So, the kid's name used to be Casey, and like, that was a family name on my ex husband's side. But I was like, "Eh, name it what you want, I'm just concentrating on not stunting it with cigarettes, and also trying my best to hope I love it." Also I think I was like, "Whatever" because I had already informed husband number #1 I was not taking his last name after marriage.
I think it was partially feminism (LOL I did suggest husband #1 change his name to MY name, and he was like, "What will people think?") but also, I had a sort of sneaking suspicion that I'd have to change it BACK at some point, and I was like "I am not going to visit the SS office, the MVA etc," (all NOT my favorite places) to change it TWICE for this one GUY.
To add insult to injury, that name turned into more of a girl's name so the kid got a bit of that.
Anyway after the husband burned ALL his bridges, including with the child, I took him to a lawyer and the lawyer reviewed ALL the kid's options. The kid heard "parental severance" and was like, "Yeah, THAT. I want to go with THAT." (Secretly I was like "OMG ME TOO, thank Jesus."
So it was really sweet, I had enthusiastically changed my last name for husband number 2 (but I really did love him, so I was excited. The first time I got called Mrs. "Lastname" it was actually a thrill) the kiddo told me he hated all his names, including his first name because they "reminded him of his dad."
Which was so awful. He was sweet. He was like, "I want to change my last name to you guyses, you are really my parents."
He asked to change his first name and he was like, 13? He did a TON of research. He decided on Wolffe, which is in fact a Sottish name I do believe, and I decided I was too traumatized to like, argue it. I just faintly asked if he would mind keeping his middle name (Dylan) which was the one *I* picked in case it might be you know, useful in job applications.
You have NO idea how hard it is to start calling your kid something else after 13 years, but I managed LOL. It really kind of suits him, actually, and well, I suppose some recruiters might be like, "Wolffe" what an interesting name and perhaps person.
Or, they might be like, "That poor child's parents he has been through so MUCH, maybe I should call him."
LOL he stands by the name. I told the ex husband about it... Twice. I figured it was fair. He must have been blitzed both times, because he was like, "Why didn't you tell me?" I was like, "I think I did."
Oh, at the parental severance you have to go on and on about how the male parent is adopting the kid and all that, in case something happens to you.
I did not do it, if only because the kid said it was not necessary and the ONE sane thing my ex did was be a workaholic and pay a fair amount of child support. I was like, "I will wring that BLOOD from that STONE until age 18 and one day."
To be fair the damn ex over the years probably cost me almost as much in legal fees and like therapy bills than his child support. The woman who got me full legal AND physical custody was a SHARK. She wrote it up so *I* decided the custody. And, I DID decide it. She also told me it would be a "miracle if he signed it."
I met the ex the day he left rehab number 2? 3? And I was like "You can sign this now or later, but you WILL sign it, my mother has WAY more money than any relatives are gonna give you and YOU will be doing this. I can also sell my house, mine WORKS, etc."
Good times.
Anna
