Heather's Heavenly Vapes - THE BIG THREAD (Part 6)

[Opinionated]

something tells me it isnt his...

And that's rather what we all think. The dates of her pregnancy weren't close enough to the last time my son had visited for her to try and play it off as my sons at the time.. which I honestly think she would have done if she could. Especially seeing as how she asked my son to marry her anyway and take the baby as his own at that time even though it wasn't his, according to her and according to how far along she said she was back then.

So, fingers crossed as to this not being his... but they would have to know my son would ask for a dna test... one would think, only an idiot would think otherwise. And that is what is worrying to me, and leaves me with the question. .

 

[Bronze]

And that's rather what we all think. The dates of her pregnancy weren't close enough to the last time my son had visited for her to try and play it off as my sons at the time.. which I honestly think she would have done if she could. Especially seeing as how she asked my son to marry her anyway and take the baby as his own at that time even though it wasn't his, according to her and according to how far along she said she was back then.

So, fingers crossed as to this not being his... but they would have to know my son would ask for a dna test... one would think, only an idiot would think otherwise. And that is what is worrying to me, and leaves me with the question. .

Does he have any rights as far as being able to get proof (one way or the other) now that she made the suggestion?

 

[kkay59]

I agree with BK. I think it is a ruse. Still it would be very wise to get a paternity test done. I cannot emphasize that enough.

 

[Opinionated]

Does he have any rights as far as being able to get proof (one way or the other) now that she made the suggestion?

He can ask her permission to go get a dna test at his expense - which he has done as of yesterday.

Whether they provide the child for the testing I'm sure is up in the air, he has to call around and find out where to get the testing at and coordinate appointments for it still.

However, if they refuse to provide the girl for DNA testing, then he would have to hire a lawyer and get an injunction preventing her from leaving state until DNA testing can be done, and let a court order the DNA test. (Shes moving to another state within the month)

So yeah, he has some recourse for finding out, but it will definitely be costly if courts and lawyers get involved - and will have to be done quickly before she leaves Ohio.

 

[Bronze]

He can ask her permission to go get a DNA test at his expense - which he has done as of yesterday.

Whether they provide the child for the testing I'm sure is up in the air, he has to call around and find out where to get the testing at and coordinate appointments for it still.

However, if they refuse to provide the girl for DNA testing, then he would have to hire a lawyer and get an injunction preventing her from leaving state until DNA testing can be done, and let a court order the DNA test. (Shes moving to another state within the month)

So yeah, he has some recourse for finding out, but it will definitely be costly if courts and lawyers get involved - and will have to be done quickly before she leaves Ohio.

If it turns out to be his child then he should pay for it. If it's not his child then she should pay for it. Including any legal fees.

 

[Opinionated]

If it turns out to be his child then he should pay for it. If it's not his child then she should pay for it. Including any legal fees.

I would agree with that, but that's never what happens in a real life scenario....

Hes willing to fork over for the test though, just to know for sure and either put it to rest or have something legal to go to court with. Because if she's his he damn sure is planning on being in her life.

 

[kkay59]

Papaw, you may be right about the King line in her heritage. It is also possible that she has some Eastern European bloodlines. Since her mom was 100 pounds, and trim but muscular...that puts her above a male GSD size for sure. I saw two of her brothers from a previous litter, and they were both big dogs. Neither of them had their ears up though. Both of them had a deep chest. One was colored like Bella, the other was colored like the Aussie daddy. The Aussie daddy seemed to be at the upper limit in size for an Aussie too. Both of Bella's parents and siblings from a previous litter were working dogs. The mixture made a perfect livestock dog, and property protection too. Funny thing is Bella was the RUNT of the litter. I wish I knew how big her siblings from this litter were!

kkay, there is such a thing as a "King" GSD. There males I've seen go about 125- 130 lbs. Maybe Bella has a King GSD in her bloodline.

 

[Robino1]

I know this probably makes me look like a bad parent,

NO it doesn't. If it makes you a bad parent, I must be despicable. My daughter has three kids. All have different dads. She was never married to any of them. At least with the last child, she is still with him. Her longest relationship. She picked real winners in her life. Trying to save people is not conducive to healthy relationships.

And that's rather what we all think. The dates of her pregnancy weren't close enough to the last time my son had visited for her to try and play it off as my sons at the time.. which I honestly think she would have done if she could. Especially seeing as how she asked my son to marry her anyway and take the baby as his own at that time even though it wasn't his, according to her and according to how far along she said she was back then.

So, fingers crossed as to this not being his... but they would have to know my son would ask for a DNA test... one would think, only an idiot would think otherwise. And that is what is worrying to me, and leaves me with the question. .

Um, I think she is an idiot to begin with

 

[Opinionated]

NO it doesn't. If it makes you a bad parent, I must be despicable. My daughter has three kids. All have different dads. She was never married to any of them. At least with the last child, she is still with him. Her longest relationship. She picked real winners in her life. Trying to save people is not conducive to healthy relationships.



Um, I think she is an idiot to begin with

At least I'm not alone with kids who make bad choices.. hahaha.. Oh well, we all have some manner of bad choices on our records in life... it's why I don't knock my kids for their own. It's definitely their life to live, we can't do it for them.

And your right, she (my sons ex) is an idiot, though I'm not sure idiot actually covers it! Lol...

 

[Bronze]

To Opine's almost-daughter-in-law and Robin's daughter: Good men are rare to find. When you find one you had better hang on, not let go, and treat them well. This applies to the men too.

The lesson in all this? Don't be an idiot!

 

[kkay59]

Kids make mistakes, and so do grown people who are above 30. Hopefully you learn from your mistakes, that is key. Young adults for the most part don't want to take heed from their parent's advice. They think we are ancient, and things have changed! Not much has "changed" really. Opinionated, I had to be a mother and a father to my kids. Their dad and I split up before my son was born. I told my son when he was an older teen to be careful who he dated. I went to a fair amount of detail, that I won't say verbatim here. I let him know that mistakes happen. You don't want to be saddled up with a girl who wouldn't make a good mother for your children. You may think it is all fun and games, but when a child is involved...it can be rough. Do you want a woman to raise your kid with men running in and out of your child's life? You have no say in it at all. Do you want strange men to influence your child, or do you want to be the main influence? I said some other things too, but hopefully it set in for him. He was embarrassed that his mama was telling him these things. He needed to hear it loud and clear. Don't think my daughter got off the hook either! HA. I gave her the female version of my advice.

 

[EleanorR]

Well.. I'm something, don't know what atm.

Several years ago my son had found a young divorcee that he decided he not only loved but wanted to marry. She lived in another state so he was away from her and out of state while they were planning their wedding.

Normally not a bad thing, he was working on buying a house and accepted a promotion at his job to make sure he could support her and her two small children, who he was planning on taking as his own.

Well, their relationship went south about 6 months prior to their wedding date. She had been upset that he wasn't "there for her" - even though he was doing his best going to visit on as many weekends as he could. At one point I thought she was acting crazy, jealous of even his time with me, and told my son he might be better served calling the wedding off. He wouldn't listen - he loved her.

Which was fine as it was his life to live. Well, one day she called him up and told him that she had been sleeping with someone else since he "wasn't there for her", and that she was now pregnant with some other guy's child.

Sigh. She tried to blame my son and guilt him into marrying her any way since if he "had been there she never would have slept with another guy" My son loved her so much he almost did go ahead and marry her... but then he finally decided to break it off with her.

He was absolutely crushed, to the extent that she is the reason he is still single - he doesn't want to trust like that again, he's been afraid to.

So, fast forward to now. They still have friends in common and now that my son is back in Ohio she knows it - and called him up at her current husband's behest.

Her and her current husband are about to move out of state, and before they go they want him to know that her now 8 year old daughter "might be" my son's child. Lol...

Now, she was so sure the child wasn't my son's back when she first found out she was pregnant that she ruined her own wedding, that she wanted or she wouldn't have told him she cheated in the first place and then tried making into his fault that he should forgive her for, she just would have told him it was his at the time.

But now, almost 9 years later, she told her husband that the girl might be my sons and the new husband thinks my son should know so they told him hey, you might have a kid.

My son is asking for DNA testing to be done at his expense - and told me what's going on last night.

I'm a little upset, we both are. First, if it is my grandchild not to be in this child's life for my son is a crime. Second, no way I want this crazy women raising my grandchild, my son feels the same... she's nuts, and she might actually have my grandchild. That's a horrific thought.

My husband is coming at this from a, this might be all a ruse of some kind - meaning, they may just be trying to play my son for a fool and get money from him. Either that or she lied to her new husband about who the father of the girl might be not wanting to tell him she couldn't keep her legs closed when she was previously engaged.

I've seen a picture, and the girl looks nothing like us, so it could be.

So now, we wait and see if we can't get a DNA test done, and I'm just holding my breath.

If she is my sons, then we have to figure out 8 years of her not knowing who her family is. That's a daunting thought...

I know this probably makes me look like a bad parent, my son having sex out of wedlock, and God knows this story is a poster advertisement for why we should never do this... but it is what it is and I'm just worried.

I would rather this be some kind of a ruse to get money from my son or all just a lie than it to be true. I've got a lot against a child being raised not knowing who their family is... and this takes the cake.

Ah damn, Opinionated, this just infuriates me! I am so sorry for your son, but I'm with your hubby on this -- it's a scam to shake your son down for some money.

Here's hoping for a NEGATIVE DNA match!!

 

[kkay59]

Retic, how are you doing now? I haven't forgotten about you. I hope you are getting better. Maybe BK can run over there and bring you something from a local store. He is always running the roads with his job. I don't know how he can do all that with very little sleep. You can't cook your own food right now, so I hope your wife can cook! Tasty food is good for the soul, but then you already know that!

 

[76bridget]

@Opinionated my son's GF (age 17) lives with us. We have legal guardianship of her now. You are NOT a bad parent. We do what we have to do. I too hope the DNA shows your son is not the father.

@Robino1 I do not go too low on carbs either. I do not count calories, carbs, nothing. I just focus on eating real food. I have read a lot on Keto, and a patient of mine (that had cancer) said her doc recommended Keto for her. You've got this.

 

[Bronze]

Retic, how are you doing now? I haven't forgotten about you. I hope you are getting better. Maybe BK can run over there and bring you something from a local store. He is always running the roads with his job. I don't know how he can do all that with very little sleep. You can't cook your own food right now, so I hope your wife can cook! Tasty food is good for the soul, but then you already know that!

I always like to see Ret's likes. Signals that his head is in the game (at least somewhat), if not the rest of his body.

@Opinionated my son's GF (age 17) lives with us. We have legal guardianship of her now. You are NOT a bad parent. We do what we have to do. I too hope the DNA shows your son is not the father.

That ought to be interesting.

 

[Bunnykiller]

and where does a snowman keep his money????

in a snow bank of course

 

[Bunnykiller]

either Im the best parent in the world or the worst.... I never had any kids ( that I know of) sooo... no kids means no parental skills therefore the worst parent or since I didnt have any I didnt allow my kids to have to endure the tortures of life making me a great parent... okay... now Im totally confooozed...

 

[Bronze]

either Im the best parent in the world or the worst.... I never had any kids ( that I know of) sooo... no kids means no parental skills therefore the worst parent or since I didnt have any I didnt allow my kids to have to endure the tortures of life making me a great parent... okay... now Im totally confooozed...

You think you're confused. Just think how confused your kids would be.

 

[Bunnykiller]

many years ago, my dad almost married the woman next door... if that happened, my girlfriend would have been my "sister" ( the woman next door had a daughter I was dating)

 

[Hulamoon]

DNA test first. Worry about the other stuff if need be. What a dreadful woman!

Well.. I'm something, don't know what atm.

Several years ago my son had found a young divorcee that he decided he not only loved but wanted to marry. She lived in another state so he was away from her and out of state while they were planning their wedding.

Normally not a bad thing, he was working on buying a house and accepted a promotion at his job to make sure he could support her and her two small children, who he was planning on taking as his own.

Well, their relationship went south about 6 months prior to their wedding date. She had been upset that he wasn't "there for her" - even though he was doing his best going to visit on as many weekends as he could. At one point I thought she was acting crazy, jealous of even his time with me, and told my son he might be better served calling the wedding off. He wouldn't listen - he loved her.

Which was fine as it was his life to live. Well, one day she called him up and told him that she had been sleeping with someone else since he "wasn't there for her", and that she was now pregnant with some other guy's child.

Sigh. She tried to blame my son and guilt him into marrying her any way since if he "had been there she never would have slept with another guy" My son loved her so much he almost did go ahead and marry her... but then he finally decided to break it off with her.

He was absolutely crushed, to the extent that she is the reason he is still single - he doesn't want to trust like that again, he's been afraid to.

So, fast forward to now. They still have friends in common and now that my son is back in Ohio she knows it - and called him up at her current husband's behest.

Her and her current husband are about to move out of state, and before they go they want him to know that her now 8 year old daughter "might be" my son's child. Lol...

Now, she was so sure the child wasn't my son's back when she first found out she was pregnant that she ruined her own wedding, that she wanted or she wouldn't have told him she cheated in the first place and then tried making into his fault that he should forgive her for, she just would have told him it was his at the time.

But now, almost 9 years later, she told her husband that the girl might be my sons and the new husband thinks my son should know so they told him hey, you might have a kid.

My son is asking for DNA testing to be done at his expense - and told me what's going on last night.

I'm a little upset, we both are. First, if it is my grandchild not to be in this child's life for my son is a crime. Second, no way I want this crazy women raising my grandchild, my son feels the same... she's nuts, and she might actually have my grandchild. That's a horrific thought.

My husband is coming at this from a, this might be all a ruse of some kind - meaning, they may just be trying to play my son for a fool and get money from him. Either that or she lied to her new husband about who the father of the girl might be not wanting to tell him she couldn't keep her legs closed when she was previously engaged.

I've seen a picture, and the girl looks nothing like us, so it could be.

So now, we wait and see if we can't get a DNA test done, and I'm just holding my breath.

If she is my sons, then we have to figure out 8 years of her not knowing who her family is. That's a daunting thought...

I know this probably makes me look like a bad parent, my son having sex out of wedlock, and God knows this story is a poster advertisement for why we should never do this... but it is what it is and I'm just worried.

I would rather this be some kind of a ruse to get money from my son or all just a lie than it to be true. I've got a lot against a child being raised not knowing who their family is... and this takes the cake.