I never enjoyed visits to the in laws, either. They're scary as all get out, my husband is definitely the "pick of the litter" but it's not, ah, the greatest "litter" of all time, although his bio dad died when he was 1, so it's not really fair. I sometimes kind of imagine his dad was like, "I can't take any more of this!" and allowed his premature death from Khrone's disease on purpose (although everyone SAYS that he just didn't like doctors.)
I kind of don't buy that argument though, because if I was married to someone who was DYING of something, I would sort of MAKE them go to the doctor, in whatever way necessary (up to and including INVOLUNTARYING them into treatment, which is pretty super easy as a social worker, you just call and explain your spouse is suicidal and refusing treatment and after a few days on the psych ward, well, they change their tune.)
Okay, so its not particularly nice and may well result in a divorce down the line, depending, but I wouldn't be sitting around watching my spouse DIE slowly while "gently coaxing" them to "try" treatment. And if I really loved someone I'd rather have them around, parenting my kids, even if never to forgive me and etc.
Sucked for the husband too because he looks like his bio dad, and his grandmommy would always call him and treat him as if he were his dad, including the wrong name and that would've driven me BONKERS.
LOL, on our last visit, my MIL quietly informed my husband that "she should never have had kids and she deeply, deeply regretted it." I think it was an apology of a sort, but the husband and I agreed to fly her out and pay all of her costs for the trip, since he wanted his mom to "see" AZ. I don't think he took it as an "apology" exactly, because they were hiking, she has a bad hip, and he immediately declared they were "lost" and let her stew on that for a while.
My SIL and BIL visited... once. He has MR and she is bipolar and refuses to take her meds. I had to gently explain to the husband that they were never visiting again, because the BIL had a habit of "stealthy" um, self pleasuring around women, and I was not going to let my kid see THAT even one time.
Hope some of it cheers you up, JFC.
Anna