Tomorrow, I have to wrap gifts, especially those for the kids, which I'll give them on Monday.
This evening, I tutored, and everything went OK, but I had a long, heart-to-heart talk with the boy. He is just not trying. After those few times when he seemed to improve, now he has fallen back into sloth. Why? So I probed, trying to understand. I got a lot of sulky, "I don't know" before we got down to some answers, but, unless they're excuses, here they are. He can't sleep well at night, he's always tired. He has trouble falling asleep. He has a heavy schedule, with piano lessons, violin lessons, swim team, tutoring, free swim on Sundays, and regular school. I asked him which activity he'd want to give up to make more room in his life, and he said swim team, because there's a boy that picks on him. He said he doesn't like using his imagination. I try to get him to think up things when he has to write about something, and that's what he meant. It's not that he can't understand, but that if I ask what a character's motivation was, he's not into thinking about it. He said he wants to learn more about science, like atoms, and recently, he asked about Blackbeard, the pirate. I have to make his reading more interesting, I think. I need to spark some life in this guy! He's perfectly polite, does what I say, but it's always the minimum, never excited to learn or curious. I explained how this is a waste of my time and his and his parents' money. He agreed. When I suggested discontinuing tutoring him, he was against it. Is that because he doesn't want to tell me to my face that he'd rather not? Is it because his parents would be mad if I suggested it?
I went afterward to talk to his mom, and she seemed to think that he has plenty of leisure time, when he plays on his iPad. I suggested a scheduled time when he must do the homework, and a place free of distractions. He mentioned that he can't concentrate when his sister and brother are playing and making noise nearby, and I've seen this myself. We work in the basement of their home, where it's divided into 2 rooms: a study area and a toy area, where the kids sometimes play. Today, I had to shoo the 2 siblings out of the room when we were talking because they were in and out, cutting papers, talking, etc.
I think the main problem in this family is that the parents and grandmother don't monitor the kids enough. They don't really interact with them. They don't talk over their problems. For instance, the bully at swim team. I asked the boy if he had told his mom or dad about this, and he said no. I said he should find a time to talk to his mom about things like this.
The parents are so focused on their restaurant and so hardworking that they ignore the kids. The grandmother is there, but she watches TV, talks on the phone, or is upstairs somewhere. The kids are left too much to their own
devices, IMHO.
I don't think this will change, and it's a shame, because I'm afraid we'll lose the boy in the process. He needs some kind of help, and I don't know what to do. I'm not a psychotherapist, though I tried to play one today in a small way, trying to find out what is keeping the boy from doing well.
Then I went to the new girl. She is doing very well! I have no problems with her, other than she tends to chat a lot, and I have to stop her and direct her back to her work. Also, she still tends to read things that aren't there, making up what she thinks will come next in the story rather than reading what's really on the page. But she's getting better. Those are just her weak points, plus, of course, writing, which seems to stymie all the kids compared to their other skills.
The new girl's mom was there today, and she wants me to tutor the older brother, age 12, once a week, on Saturday. Thats OK, since I can just go an hour early and teach him, then do the 3 from the restaurant owners, the original kids, and then come back for his younger sister. The new boy and girl live about a half block from the restaurant, where I park and where I often pick up and deliver those kids, so breaking up the visits isn't as big a problem as it might sound.
I still have no news about the Egyptian kids, so I've decided to not count on that. I think they are still not in this country.
So, tomorrow, I wrap gifts, and Monday is the big celebration, where I give the gifts, the kids unwrap them, we sing carols, and then we do a little work. I'll be away over Christmas, so they are looking forward to the vacation from school as well as from me.
