Still smoking support and chat thread
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@AndriaD thanks for linking me to this page, and for being supportive and helpful from day one of my journey.
Ok, some of you may already know what's going on but I'm sure some of you don't so I will fill you in. It's been nearly a year since I "quit" analogs. I can't say I fully quit, because if I'm drinking heavily, I still tend to crave, or even have an analog here and there. I was one of the people that would beat myself up for this, but over time realised one here and there is still better then the 1+ PAD I used to smoke. So my dad, at 60 years old had bloodwork done and the doctors suspected he had multiple myeloma. Today was his biopsy and they confirmed it, and believe it to be stage 2 or possibly stage 3 terminal. We won't know for a week or so for sure, but it is definently cancer. The issue I am having now is I'm scared I will return to full time smoking. ive been doing really good staying away from analogs, but this is the first time I've been put in this situation since I quit, and I'm afraid of how I'm going to react, especially if it ends up being stage 3. It isint helping that everyone I work with smokes. so that's where I'm at.
Ok, some of you may already know what's going on but I'm sure some of you don't so I will fill you in. It's been nearly a year since I "quit" analogs. I can't say I fully quit, because if I'm drinking heavily, I still tend to crave, or even have an analog here and there. I was one of the people that would beat myself up for this, but over time realised one here and there is still better then the 1+ PAD I used to smoke. So my dad, at 60 years old had bloodwork done and the doctors suspected he had multiple myeloma. Today was his biopsy and they confirmed it, and believe it to be stage 2 or possibly stage 3 terminal. We won't know for a week or so for sure, but it is definently cancer. The issue I am having now is I'm scared I will return to full time smoking. ive been doing really good staying away from analogs, but this is the first time I've been put in this situation since I quit, and I'm afraid of how I'm going to react, especially if it ends up being stage 3. It isint helping that everyone I work with smokes. so that's where I'm at.
As I said, I'm really sorry to hear that about your dad; I hardly even got to know my own dad, and it was still very rough; they tried radiation, but all it did was make the tumor grow -- but to be perfectly honest, when I heard "small-cell lung cancer," I knew it was terminal; it was really just a matter of 'when.'
All I can really say is that smoking won't help the situation any, and it won't even make you feel better -- it'll actually give you another reason to feel bad, as if you need another right now. If you smoked one, I think you'd soon realize that cigarettes really won't make you feel a bit better, and don't give you the same satisfaction/relief that they used to, when you were a habitual smoker; however in your current situation, it might be a really slippery slope to even try one -- it would make it that much easier to keep saying yes, rather than the no you've grown accustomed to, over the last year; once that door gets opened, it's a real beast to get closed again.
But perhaps some WTA could give your brain something it's not getting from plain-nic vaping. I've found it very helpful in fighting my chronic depression/anxiety problems; it might help alleviate some of the stress you're going thru now and are bound to experience more of, as the situation unfolds, and it would definitely alleviate any physical cravings that might result from that stress.
Hang in there...
Andria
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. A cancer diagnosis at any age can be frightening as hell, not just for one one who has received that news, but to all those near and dear. As a cancer survivor myself, I understand how frightening that can be.
As Andria has said, smoking won't help you feel any better. I also know, though, that cigarettes are easier to turn to in times of stress, because there's no thinking involved around it--you crave, you light up, and craving is satisfied. vaping is more involved--what strength of nic juice, what flavour, adding WTA to help handle the really strong craving, etc. As addicts, under stress, we tend to turn to the easiest route to get the drug we need.
Know that you've come to a place of care and support. Our thoughts are with you.
As Andria has said, smoking won't help you feel any better. I also know, though, that cigarettes are easier to turn to in times of stress, because there's no thinking involved around it--you crave, you light up, and craving is satisfied. vaping is more involved--what strength of nic juice, what flavour, adding WTA to help handle the really strong craving, etc. As addicts, under stress, we tend to turn to the easiest route to get the drug we need.
Know that you've come to a place of care and support. Our thoughts are with you.
Hi everyone, I'm still checking in here every so often, nice to see some familiar names. 
I have jumped on the temp control bandwagon and do like it. I got a SX Mini M class and Kanger Sub Tank mini that uses nickel coils, I do like it quite a bit but am also still using regular regulated mods with Atlantis tanks too.
My taster changes all the time so I have quite a collection of juice, lol, one vendor I really like a lot is Steam Juice. At the moment I'm dipping my toes in the water with DIY and have made a couple I really like a lot. I'm using recipes by a guy on another forum that I don't think can be mentioned here and I don't want to get into trouble with the mods.
I have jumped on the temp control bandwagon and do like it. I got a SX Mini M class and Kanger Sub Tank mini that uses nickel coils, I do like it quite a bit but am also still using regular regulated mods with Atlantis tanks too.
My taster changes all the time so I have quite a collection of juice, lol, one vendor I really like a lot is Steam Juice. At the moment I'm dipping my toes in the water with DIY and have made a couple I really like a lot. I'm using recipes by a guy on another forum that I don't think can be mentioned here and I don't want to get into trouble with the mods.
I'm sorry to meet you here in such terrible circumstances, @josh w. I agree with everything Andria and Dolores said. The fact that you managed to stay smoke-free for a year is very commendable, and if you fall back to smoking now it will only make you feel worse than you already do. It is very difficult to stop from falling back to the old familiar ways during these times as they seem to bring us comfort. More than likely, though, it would make you feel bad about yourself and perhaps in the long run make you feel even more depressed than you must be already.
Smoking is so much easier than vaping. It's really a no-brainer, and that's what makes it so easy to fall back on during times of stress, especially a big one like the one you're facing. Being surrounded by smokers at work makes it that much more difficult not to smoke. I don't know about you, but I'm afraid if I smoked a couple of cigarettes even now, I believe I'd return to full time smoking since I was such a heavy smoker for so many years. Try to resist the temptation, but if smoking one every now and then is possible for you to manage, don't beat yourself up about it. Think of all the hard work you've put in staying off the cigarettes for so long. Don't throw it away now.
Please come back and keep us posted as to how you and your dad are doing. We care, and will do our best to support you during this time.
Not sure if just a couple would do it, but it might; in my relapse last summer, even though I was still trying to vape, I was shocked to find that I had gotten all the way back to pack+ a day *inside a week* -- within 3 or 4 days. I started right then trying to get rid of them all over again, and it still took a month, and it was a great deal harder to kiss them goodbye when it was an effort of will rather than them simply falling away thru disinterest.
It's true that vaping isn't nearly as "easy" as smoking; I keep running into that sentiment around here, and I find it troubling, it keeps running around in my brain. In fact there's a good reason why it's not as easy as smoking: it's NOT smoking, it's the thing we do to keep from smoking, and as such, it's a GREAT DEAL easier than any other NRT or any other method ever devised to quit smoking. So there's that. I don't think anyone with half a brain would ever say that quitting smoking is easy, by any means -- but really, is there anything in life that's really worth doing, that IS easy? I'm racking my brain, trying to think of anything really important and worthwhile that's easy, and I can't think of a single one. If those worthwhile, important things were really easy... would they be so worthwhile and important? If anyone can do a thing... it loses some of its value, doesn't it?
I didn't start my vaping journey until January of last year, and from what I've gleaned around here, vaping has become a great deal easier in the last few years -- even when I started last year, if you wanted lots and lots of vapor, you had to sub-ohm with a mech, which meant learning everything you could about battery safety first and foremost, then learning to build your own coils and wick them. Now there's all these sub-ohm tanks, 200w mods for heaven's sake, so sub-ohming, per se, isn't really necessary any longer, to get a really vaporous vape. I'm just grateful I never had to deal with fish-tank foam or teabag fiber for carto filler.
So, it may not be easy to stick to vaping, during very-high-stress times, because smoking is so much easier. But one thing I had to learn in my journey in sobriety... the world isn't going to change, just because you're trying to get sober or smoke-free -- the world is still the world, filled with crap and pain. How you choose to respond, or not respond, isn't up to the world: it's up to you. That's a hard fact, but inescapable.
Andria
+1 on Andria's post. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and quitting smoking is definitely worth doing. Vaping has become much easier than it was in the past. That's why it took me 3 separate tries over the course of 4 years to be able to do it successfully.
While reverting to smoking is easier in times of stress, I think that if you're more into the hobby aspects of it, it has the potential of taking your mind off that stress. If you're building coils and or DIYing juice you have less time on your hands to brood about your situation. I find that when I start to become bored or complacent about vaping even getting vape mail renews my interest again. Testing out a new mod or topper, building new coils or even tasting new juice is enough to get me going.
While reverting to smoking is easier in times of stress, I think that if you're more into the hobby aspects of it, it has the potential of taking your mind off that stress. If you're building coils and or DIYing juice you have less time on your hands to brood about your situation. I find that when I start to become bored or complacent about vaping even getting vape mail renews my interest again. Testing out a new mod or topper, building new coils or even tasting new juice is enough to get me going.
Thanks for all the support. He wasn't so good yesterday but is expected with a huge needle going in him to pull out bone marrow. Much better today. We won't get results probably until Monday and not back from mayo clinic for a week. Day by day I go. Although my head is a mess... But the better he does the better I do.
I've been diying juice for a while and recently started coil building attempts. I see your point, and I don't want to go back to smoking. I keep telling myself I have a year old part pack in my hunting coat. Well seasoned and tasty I'm sure. If I grab one of them I bet I won't go for another.
For me within a week of starting to vape cigs started tasting so nasty and I liked the juice so much better it was a no brainer. Two weeks into vaping I stopped the cigs completely, it was difficult the first 3 months as the other addictive substances worked on my body and mind but today is two years cigarette free. It was possibly more difficult because my partner still smokes, but on the other hand smelling that stink might just be what keeps me from going back. I know the hobby aspect helped immensely in my case, I started building coils and dripping about 4 or 5 months in and have just recently started DIY.
I've been DIY'ing for a while now, because it's hard to find good juice that's 100%VG, or even maxVG. I have to relearn what nic strength I can handle, however, because I'm not used to this MVP 20w.
I have the same problem in the opposite direction, I need at least 85% PG... though lately I've gone to 86%, still wheezing a little late at night after I've been vaping for 12-ish hrs.
Also I think my tastebuds are still at least halfway comatose, after 39 yrs of smoking; most "bought" juice is kinda tasteless to me, just a nice smell but little flavor; when I first started making my strawberry & cream, I was amazed, ejuice I could actually taste! But it's 31% flavor, and lots of sweetener too.
Just this past week I had 2-3 days where nothing really tasted right, but that seems to be passing. Thank heavens.
Andria
I found out early in my vaping experience that I was super-sensitive to PG--I can't vape any more than 20%.
Right now I'm vaping 0 nic peach, max VG, until I can figure out what nic strength I need. The dual coil tanks are fouling me up some. Also, I started playing with the wattage, going from 9w to 12w, with 12mg e juice, and I think I've made myself nic-sick. This is a whole new learning curve for me.
Right now I'm vaping 0 nic peach, max VG, until I can figure out what nic strength I need. The dual coil tanks are fouling me up some. Also, I started playing with the wattage, going from 9w to 12w, with 12mg e juice, and I think I've made myself nic-sick. This is a whole new learning curve for me.
The nic sick is horrible; the first I tried was 18mg, gack! Then I tried some 12mg, also gack, it just took a little longer. Finally got some 6mg and was able to start vaping regularly. I was up to 10mg in Kayfuns a few months ago, but since I got my Achilles RDAs, I've gone down to 9mg just because the Achilles has TH like crazy. Once I'm finally done with the WTA and stable, I think I'll try to get down to about 5mg for the cold months, to see if it helps my miserably cold hands and feet.
It didn't take me long either, to figure out that with too much VG, I simply can't breathe. I thought it was because of my asthma, but other asthmatics around here can't handle PG at all, so I dunno, I just can't inhale much VG or it clogs my lungs up completely.
Andria
It didn't take me long either, to figure out that with too much VG, I simply can't breathe. I thought it was because of my asthma, but other asthmatics around here can't handle PG at all, so I dunno, I just can't inhale much VG or it clogs my lungs up completely.
Andria
That's the same with me lately, nothing tastes right. Food tastes fine, but my juices taste either wrong or unpleasant. I wish I had some unflavored right now. I guess I'll buy some.
I had to give up PG...or anything above 20%, I usually vape about 15%....I also couldn't abide heavy VG juices they were either flavorless, or they were geared toward cloud chasers and so the were usually lousy tasting and sweet......as a result the only heavy or 100% VG juices I could stomach were NET juices.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
The one time I thought I wanted a cig during a really stressful situation, I bought a Mark Ten (menthol) from the gas station......it is cig sized and quite strong! And simulated smoking quite a bit, though they dont last long. But now I keep one in purse. There is something about a high nic cig like vape to make one feel almost like a real smoke, at least for me!
I started off with 24mg nic and 70/30 pg/vg juice. I've since swung around to the opposite direction and vape 30/70 pg/vg at 6mg nic. PG is just too harsh for me and I like the vapor production of more VG.
I agree with picking up a cigalike when the urge seems overwhelming. When I was quitting, my last barrier was trying to vape at work when everyone else was smoking. I just couldn't do it until I bought an eRoll. I used that like a cigarette at work with the smokers and that's when I was finally able to give up the smokes completely.
I agree with picking up a cigalike when the urge seems overwhelming. When I was quitting, my last barrier was trying to vape at work when everyone else was smoking. I just couldn't do it until I bought an eRoll. I used that like a cigarette at work with the smokers and that's when I was finally able to give up the smokes completely.
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