I do not discredit that circumstances are different for you. And because of this coping strategies must also be tweaked to fit. And everyone has to find what process works for them.

I just didn't want you to think I just give up on the day and roll over and let it overwhelm me. No, I just mean I don't focus on how I feel, but rather the thoughts I entertain and how I react to such feeling.

I dunno... since I got over my last really awful bout about 10 yrs ago, now I try to fight it as hard as I can. When we had some really serious and unpleasant issues to deal with, regarding our son, for a while I wallowed, but I got tired of wallowing, and made myself get out of the house and get some exercise, trying to stimulate some extra serotonin, and it actually helped a great deal. The unpleasant issues were still there, and I'm still unhappy about them, almost 3 yrs later, but I don't wallow. I just accept that those issues will always be there, and get on with the rest of my life.

It's probably different, considering I'm a woman and my last really awful bout had a great deal with the hormonal mayhem of approaching menopause; now that I'm post-menopausal and my hormones pretty much just lay there and do nothing, I don't have such emotional mayhem either. THANK GOD! So yeah I'm getting old, but considering the emotional stability I enjoy now, I can't be really sorry about the fact of getting old. Hormones are a girl's worst enemy!!! But I think that's why the 3wk and 3mo depression was so surprising to me, after being so stable for several years.

Andria

 

[Timothy Moore]

Just throwing this out there for conversation sake.
I do not recommend anyone get into sub-ohming unless they take the time, talk to a few people experienced with it and do a lot of research first.
BUT

The RDA I used after my tooth extraction. It is an IGO-L. The airholes are too tiny for me stock. I actually have a couple IGO-Ls. This one I have drilled out to what I think is about 1/8 inch. And I have opposing holes. SUPER air flow. The difference is my coil is 0.54 ohm resistance. That translates to about 32.6 watts. Not too airy at all.
But if your air hole is lined up right with your coil, it will also increase heat and vapor production.

(originally, I had drilled the second hole for the purposes of dual-coiling. But lately just been running one coil in everything. If I dualed that build, it would be at somewhere around 0.25 and that isn't a comfortable vape for me. )

Just checking in... feel like I need to post. Haven't gone over my daily "allowance" of analogs -- at 6 presently from 8am until now. One thing I'm noticing is I definitely crave analogs more when at work. I work in customer service so it can be pretty strenuous. Today was my first day back from vacation and I definitely wanted to blaze through an entire pack there.

Thinking about messing around with this Patriot rda that I've had sitting on my desk for a few months. First time I tried it I didn't like it, was too airy and I like my vapor to be extremely warm unless I'm vaping menthol... but I don't want to put menthol in the RDA since the flavor would take ages to come out of it. But do I want to tinker and mess with cotton? I've been pleasantly spoiled by this beta carto that I'm testing...

 

[loft]

Just throwing this out there for conversation sake.
I do not recommend anyone get into sub-ohming unless they take the time, talk to a few people experienced with it and do a lot of research first.
BUT

The RDA I used after my tooth extraction. It is an IGO-L. The airholes are too tiny for me stock. I actually have a couple IGO-Ls. This one I have drilled out to what I think is about 1/8 inch. And I have opposing holes. SUPER air flow. The difference is my coil is 0.54 ohm resistance. That translates to about 32.6 watts. Not too airy at all.
But if your air hole is lined up right with your coil, it will also increase heat and vapor production.

(originally, I had drilled the second hole for the purposes of dual-coiling. But lately just been running one coil in everything. If I dualed that build, it would be at somewhere around 0.25 and that isn't a comfortable vape for me. )

Funny you mention this... I just had a tooth removed today. Actually appreciating the airy draw as I don't want a dry socket. I've already ventured into sub ohm a while back but actually prefer 2ohms on my dna. I don't vape too hard. -shrug-

 

[Timothy Moore]

You should read my post a few days ago. That igo-l did help me avoid dry socket. Though I wouldn't be quick to make any guarantees on that. YMMV (your mileage may vary). However, it did help me get better on track with vaping rather than smoking. I knew if I smoked I would be risking dry socket.
And even though I still smoke some here and there, the tooth extraction really has had a marked difference in how much I vape vs smoke now.

I feel you on not staying on the sub-ohm. I still use my sub ohm build, but even with that, I tend to stay around .5. I tried going down to .2 but just didn't like it. I mean it was nice to do it just to have that sense of accomplishment and to be able to say I did it. But I sub at .5 but my tanks are actually around 1 ohm. I don't have anything other than mechs that will run anything lower than 1.5, so I keep a 1.5 around for my Zmax. It seems to vape just fine.

But that is the whole point. You keep trying stuff out till you find out what works for you. That is the both the trick and the fun part about vaping.
A friend and I were just discussing that we actually have different gear setups for different situations. What works at my desk doesn't work when I am out and about..

Funny you mention this... I just had a tooth removed today. Actually appreciating the airy draw as I don't want a dry socket. I've already ventured into sub ohm a while back but actually prefer 2ohms on my dna. I don't vape too hard. -shrug-

 

[Timothy Moore]

Good on you. Glad you are doing better. This thread must be helping too lol I know it has helped me.

I have a juice that I make that goes well with some Earl Grey tea. Wondering do you have other flavors you prefer with tea? Is it just you and me that have a juice/tea combination, or do you other vapers also have a tea/juice combo?
And isn't it weird the flavor of the tea and certain juices really complement each other and enhance one another? I haven't quite found that with coffee yet. Or any other food/drink for that matter.

I discovered something really encouraging this morning. You know I had been smoke free for a bit over 3 months when I got ill, and ended up smoking for a month or so. Today is my 4th day smoke-free, and I've been doing the same thing on waking that I did at first, using that really high (11mg) ejuice, to get me over the possibility of morning cravings. This morning I discovered, after just 4-5 hits, that I've fallen right back into the same morning ease I had acquired in that 3+ months smoke-free -- no urgency, no sense of deprivation whatever; just, "hurry up and get that tea made, so I can enjoy this blueberry muffin with it" -- the blueberry muffin is only 8mg, but it's so yummy, I don't even care! So I'm definitely getting more, tonight! since my bottle is nearly empty.

It's nice to find that my month of smoking didn't completely derail my new non-smoker status. For me, just removing the option, taking it completely off the table, seems to be the magic -- if I just don't even permit myself to consider smoking as a possibility, I don't get overwrought, I just vape happily. This morning I took that open pack containing 12 cigarettes and put it into a ziplock, and put it in the freezer. So my option is still open -- i just don't count it as a "real" option. So there's no coercion, just my own choice.

Andria

 

[aikanae1]

If I do it, I'm getting into the pre-made market. They are apx $3 for 50 on FT. I'm not sure I could buy the wire at that price. The reviews are great. The reviews have been great and I guess it really cuts down on time. I just put in an order, I'm getting tired of heads prices getting in the way of buying a new mod or something much more fun. I just found out the Provari 3 will have vw.

I got an oddball question - I seem to always miss the drama (which I usually don't mind) but there's several long time members on ECF that have been banned lately. Anyone care to enlighten me as to what's going on? I can't talk about the forms some went to here and can't talk about ECF there and don't really want a blow-by-blow account in pm's so I thought this might be a more neutral place to ask. Did something change?