Well I wouldn’t say she really rescued me. She just raised me as a single parent and always did her best and made sure we had everything we needed /wanted for years. Now that’s what she brings up when she guilt trips me. She seems to block out a lot of stuff too. As a kid I would try to cheer her up because she was always depressed and just talking about how she wants to die. I would always try to make her happy In anyway possible. I started working when I was 14 and have always helped with money since . But it got worse over the years when my sister got her own place and my dad died so she stopped getting spousal support.
I want you to know something.
Taking care of your kids when they are young, bailing them out when they're older and make mistakes is called "normal", and every parent does it out of love. Parental responsibility entails all that and more.
Here's the deal - it was your mom's responsibility to do, and not yours to "pay back". She chose to give you life, to bring you into this world and raise you up to adulthood as no child can care for themselves - and no child should be made to feel "responsible" or guilty for the hardships that life can at times present us with.
She should be a role model for her children and not trying to raise for herself a new husband..
I was young when I gave birth to, and chose to raise, my son. Really young. I was pregnant at 14, gave birth not far outside my 15th birthday.
I had him and raised him because of love for him. I made my own choices in life - some good, some bad - but neither of my kids owed me anything for any of it. It was my job as a parent to make sure they had a roof over their heads, and food in their belly and medicine and care when they were sick and love 24/7. That was my job.
They grow they make their own mistakes they become adults themselves and they do for their own flesh and blood better than they got - which is the circle of life. We always try to do better for our children than our parents did for us..
In that, you owe your mother nothing and there is nothing in any of that for her to guilt trip you about.
My daughter needed insulin to survive, and many times after she was out on her own she called me to
buy her medicine for her - and I did so happily because I loved her.
At times my son would call me up asking me to send him money for cigarettes and/or food, and sometimes asking for food money was a ploy to get cigarette money (as if I didn't know.. lol) and I shelled out (being a smoker myself at the time and knowing what it's like..) because I love him. ..
That's called parenting. It's perfectly normal. We do things our children need us to do and we don't blink an eye and we don't ask anything in return..
So don't worry about what your mom "did" for "you".. she should have loved you enough to do it without bringing it up again as if there was some strange quid pro quo involved..
With you staying with your mom and working, sure you should pull your own weight, but your
not responsible to provide her with new furniture or anything else,
because she, as an adult, should be pulling her own weight too.
Don't let guilt over anything rule over you, you owe her nothing but a son's love - and that's neither monetary or material.
