I got batteries today. It was hard to get excited about it because I just got home like from basically being told I was gonna die by my doc. I mean, really, she reminded me of what my mom would be like if she OVER reacted instead of under reacted to my childhood illnesses (like, my mom would be like, "If you were paying attention well you wouldn't have that knife stuck in your toe." (Decades later I kind of wanted to say to her, "If YOU had been paying attention I'd have been the MD/PhD that I wanted to be but NO you were to busy ignoring my ADHD." )
Anyway, so I do kind of look like one side of my face is David Duchovny's, it's ALL JAW and very manly, thanks to swelling. I have found the source of my like, headaches and it's another jaw infection, whee. So yeah, my husband always says part of beauty is symmetry and I sort of agree, I'm not at my best.
But she was saying stuff like, "You do realize you look ABSOLUTELY terrible? Just AWFUL? I mean.... I want you to go to the hospital actually."
I was like, "Um... But what can they do that you can't?" and she was like, "They can give you intravenous abx for one." I was like, "You know, florescent lighting is kind of harsh, I feel the same way looking at you, honestly. The fly buzzing about is not helping the general vibe, either."
Then, she got REALLY fixated on pain meds. I finally had to be like NO I AM IN RECOVERY I WAS AWAKE AND AWARE when they put these IN K? My pain on the "Anna adjusted pain scale" is about a 2 it's just kind of hard to talk."
She then went down the list, "Let me inject you with Toradol." I NEED someone to tell me how freaking fantastic that is before I ever try an injection of it frankly because to me Advil is just fine. Anyway then she went to try and find a dentist, only that failed. So she came back and said she was prescribing me 800 mg tablets of Advil. I did tell her I could count. I did tell her that I was pretty sure 4 200 mg tablets was like, 800 mg and if I became unsure of that fact, well, I'd go to the hospital, but I finally said, like, DOOD "Do you "need" to prescribe me something for pain to feel better about this encounter? Is this what is happening? Because if so by all means, I would like this appointment to end sometime." Then I just told the pharmacist to forget it.
So, she was like "I am just pretty sure this is an infection in your jaw." And I was like, "Yep, me too, and I'm pretty sure the Augmentin will help greatly, in moving me closer to the provider of my dreams, a dentist, and they can take a freaking look.
Then she asked me if I went to work like this. I said yes, and her eyes got really big and I said, "It's okay kids really like the X-files" which was kinda better than what I wanted to say, which was "Hey today, frankly, on one of my worser days, I sort of look better than you." Only, it wasn't really true, because I think my husband is right about the symmetry thing... She was kind of hideous from all angles, so it "worked" for her. I guess.
I'm sort of glad my mommy underreacted to my illnesses, instead of overreacting.
But if y'all want any of my stuff, it's yours. I have some nice stuff. LOL. Just in case I die from turning into David Duchovny because then I really would have to do something about the Alien Inside Me, even if that meant taking out the host.
Trying to work up an appetite here sometime. Today seems like a fabulous day to not do Spanish. I am a bit tired.
Anna
Anna
