Still smoking support and chat thread

[etherealink]

Really hate to like that post FQ, if it helps any all I could do the week of the funeral recently was remember to breathe and keep busy. And I don't mean just about the cigarette.

Personally, I hate the idea that the media is there already but they are pretty much a part of life anymore.

Hopefully the councillor's have good training helping this make sense to children so young and moving past it.

My condolences to the family.

 

[FinallyQuit]

Thanks for your kind responses! I was feeling all flustered and frankly, it's not a topic I feel like I have the strength to go into with her. She's fragile and I'm exhausted. Good news is, she came home from school unscathed and has asked not questions nor offered any comments, so I'm pretty sure she remains insulated from it for now.

I feel terrible about what happened and how we are living in a world where people can do this, and that I'm leaving it for my kids when I've moved on. It's sobering. I hope I can prepare them to deal effectively with "life" and "the real world" because my parents sure didn't prepare me! We are all in counseling, but it is a work in progress, and we are all stomping all over each other right now trying to figure it all out.

It's so nice to have people to lean on! Thanks for caring, friends. I'm now a little better armed for battle when I finally get home tonight.

 

[AndriaD]

she came home from school unscathed and has asked not questions nor offered any comments, so I'm pretty sure she remains insulated from it for now.

I wouldn't count on that; many times children internalize their confusion and pain, not knowing how to address it. After 9/11, when I picked up my son from school that day, I could see he was very troubled, but he didn't say anything. Naturally I still had the TV on at home, and -- very unlike his usual behavior, he was just 13 at the time -- he came and sat down right beside me and watched with me, still saying nothing. Finally he saw that I was crying, and he took my hand and just squeezed it; there really wasn't much that could be said, by either of us, it was so awful. Finally later that night we did talk about it, and he said they'd had it on TV at school for much of the day, which I thought was kinda bad, for middle-schoolers, but at least no one was trying to keep them in the dark about why the grown-ups were so upset. He said the entire school was eerily quiet all day, which really says something, when you're talking about 11-13 yr olds.

I remember that when I was about 11 or 12, a girl I went to school with, and her whole family, were killed while on vacation by a drunk driver. I didn't know what to do with that info, or how to respond; I knew *of* the girl, but didn't know her personally; she was in the grade below mine, but she was good friends with another kid, a boy down the street from me, with whom I was much better acquainted, and he was quite torn up. The only way it really touched me personally was that her family were the owners of the dog whose puppy they gave to us.

Andria

 

[ShariR]

Yeah rah rah!!!! You are doing great and 6 bottles; you are doing your homework and working it, girl. Way to go!

Gotta go dig out the bananas!

You guys are Awesomesauce! And so supportive! Day two down! Working on day three!

I am feeling ok. Have a sore throat but need to make sure I get some Gatorade today!
I have found that I am having to carry around like atleast six flavors, if one doesnt satisfy I move onto the next until I find the right one!

And thank the heavens above for e cigs! There is no way I would have gone this long with out them!

 

[ShariR]

Oh no, FQ. Hang in there and let your kids use the help that will be made available to them at their schools. Oh, how terrible. There is no way to handle this easy. Just let them both know how much you love them and they are loved. I would squeeze them extra hard and maybe make chocolate chip pancakes with ice cream for dinner.

Good morning everyone. Sad day in our house this morning, there was an email sent by my first-grader's principal last night around 10pm. There has been a tragedy involving 5 children from our area, 3 of those children went to the same school as my daughter. There are counselors on hand in the classrooms today to help, so I didn't discuss it with her. She's never lost a friend, family member, or even a pet, so I didn't want to get involved in that conversation early in the morning. There was a news crew in front of the school this morning while I was dropping her off. Now it's going to become sensationalized and rumors and gossip are going to be flying, and my child is going to be hearing it from all sides and it opens up a huge can of worms I don't have the strength to deal with right now. She is in counseling for abandonment issues, if that sheds some light on my dilemma.

Sorry to explode on you all. Just know that I smoked today, for the first time since Saturday, and had to bum one from a friend because I am not buying another pack. And I'm angry about the state of the world we live in and parents who would hurt their kids to this extent.

I'll be positive later, sorry to be Debbie Downer. . .

ETA: What I posted up there is so inadequate for the situation. I just learned a little more about it tonight. How horrible. Pancakes and ice cream will not heal this one.

DD1 has a good idea of the evil out there but the little one is more innocent. So hard. The 24 hour news cycle of today does not help or the media outside. Today's world is so different from when I was a child. Just let then know they are loved. I still do not know what to tell you.

 

[FinallyQuit]

Oh no, FQ. Hang in there and let your kids use the help that will be made available to them at their schools. Oh, how terrible. There is no way to handle this easy. Just let them both know how much you love them and they are loved. I would squeeze them extra hard and maybe make chocolate chip pancakes with ice cream for dinner.



ETA: What I posted up there is so inadequate for the situation. I just learned a little more about it tonight. How horrible. Pancakes and ice cream will not heal this one.

DD1 has a good idea of the evil out there but the little one is more innocent. So hard. The 24 hour news cycle of today does not help or the media outside. Today's world is so different from when I was a child. Just let then know they are loved. I still do not know what to tell you.

Actually I came home and had a family meeting and yelled at them a lot. It was so cathartic! I made a couple new rules and shored up some old ones that have been getting trampled. I let them know that I love them but was not going to let them manipulate me any more. And I gave them permission to call me on it when I manipulate them. We are a very passive-aggressive family and we need to stop that childish behavior. I told the older ones why I was so concerned about the little one hearing rumors and to let me know of any signs that she might be trying to deal with a huge issue without telling us about it. We all have a lot to learn but they know I will do everything in my power to keep them safe and help them thrive.

Getting that off my chest kind of felt like giving the finger to that dad and all the other parents out there who harm rather than help!

Thanks for your support today everyone!!!! What a special group we have here, I'm reminded every day.



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[noobbuilder]

Actually I came home and had a family meeting and yelled at them a lot. It was so cathartic! I made a couple new rules and shored up some old ones that have been getting trampled. I let them know that I love them but was not going to let them manipulate me any more. And I gave them permission to call me on it when I manipulate them. We are a very passive-aggressive family and we need to stop that childish behavior. I told the older ones why I was so concerned about the little one hearing rumors and to let me know of any signs that she might be trying to deal with a huge issue without telling us about it. We all have a lot to learn but they know I will do everything in my power to keep them safe and help them thrive.

Getting that off my chest kind of felt like giving the finger to that dad and all the other parents out there who harm rather than help!

Thanks for your support today everyone!!!! What a special group we have here, I'm reminded every day.



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That's what friends are for. We listen and support each other

 

[darksparkle13]

Good morning everyone. Sad day in our house this morning, there was an email sent by my first-grader's principal last night around 10pm. There has been a tragedy involving 5 children from our area, 3 of those children went to the same school as my daughter. There are counselors on hand in the classrooms today to help, so I didn't discuss it with her. She's never lost a friend, family member, or even a pet, so I didn't want to get involved in that conversation early in the morning. There was a news crew in front of the school this morning while I was dropping her off. Now it's going to become sensationalized and rumors and gossip are going to be flying, and my child is going to be hearing it from all sides and it opens up a huge can of worms I don't have the strength to deal with right now. She is in counseling for abandonment issues, if that sheds some light on my dilemma.

Sorry to explode on you all. Just know that I smoked today, for the first time since Saturday, and had to bum one from a friend because I am not buying another pack. And I'm angry about the state of the world we live in and parents who would hurt their kids to this extent.

I'll be positive later, sorry to be Debbie Downer. . .

FQ I am sorry to hear this. No worries about being a Debbie downer, that is what we are hear for to help each other thru!
I am proud that you did not go and buy a pack! Positive thoughts and prayers for you your family and the others involved.

 

[darksparkle13]

Yeah rah rah!!!! You are doing great and 6 bottles; you are doing your homework and working it, girl. Way to go!

Gotta go dig out the bananas!

Love the dancing bananas! Thanks Sheri! Yesterday was tough, but still no cigs!

 

[FinallyQuit]

Hey everyone! Any experience with ticks, or other bugs that burrow? I found a very scary perfectly round dark black spot on my side yesterday. I'm literally covered with moles so I do skin checks frequently and this is brand new and very different from any mole I have, so I thought it was magic marker (didn't wash off) or a blemish (didn't hurt or itch) or something artsy-craftsy stuck to me (wouldn't peel off) so then my paranoia convinced me it was a tick completely burrowed under my skin.

After Google convinced me ticks don't behave that way I took it to urgent care at 8:00 last night, only Doc says "that is definitely NOT a tick bite" gives me doxycycline to pacify my paranoia, then writes on my orders follow up with dermatologist because melanoma cannot be ruled out! Thanks for the pacifier, doc!

Another reason to smoke!!


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[darksparkle13]

Hey all happy Friday! So this morning I am struggling. Really craving have my arsenal nothing is hittin the spot...
Still holding strong, this to shall pass, one day at a time!

 

[beebopnjazz]

Omg FQ- get it checked.

 

[AndriaD]

Hey everyone! Any experience with ticks, or other bugs that burrow? I found a very scary perfectly round dark black spot on my side yesterday. I'm literally covered with moles so I do skin checks frequently and this is brand new and very different from any mole I have, so I thought it was magic marker (didn't wash off) or a blemish (didn't hurt or itch) or something artsy-craftsy stuck to me (wouldn't peel off) so then my paranoia convinced me it was a tick completely burrowed under my skin.

After Google convinced me ticks don't behave that way I took it to urgent care at 8:00 last night, only Doc says "that is definitely NOT a tick bite" gives me doxycycline to pacify my paranoia, then writes on my orders follow up with dermatologist because melanoma cannot be ruled out! Thanks for the pacifier, doc!

Another reason to smoke!!

I hate to agree with doctors, those snake-charmers. But it's true that a new black mark on the skin needs to be checked out ASAP; I check out my husband's back regularly, because he freckles, and will NOT wear sunblock.

But if it's melanoma, or even a possibility... wouldn't smoking be double-jeopardy? That's mostly why I quit laying out in the sun... it was easier than quitting smoking.

Andria

 

[AndriaD]

Hey all happy Friday! So this morning I am struggling. Really craving have my arsenal nothing is hittin the spot...
Still holding strong, this to shall pass, one day at a time!

How many days now? Hang in there!! If it gets too awful... Aroma ships Priority 2-day, you could get some WTA PDQ! And that stuff really does help.... I went from OMG the cravings! to WHAT cravings?

It's hard to tell from my sig counter, but today makes 7 wks. *whew* Think I'm mostly over the "danger" phase; when I get up in the morning, I don't latch on to the PV like it's a life-support system; usually wait till I've had a big drink of water, THEN start hitting it.

Hang in there, sparkle!

Andria

 

[darksparkle13]

How many days now? Hang in there!! If it gets too awful... Aroma ships Priority 2-day, you could get some WTA PDQ! And that stuff really does help.... I went from OMG the cravings! to WHAT cravings?

It's hard to tell from my sig counter, but today makes 7 wks. *whew* Think I'm mostly over the "danger" phase; when I get up in the morning, I don't latch on to the PV like it's a life-support system; usually wait till I've had a big drink of water, THEN start hitting it.

Hang in there, sparkle!

Andria

andria this is day five. I did light one one and took two drags coughed my lungs out and the taste was wrong for almost two hours. it had to happen I think...
am fine now... and will check out the WTA

I am still latching for sure!!!

 

[FinallyQuit]

Getting in with my dermatologist next week, had DD1 at pedis office for 3 hours today, and I went to my family doc to have my spot and my knee looked at.

DD1 possible parasite or salmonella or e-coli infraction, must send stool sample for testing. OMG she's so embarrassed about it don't let her know I told y'all!

Me and my spot are probably freaking out for nothing, and are getting referred to the dermatologist for a final analysis. And I either have tendinitis or a torn ligament in my left knee, rest/ice and anti-inflammatories for a month. It should resolve by itself but if it gets worse I'll get an MRI.

And the best news, even though my first thought was "a really good reason to smoke" I have not lit up since Wednesday. Me and Halo Tribecca 24mg are slowly getting used to each other, it's over-flavored and perfumery and a 7 ml bottle was $6.99 at my tiny local store. I won't buy it again, my handmade RY4 is hands down my favorite. But Halo made this good and strong so it really knocks down a craving!!


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[FinallyQuit]

Ducking auto-correct! Perfumey not perfumery. Infection not infraction. Peds not pedis. Sorry y'all!


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[beebopnjazz]

I cut halo in half with 50/50 18ng - still plenty of flavor and it ups the vg ratio some

 

[beebopnjazz]

Auto correct is the devil

 

[FinallyQuit]

Auto correct is the devil

You're right but it makes for some hilarious internet memes! Roflmao!!


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