I was sitting with the wife watching one of her "educational and informative" programs on the TV some time back. It was some gibberish psycho babble delving into the phenomenon of "Mixed Emotions".
She's sitting there soaking all this rubbish up, as they do, and I'd finally had enough. I turned to her and clearly showing my superior intellect and deeper understanding of what complete and utter rubbish it all was I said, "What a load of crap this is, Go on, I bet you my left bollock you can't say something here and now that can make me happy and sad at the same time!?"
After a brief pause she replied "Out of all your family and friends, you do have the biggest *Richard*."
I don't watch TV any more, I know she is after the matched pair.