The Lurker Thread

[daleron]

Good evening Dale and lurkers

Mmm tacos!! We were supposed to have alfredo but the boys whined. They aren’t fond of the recipe, but I was trying to use up some stuff in the fridge. We ended up at BK and I will make the alfredo for my lunch this week.

I hope you were able to get the insurance stuff figured out, Rat2.

Long story short, after kiddo was born we drove to our families for every holiday. My family is at one end the a county and his is at the other end of a neighboring county. Too much driving and after some miscommunication along the way I put my foot down and said no more. When we moved into this house in 2012, we started hosting all the holidays. This will be the first cold month ones since Covid started.

Good evening Sara
So you all meet in the middle eh?

I take it you don’t care for BK?

 

[Rat2chat2]

BurgerKing is my favorite fast food restaurant. I don't go there often but now I am thinking about a Whopper.

My insurance agent did text me back. I actually like him. He emailed me where he sent the form to headquarters but he said they were around 60 days behind. I did think maybe my insurance would be a tiny bit less expensive when I took dad off but he said that it did not make a difference in the premium because dad did not have any driving points against him.

Oh well, I do not think it is anything for me to worry about. I am going to call the clerk of courts and see if I can set up an appt. for me to go file dad's will. I just cannot believe I have been dragging my feet on that. Hopefully, I will get it done soon.

I went to Aldi's today just to pick up a few groceries. I ended up buying another pair of shoes. I couldn't help it. I do not have any dark teal-colored ones. I have a dark teal shirt that they are going to look marvelous with.

Terry called tonight and talked for almost an hour. He wants to take me to that church to eat again Wednesday night. I figured he would ask me to go again just so he does not have to go alone. I liked it and you cannot beat $5 for a homecooked meal. He said they were having BBQ this week.

He also said if I didn't have any plans for tomorrow that he would like for me to go to a couple of places with him and then go down to his sisters to visit. I haven't seen her in years other than on Facebook. I always liked his family much more than I did my own.

He said he would call me in the morning after his shower to let me know when he would be here. Me thinks he has the day planned. That's okay with me because here lately I have enjoyed scooterpootin' around town. At least it will keep me from buying any shoes. Maybe?

Have a good day all!

 

[Sara Love]

Good morning lurkers

BK is ok but I prefer their competitor for burgers and fries.

Oooh, Rat2, that sounds like fun!! Whatever happened to the other two?

Have a great day everyone!

 

[daleron]

Good morning Sara and Rat2
‘That’s okay Sara, everyone has they’re druthers

Your day out with Terry sounds like something you’d really enjoy Rat2, hope it works out and you enjoy your visit with his sister.

 

[Rat2chat2]

Oooh, Rat2, that sounds like fun!! Whatever happened to the other two?

Jay was going to take me to lunch one-day last week but I didn't hear from him. Then I thought for sure I would hear from him last weekend but not a word. The last two phone calls from him has been him apologizing because he has been so busy and not doing anything with me. I know he stays busy but that is no reason he could not call or text so that makes me believe he may be trying to tell me something. I just don't know. I would rather him just tell me because I am sure I will be okay either way.

I have not heard from Derek since last weekend but he said maybe we could go out the coming weekend to eat. (of course, everyone wants to eat, heehee) I hope he does because until I go out with him I really do not know if I am interested. Just texting and calling is not the same as spending time with someone. I am also curious about going out with someone a little younger than me. Although he is only 6 years younger. I would even go out with just a little bit younger out of curiosity but I seem to have always preferred older men. I am starting to rethink that since I have gotten older. heehee

I just want to crack a few nuts and enjoy the pie right now so to speak. At some point, I think it would be wonderful to find just one (or two) for companionship and a deeper friendship but no extra toothbrush in my bathroom unless of course, it is Aquaman.

enjoy your visit with his sister.

Oh, I am positive I will. That whole family is all just down-home country people. She is a retired nurse and has several health issues. Cutting up is what they all do best. I like people like that because real life can get you down sometimes (if you let it).

I am sure my cheeks are gonna be sore tonight from smiling. heehee

I am not sure what I am going to do today but I'm pretty sure I will tell y'all all about it.

 

[daleron]

Jay was going to take me to lunch one-day last week but I didn't hear from him. Then I thought for sure I would hear from him last weekend but not a word. The last two phone calls from him has been him apologizing because he has been so busy and not doing anything with me. I know he stays busy but that is no reason he could not call or text so that makes me believe he may be trying to tell me something. I just don't know. I would rather him just tell me because I am sure I will be okay either way.

I have not heard from Derek since last weekend but he said maybe we could go out the coming weekend to eat. (of course, everyone wants to eat, heehee) I hope he does because until I go out with him I really do not know if I am interested. Just texting and calling is not the same as spending time with someone. I am also curious about going out with someone a little younger than me. Although he is only 6 years younger. I would even go out with just a little bit younger out of curiosity but I seem to have always preferred older men. I am starting to rethink that since I have gotten older. heehee

I just want to crack a few nuts and enjoy the pie right now so to speak. At some point, I think it would be wonderful to find just one (or two) for companionship and a deeper friendship but no extra toothbrush in my bathroom unless of course, it is Aquaman. View attachment 984410

Oh, I am positive I will. That whole family is all just down-home country people. She is a retired nurse and has several health issues. Cutting up is what they all do best. I like people like that because real life can get you down sometimes (if you let it). View attachment 984411 I am sure my cheeks are gonna be sore tonight from smiling. heehee

I am not sure what I am going to do today but I'm pretty sure I will tell y'all all about it.

You should probably just relax and enjoy the outings you get and ignore Jay, he obviously has other priorities. I do mean don’t accept an invitation but just try not to stress about him.

 

[Rat2chat2]

I do mean don’t accept an invitation

Do you mean if he calls do not go out with him or should I not answer the phone? I sure could use all the help I can get with understanding the male population.

My feelings get hurt real easy but thank goodness I ponder the why for a while but then I move on. I only stress temporarily and I think I have already finished with that. I want someone who wants to see me not apologize for not seeing me.

 

[Sara Love]

At this point you can’t even play hard to get because he’s not attempting to make concrete plans. Next time he calls don’t answer right away. Call him back when you have the time. If he’s busy so be it. Don’t cross him off the list entirely but move him to the bottom.

 

[Rat2chat2]

I just spot washed my hair and I go into the bathroom and plug up my hair dryer and it will not work. Darn. I thought it was the plug and this is no biggie because I have lots of others but I took it to my bathroom and plugged it in and it would not work there either. The dryer is kaput.

I saw one in the garage so I went and got it for a quick fix. I know why it was out there because the button does not work right and you have to hold in the on position. Maybe Terry will take me someplace that has them. That is a necessity and not a want like those shoes.

Thank you so much for the advice and clarification. I follow directions exceptionally well but you have to be pretty direct with me. And if you don't know it yet, I take everything literally. It is so easy to pull a joke on me that is not even funny. heehee (well, actually it is)

 

[Rat2chat2]

At this point you can’t even play hard to get

And also because I don't know how. bahahahaha

 

[Sara Love]

Everyone deserves to be happy in this situation. He seems like a nice guy albeit a little too busy (maybe) for his own good. But he needs to decide if he wants to continue to spend time with you and stick to it, otherwise he needs to stop calling. It’s a waste because nothing comes to fruition

If he is truly interested. Not answering the phone at the exact moment he calls and giving him some time to wonder if you will return that call is kinda playing hard to get. IMO. Maybe you are actually busy doing something but he doesn’t know that. Call him later and don’t apologize for not being available. Tell him all about your latest adventures. Never make it sound like you were waiting around for him.

 

[ShowMeTwice]

Do you mean if he calls do not go out with him or should I not answer the phone? I sure could use all the help I can get with understanding the male population.

I'll share my thoughts with you Rat...

If Jay is interested in any kind of relationship with you he would text or call. Basically he would want to share his life with you and he should absolutely show interest when you are sharing your Life with him. If you sense he is not Interested in you... Move On.

It sounds to me like Jay is blowing you off and he is not in touch with his own ability to communicate exactly how he feels. IMO, you do not want a guy who is a poor communicator.

Communications are the Foundation that any, and all, relationships are Built Upon. If that foundation of communications is Weak, Lacking or Nonexistent... you have Nothing, no relationship of any kind. Doesn't matter if it's friends, family, lovers or a marriage.

If Jay is not communicating then... Move On.

In any relationship, each party should be more than willing to communicate Exactly How they are Feeling at any given time. And the other party should demonstrate Active Participation. Sounds like you Do Not have that with Jay.

In relationships of any kind... neither party should be left guessing about the other party. If you feel like you are left guessing (sounds like you are) then... Move On.

To me Jay sounds like a very poor communicator... if that's the case... Move On. You want someone who Shares with You... not someone who plays Games.

Rat, use your Intuition, it's a powerful instinctive tool All have. Trust what yours is telling you. You know your intuition way better than you may think... it's been with you your whole Life. It's that immediate feeling, knowing or understanding. Some call it their Gut Feeling. Don't think or reason!!! Our intuition is far smarter than our Brain.

As to relationships with Women... my Pops told me when I was young, "son there are millions of fish in the sea".

As a guy, that's what I have to offer.

 

[ShowMeTwice]

@Rat2chat2, lolz... I've thought of more...

If I were you... I would have a talk with Jay. In person is best, that way you will get the best Read and Feedback from him on your relationship. When you talk to Jay, ask him to be Open and very Honest with his answers.

Tell him what your intentions and expectations are for a relationship. Ask him what his intentions and expectations are for a relationship.

On my very first date with the girl who would be my wife, of nearly 40 years, we talked about what makes Successful Communications, Relationships and Marriages. We got right down into it all. We agreed with each others answers. When I got home that night I told my parents "I found the gal I'm going to marry". We were married 6 months later (at 18 and 20). And very honestly, I would marry her all over again... in a heartbeat!!!

Ask Jay what is he looking for in a relationship. Tell him what you are looking for. Ask him why he isn't calling or texting. Pay very close attention to all his answers and his body language. If he fidgets or is uneasy or is unable to effectively communicate, well, then you know what to do... Move On.

IMO women prefer men who are able to easily communicate their true thoughts and deepest feelings effectively (without hiding anything), are easy going, very confident in their own skin and are comfortably relaxed as a person... at the very basic minimum.

Don't accept the "I've been busy" excuse, IMO it's a lame one. And it is nonsense in today's world... everyone has at least a few minutes throughout a day to send a simple text message. Ya know, something simple like "I just wanted to say hi and I'm thinking about you"... that only takes seconds to type and hit send!!! IMO, if Jay is interested in a relationship with you he would have been calling or texting regularly.

Thinking back to my younger days, when I was interested in a chick... I doggedly pursued her. Never blew her off. Never said "I've been busy". I would call daily (we didn't have texting yet). Frequently bought her flowers. Always opened her car door, and then shut it. Ya know, the things that, to me, are obvious no-brainers.

But yeah... Some guys are oblivious to the obvious. And some guys are not

 

[Rat2chat2]

Thank you all so much. It is so helpful for me to lay on your virtual couches and figure things out. I'll get better at it, I am sure but this is all so new to me. You have to remember, I dated and married the first little boy I liked. There are things I should have learned long ago. I may be an old dog, but I can still learn new tricks.

Thank you again for the wonderful advice.

 

[Rat2chat2]

Tell him what your intentions and expectations are for a relationship. Ask him what his intentions and expectations are for a relationship.

I did that from the get-go. And I thought we were on the same page. Everyone always knows where I stand. I am more than likely the most open person you will ever know.

I think all of the responses are good, sound advice. They make sense to me too. I will not write him off because I think we could still be friends. I always have a tendency to give people too many chances but it is just the way I am. At some point, I will make the decision to move on. Actually, I consider myself moving on already. I am definitely not waiting on him or anyone else for that matter.

What we go through in our life plays a big part in who we are. I hope I never give up on trying to be a better person. I am not sure yet what I want but I think I am on the right path and eventually, I may or may not get there. It really does not matter as long as I enjoy the journey.

A little bit of my philosophy and what makes me. . . me.

Thank you all again.

 

[daleron]

Do you mean if he calls do not go out with him or should I not answer the phone? I sure could use all the help I can get with understanding the male population. View attachment 984420

My feelings get hurt real easy but thank goodness I ponder the why for a while but then I move on. I only stress temporarily and I think I have already finished with that. I want someone who wants to see me not apologize for not seeing me.

Sorry that didn’t come out right, I meant if you want to accept a date with Jay do so, if you’re busy well he should know how that is
‘Just don’t let your feelings be hurt. If the apologies bother you tell him to stop, either do what he says he will or just don’t bother you.

 

[daleron]

Lols I should have checked the thread before responding to the first thing I saw

Hey SMT
Good to see you here

 

[Sara Love]

Good evening Dale and lurkers

Good advice all around

 

[daleron]

Good evening Dale and lurkers

Good advice all around

Hi Sara
‘Enjoying your time off?

 

[daleron]

Good night all