I toy with the idea. Great income potential because I could easily get 3k a month BUT I did not inherit this house outright. Only 60%. I had to liquidate myself to come up with the other hundreds of thousands to pay my daughter to have the house mine only. It was all in a trust and had to be satisfied legally. That was also the only way to inherit the property taxes as parent to child transfer. All of my money went into doing this. I would not have the money to buy another without selling this. I am NOT agreeable to having a mortgage. I refuse to give my money to another in the form of interest so my plan was to pay cash. Probably not the smartest thing to do but the easiest. I am almost sixty and I already know my mind is not as sharp as it used to be. In the mornings I feel like I will keep it and rent it out. By evening, when I am tired, I think "just get yourself to a place where you can rest"
I do have a travelers heart...BUT I am almost 60
I agree 100% with this, LOL. With the husband, well, we will make SOMETHING work, for sure.
My mom just asked me if I wanted her 4K worth of Tibetan bowls, to sell. I am not turning THAT down. The husband was like, "We should go to Sedona!"
I was like, "Are you nuts, that is the WORST place to sell them! I'm selling them on Ebay and or somewhere else. LOL. Like we need to go to Sedona just now. They aren't hurting for Tibetan bowls to sell, that's for sure. I guess they're like, certified authentic or something? I think the parent feels bad.
I really hope I can find part time work, but it may involve being poor-er for a bit. I was NOT countin on the darn, 9K air conditioner, the husband presented it as something of a "surprise." Great, thanks honey, still would rather do it WITH him though.
Anna
You will like that mod. I've had mine a little over six months and it has only one issue--the TCR for the SS setting is a bit too high. It has a TCR mode though, and that works beautifully. Like other Smoant mods, it has a 3.3v battery charge cutoff. That's not a con to me because I'm usually swapping batteries out before that anyway. It's actually good for your batteries.
thank you
My girl is 35 and just finished her first year of sobriety. As the mother of a serious addict I can tell you the bruises and heartache gets real. I did it to my mom and my daughter to me. 12 years of this and I sometimes felt I was going to bury my child before I died. Georgia has a horrible Opiate epidemic going on.
I had two dreams, one was to move home (flee from watching it anymore) to California, the other was to have a sober daughter that I could have a good relationship with. My moms passing gave both opportunities at the same time. I am the trustee of my daughters money so I strong armed her "No money until you go to rehab" She fought, threatened me with court, etc. I stood firm. She went. I realized forcing someone to go is not as good as them choosing to go but I saw a desperation in her eyes, I knew she did not want to be who she was. I felt if she could just get a taste of sobriety, and a hope that she could do it, it might work. A few months into it and she said "this is the best thing I have ever done."
Boom there I was with both dreams a possibility and I had to choose one, each one conflicting with the other. I choose California because it was time to think about me. I had raised her one child, her son, brutal. He is ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and ADD and Depression (like the rest of us, her and me) I needed a break. I also realized she needed to sink or swim on her own without me managing her and her disease. She is alone now, with her two year old daughter and only her alcoholic father. Her son is almost 18 and he comes and goes. The fathers of both of her children nearby but no real support system. I can be that now. I am no longer burnt out.
If I may....don't rush into anything before you are 100% certain. You can always rent your house and take some time to decide after to get to the new place. Heck, rent a place for 6 months. The 'things' you ran from before may still be there (at the new place) and this way at least you will have options without totally closing a chapter of your life that you may end up regretting. Don't make life altering decisions when you feel pressured. Been down that road myself and realized the only pressure I was feeling I was doing to myself.I toy with the idea. Great income potential because I could easily get 3k a month BUT I did not inherit this house outright. Only 60%. I had to liquidate myself to come up with the other hundreds of thousands to pay my daughter to have the house mine only. It was all in a trust and had to be satisfied legally. That was also the only way to inherit the property taxes as parent to child transfer. All of my money went into doing this. I would not have the money to buy another without selling this. I am NOT agreeable to having a mortgage. I refuse to give my money to another in the form of interest so my plan was to pay cash. Probably not the smartest thing to do but the easiest. I am almost sixty and I already know my mind is not as sharp as it used to be. In the mornings I feel like I will keep it and rent it out. By evening, when I am tired, I think "just get yourself to a place where you can rest"
I do have a travelers heart...BUT I am almost 60
60 is NOT old. You may have another 20+ years left(especially since you vape now). No one knows.
Sorry if I have overstepped any boundaries but felt compelled to post this. Good luck with any decision you make.
Man, as a person in recovery I have to say, fantastic job! I'm so happy for you, and I 100% agree that without consequences, it's very hard to achieve recovery, so GOOD for you for standing firm, and I wish my mom had done some things differently for sure. Fortunately, I was able to put my own recovery (and al-anon) skills to use with my own kiddo, although it was the court system that was the final push my son needed. I made him to go rehab. I got him a lawyer. I let him know that his FIRST time would be the FINAL time he received aid, but really, being on probation for 9 months was SO GOOD for him. He's no longer actively seeking out substances although he does it his way, really which is fine.
I could tell he was miserable on the inside and I sure was in active addiction, so good for you for being an AWESOME parent. It takes a while to get to "happy sobriety" and I am so glad your prayers were realized!
Anna
No overstepping at all. Thank you for your words of wisdom.If I may....don't rush into anything before you are 100% certain. You can always rent your house and take some time to decide after to get to the new place. Heck, rent a place for 6 months. The 'things' you ran from before may still be there (at the new place) and this way at least you will have options without totally closing a chapter of your life that you may end up regretting. Don't make life altering decisions when you feel pressured. Been down that road myself and realized the only pressure I was feeling I was doing to myself.
60 is NOT old. You may have another 20+ years left(especially since you vape now). No one knows.
Sorry if I have overstepped any boundaries but felt compelled to post this. Good luck with any decision you make.
Thanks. Took my 29 year chip in October or 2017. My mom enabled me ridiculously too. I cannot count the times she bailed me out of jail.
thank you
My girl is 35 and just finished her first year of sobriety. As the mother of a serious addict I can tell you the bruises and heartache gets real. I did it to my mom and my daughter to me. 12 years of this and I sometimes felt I was going to bury my child before I died. Georgia has a horrible Opiate epidemic going on.
I had two dreams, one was to move home (flee from watching it anymore) to California, the other was to have a sober daughter that I could have a good relationship with. My moms passing gave both opportunities at the same time. I am the trustee of my daughters money so I strong armed her "No money until you go to rehab" She fought, threatened me with court, etc. I stood firm. She went. I realized forcing someone to go is not as good as them choosing to go but I saw a desperation in her eyes, I knew she did not want to be who she was. I felt if she could just get a taste of sobriety, and a hope that she could do it, it might work. A few months into it and she said "this is the best thing I have ever done."
Boom there I was with both dreams a possibility and I had to choose one, each one conflicting with the other. I choose California because it was time to think about me. I had raised her one child, her son, brutal. He is ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and ADD and Depression (like the rest of us, her and me) I needed a break. I also realized she needed to sink or swim on her own without me managing her and her disease. She is alone now, with her two year old daughter and only her alcoholic father. Her son is almost 18 and he comes and goes. The fathers of both of her children nearby but no real support system. I can be that now. I am no longer burnt out.
We dragged my son to one rehab after another. I really thought the last one ‘took’ and then his dad got sick. I know that’s enough to send a person spiraling, but he seemed to be hanging tough.
I’m not sure if he stayed sober or not, next thing I knew he got into it with my daughter. Big blow up. For whatever reason, he cut me out of his life, as well as his sister. Haven’t spoken to him in over a year, haven’t seen my grandkids either.
I think in part he took it out on me because he was under the assumption that when his dad died, he’d get a chunk of the estate. I also think he thinks his sister did, but not him. Not true either way.
I tried to explain, when a parent dies, the surviving parent still has to live. I’m still living in this house. I’m still driving my car. I still have bills to pay, and without his dad’s income. Now, when I die, they’d split it. Or they would have. I gave him a few months to be mad, and hopefully come to his senses, but when he didn’t, I changed my will. I won’t have him blow through everything ( well half of everything) we worked so hard for.
When my husband first died, I sold his Harley and split that between the kids. That’s more than I got, when my dad died.
I’d gladly give him something to remember his dad by, if he’d come, civilly, and ask. But the house, the stuff, any money? No. I’m not funding his habit. I’ll not pay his way to killing himself. My daughter is hardworking, good with money, mature. I know if she had a bit of cash she wouldn’t go off the deep end.
I’m so glad your daughter is doing well. Gives me hope, you know? I hope this all works out well for you, for everyone.
1 year is awesome. It starts with 1 day, repeat...thank you
My girl is 35 and just finished her first year of sobriety. As the mother of a serious addict I can tell you the bruises and heartache gets real. I did it to my mom and my daughter to me. 12 years of this and I sometimes felt I was going to bury my child before I died. Georgia has a horrible Opiate epidemic going on.
I had two dreams, one was to move home (flee from watching it anymore) to California, the other was to have a sober daughter that I could have a good relationship with. My moms passing gave both opportunities at the same time. I am the trustee of my daughters money so I strong armed her "No money until you go to rehab" She fought, threatened me with court, etc. I stood firm. She went. I realized forcing someone to go is not as good as them choosing to go but I saw a desperation in her eyes, I knew she did not want to be who she was. I felt if she could just get a taste of sobriety, and a hope that she could do it, it might work. A few months into it and she said "this is the best thing I have ever done."
Boom there I was with both dreams a possibility and I had to choose one, each one conflicting with the other. I choose California because it was time to think about me. I had raised her one child, her son, brutal. He is ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and ADD and Depression (like the rest of us, her and me) I needed a break. I also realized she needed to sink or swim on her own without me managing her and her disease. She is alone now, with her two year old daughter and only her alcoholic father. Her son is almost 18 and he comes and goes. The fathers of both of her children nearby but no real support system. I can be that now. I am no longer burnt out.
If I could do it anyone that wants to can
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My mom bailed my kid out of jail (he was living with her at the time). He was going the whole, "I don't remember, someone must have spiked my drink!" route, but his "pals" all attended the hearing, my mom was like, "Oh, so nice they came." I was like, "Mom, it's not nice at ALL, they're here to see what trouble THEY are in, I am going outside and DEMANDING answers, LOL.
She followed me outside as I "interrogated" them and LOL, turns out the kid took 16 hits of acid and I got the WHOLE story and shoed them on their way."
Then, I turned to my mom and said, "Since YOU are picking him up, make sure to see if his amnesia has returned, and if it hasn't, CONFRONT him." LOL. I was at a social work conference at the time, and I spent the ENTIRE conference at home, on the phone with insurance companies, as the first rehab kicked him out, without telling me why. So, I went down there, full of IRE, and pretty much MADE the lady tell me what happened. I guess my son wound up shouting at the cops, "I'm on acid, just shoot me, just shoot me!"
I turned to my kiddo who had been netted and road rashed and said, "You deserve EVERY bad thing that came to you, if *I* were your cop, you would have been TAZERED at best, and shot at worst, hopefully not fatally. You are a ......" Then I took him home and kept him under a tight leash and LOL woke up and when 8 a.m. hit, just called Cigna and ARGUED with them until I could get a single case agreement since they didn't HAVE any in network facilities in the state.
I was NEVER so happy to get rid of the kid for a month (I did visit) Sierra Tucson, they were pretty bad as far as rehab. They were like "please give us any food or contraband in your purse." I was like, "You aren't going to check it? Seriously? Rich people enable too, you know." LOL, the team was not very "happy" with me because I was like, "Yeah, that little charmer you see? He's really not as charming as you think nor am I as dreadful as you believe."
They were going to TAXI HIM to the scene of the crime, that was his "support network." I WENT ape and told them if they did that, I would sue them 7 ways to Sunday. I was like, You can send him HOME, or taxi him to ME (the kid declined to have me collect him, the little sod.)
The morning after his d/c I got this frantic call about not finding his stuff, and accidentally overdosing on ambien and trazodone, and WELL I went over there and said, "I don't know whether to commit you, or kill you." Heh.
One of the worst weeks of all time, but with the best outcome. The Court was SO great at sobering up my kiddo, I can ALMOST look back at it and laugh.
Addicts don't do half measures, parents shouldn't either, IMO. My work was really nice about it I offered to reimburse them but they were like,
"Let's just pretend this conversation did not happen. etc."
OOOH I can still feel that fire in my veins though. LOL I was like, "man I partially wish the cops HAD listened to him, so I don't have to mortally wound him myself. LOL.
Anna
She followed me outside as I "interrogated" them and LOL, turns out the kid took 16 hits of acid and I got the WHOLE story and shoed them on their way."
Then, I turned to my mom and said, "Since YOU are picking him up, make sure to see if his amnesia has returned, and if it hasn't, CONFRONT him." LOL. I was at a social work conference at the time, and I spent the ENTIRE conference at home, on the phone with insurance companies, as the first rehab kicked him out, without telling me why. So, I went down there, full of IRE, and pretty much MADE the lady tell me what happened. I guess my son wound up shouting at the cops, "I'm on acid, just shoot me, just shoot me!"
I turned to my kiddo who had been netted and road rashed and said, "You deserve EVERY bad thing that came to you, if *I* were your cop, you would have been TAZERED at best, and shot at worst, hopefully not fatally. You are a ......" Then I took him home and kept him under a tight leash and LOL woke up and when 8 a.m. hit, just called Cigna and ARGUED with them until I could get a single case agreement since they didn't HAVE any in network facilities in the state.
I was NEVER so happy to get rid of the kid for a month (I did visit) Sierra Tucson, they were pretty bad as far as rehab. They were like "please give us any food or contraband in your purse." I was like, "You aren't going to check it? Seriously? Rich people enable too, you know." LOL, the team was not very "happy" with me because I was like, "Yeah, that little charmer you see? He's really not as charming as you think nor am I as dreadful as you believe."
They were going to TAXI HIM to the scene of the crime, that was his "support network." I WENT ape and told them if they did that, I would sue them 7 ways to Sunday. I was like, You can send him HOME, or taxi him to ME (the kid declined to have me collect him, the little sod.)
The morning after his d/c I got this frantic call about not finding his stuff, and accidentally overdosing on ambien and trazodone, and WELL I went over there and said, "I don't know whether to commit you, or kill you." Heh.
One of the worst weeks of all time, but with the best outcome. The Court was SO great at sobering up my kiddo, I can ALMOST look back at it and laugh.
Addicts don't do half measures, parents shouldn't either, IMO. My work was really nice about it I offered to reimburse them but they were like,
"Let's just pretend this conversation did not happen. etc."
OOOH I can still feel that fire in my veins though. LOL I was like, "man I partially wish the cops HAD listened to him, so I don't have to mortally wound him myself. LOL.
Anna
Addicts are incredibly selfish. It is only themselves and their next high that is on their agenda. Know it from my own experience and from the war wounds from my daughter. If he got sober he might not be working a program. It is there, in a program that you unravel the addict thinking. The selfishness. You have the right mentality. Technically we owe out children nothing after 18. What was your husbands is also yours. We do not have to give it away until we are gone. I hope your son comes around and starts thinking the right way.
The TCR for the SS mode is set by the factory and can't be changed. The TCR mode has a value that IS adjustable. Mine is set to 094 which is just right for my dual 316L 26awg coils. I use the Smoant Battlestar RTA on my Charon and it's a perfect match. That tank is getting hard to find now. Which is a shame--it's a great genny style RTA.
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Congratulations.1 year is awesome. It starts with 1 day, repeat...
If I could do it anyone that wants to can
View attachment 747131
One day at a time, and whenever someone offers me a drink, I just tell'em "No thanks, you don't have enough."
great job!1 year is awesome. It starts with 1 day, repeat...
If I could do it anyone that wants to can
View attachment 747131
I saw Cesar Millan posted this and I immediately heard in my head - "I'm going to ride along the border with my tweezers gleaming in the moonlight at night"...
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