WOOT, WOOT, WOOT... finally made it home from the land of flatlanders! I almost forgot how good it feels to be where there's no oxygen... ya move quicker, less drag don't ya know.
Picked up the truck from the repair shop yesterday at 5PM, headed out at 5:30, drove straight through all night and was greeted by the sight of 4 elk standing in my driveway at 9 this morning. (Never underestimate us old people, we know how to get things done.)
Had a whole bunch of vapemail, (who the hell thinks up these terms?), waiting for me but the one I was most interested in was the 'signature required' priority box. Tore into it with the excitement of a teenager on his wedding night.
And much like the wife of that teenager was left wanting in a state of utter disappointment.
Mr. O'Neil, Rob, The Modmaster, The Yankee from the Land of Trees, The Grand Poobah, The Chief Nut of All Reonuts, The Egg-roll Consumer has apparently fallen victim to the ravages of senility. The box that I had so coveted, the reason for my NASCAR pace setting, 800 mile dash home did not contain what I expected! Oh the horror, the inhumanity of it all!!!
I had ordered a 'blemished, polished, Reo Mini'. Is that what the box contained? Nay, nay I say... it did not!
There is not a blemish to be found on its
flawless skin! Not a blemish nor pimple, nor scratch, nor mar or even slight skin irritation... nothing but smooth, image reflecting polished aluminum. (I can only assume that an 'unblemished' polished Mini comes with a personal man servant... in the form of a maid of course, replete with frilly French uniform. I wonder how much more that would have been?)
As a welcoming gesture into the household I have given it the honor of providing me with
vaping pleasure whilst I recline on the couch and enjoy the NASCAR race from Dover. It will be snuggled in my shirt pocket Wednesday night as I trip the light fantastic at the club.
I'm probably going to have to get some sleep before that I suppose.
Oh, Jen, congratulations on promotion to Veteran. (I have absolutely no idea what it means but congratulations anyway.)
Jack