Good morning. I have been keeping up but I have not felt like posting lately. I am pretty darn good at handling most situations that are
thrown at me but sometimes, I get blindsided. I hate it when that happens but that is life. Life is good, even when it's not. You know this is going to be another one of those long posts you will endure or skip over.
I was sort of expecting this to happen but I am no longer seeing Terry. I am not really sure what happened, which bothers me, but as always, it is what it is. I can tell you what changed for me but I do not know why he dropped me off from the coast, helped me bring in my stuff, said he would call me later, texted me a thank you for the Valentine's Day card, and then ghosted me. I have not heard one word from him since that day. I am used to strange things happening in my life and why my heart is a gated community.
I have been staying busy and on the go. I no longer think of the car as being dad's because I have completely made it my own. Or I will have when I get my Amazonian orders for the next 4 days in a row. (you know how I can go overboard when I am focusing on something) heehee Well anyway, it has helped me to stay busy and I needed a purpose to help me work
through things. I absolutely love that car and so far, I love driving it. Except on rainy days. I know it will have rain on it for the first time at some point but not yet.
This brings me to the real reason I have not been around, in case anyone has been wondering. I think most people that know me pretty well, know that if you look up dysfunctional in the dictionary, it more than likely has my family photo.
My sister (who is 4 years older than me and btw, the total opposite of me) stopped talking to me in 2008. In fact, she said she was closing the door on me. The reason was she was trying to talk me into convincing our father (who she had not talked to in 30-some years) to give her $30,000 and I would not do it. I did talk to dad and I asked him what I should do since she closed the door on me and he simply replied. . . lock it. (hence where I get my humor from).
Now here is the part that blindsided me. (I bet you never thought I would get to the point) I received a text message from my ex's brother last Friday offering condolences regarding the passing of my sister.
Although I have never wished anything bad on her, I never really thought about her not being my sister, if you know what I mean. I do not have much contact with anyone in my immediate family other than what I read on Facebook. Sad, but that is just how it is. After several days, I was glad to figure out what had happened. Evidently, she was having stomach issues and was going to the doctor. She had a tear in her colon and died in the hospital. That gives me some comfort because at least she was where they could at least manage any pain she must have experienced and hopefully she was not alone.
Another sad part is I found out her daughter is pregnant and due to deliver a son in July. It is very sad to think she never got to be a grandmother because I think she would have been excited about it.
All of this has made me reflect on the past that I do not like to dwell on. Probably the saddest part is that I think our memories help us
through times such as this and for the life of me, I have tried to find a happy memory going back from childhood to 2008. I cannot think of one. Something may come to me one day. That would be nice. I guess the only good thing that ever came out of it was I knew exactly the kind of person I did not want to be. OMgosh. The stories I could tell you that you just would not believe.
Maybe I should have just came back here and posted like nothing was wrong but that is rather difficult for me. I know I share way too much sometimes or most of the time, but it is just a part of me. Once again, I am grateful that you all allow me to be a part of your time here.
I know you get achievement awards here for posting. They should have a new category for the lengthiest posts on ECF. I am relatively sure I would be close to the top if not #1.
I hope I have not ruined the "Good Morning" I started you off with my ramblings. It is just another chapter to my biography titled "Life Outside the Nut Shell".
I love you all.
Such a weird winter. 
You’ll still need to be careful and watch for icy patches. 
Dysfunctional family members I fully understand but Terry blows my mind
