Hey buddy. Sorry to hear you're not there yet. You're in my thoughts quite often. I admire your positive spirit
through all you're going though mate. You're an inspiration

Ah you cover the can (I do 3 or 4 together) of condensed milk with water...bring it to the boil and simmer for up to 3 hrs. Very important to keep the can covered with water all the time. It can overheat and rupture if not covered.
The time depends on how dark you like your caramel. The milk also has an influence. Minimum time I would say is 2hrs. You'll have to do some trials to see how you like it at what time...

I go dark...3 hrs.
I mix some lemon
juice with it to cut
through the intense sweetness when I use it for the chocolate cake. I love that balance of sweet and tartness.
Most important is let it cool down completely before opening...for obvious reasons