Okay, as promised... let the multi-quote begin:
I admire your strength and attitude.
Fortunately, I have not (yet) had to deal with the health issues others here have. Not for myself or my husband and son. You are all an inspiration in hope, strength and endurance. And Kaz, your bride is so young to have to go
through this. I lost my mother and several friends to cancer. Some very young. It is an insidious disease with no compassion. I am not really a prayer person,. I was raised in the Christian church but don't find my savior within walls. I DO believe in a higher power, a "God" so to speak. I do NOT! mean to demean anyone who goes to church regularly. I actually envy your belief. Religion is a very personal, powerful state. I hold you all in my own prayers, in my own way, and I send all the strength, hope and compassion possible.
I liked these posts more so I know I have read every one, not that I "like" what is being said. Every one of you means so much to me, and I learn and feel as you share. You are all an inspiration to me.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
I appreciate the admiration, though I feel that I am completely unworthy of such praise. I think that I am just doing what anyone in my position would do.
I pray with all of my heart that you never have to face the trials and tribulations of such an insidious disease yourself or with your husband or son. But having faced it with your mother and several friends is no small measure either. I, too, was raised in the Christian church; I haven't attended a church in many, many years now. I dabbled in and studied many other religions in my younger days as I searched for what "religion" and "spirituality" meant to me. Today, I still cannot claim a single, particular faith, sect, or persuasion... though I do identify mostly as Christian. I believe in God; I believe that He watches over us. I also believe that He only helps those who help themselves. Many of my beliefs are a compound amalgamation of many different faiths. It works for me. That being said, your prayers; in your words; in your way are as welcomed and appreciated as all others. Thank you!
{{{{{HUGS Back Atcha}}}}}
Ongoing hugs, prayers and strength are on the way, Kaz. It is a terribly hard road that you are both on. All you can really do is hold fast to each other, your faith & family & friends. We are always here for you.
Thank you so much, Miss! It is a difficult road, but a necessary one at this time. We will hold tight to one another and pray/laugh/cry
through it all. For me, there is no other way. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said "When you're going
through hell, keep on going...". That pretty much sums up how I try to handle things. Sure, mistakes will be made along the way, but adapt and push on. Sooner or later you'll reach the other side.
Thank you, Matt. Appreciated more than I can express!
{{{{{Kaezziel}}}}} My heart is so heavy for you both. This is so hard. You can only go with your Bride's wishes and support her as much as you can. Just be sure they are real, rational wishes and not coming from depression. She needs to understand all her options, but then when she makes a decision, love her enough to respect it and be supportive. It's the kindest, most loving thing you can do for her. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
{{{{{{Janet}}}}}} Thank you so very much. I'll make sure that we ask the doctor ALL of the questions. I have a notebook that I take with us to appointments and I have quite a few questions written down to discuss with him. We will have answers to all of them and get him to lay out all of the options before any decisions are made. My Bride is very intelligent and understands the medical jargon even more than I do... she's been dealing with it throughout her entire life. So I'm sure that whatever decision she makes will absolutely be the best one for her. I've made it perfectly clear to her that she should not base any of her decisions on how she thinks they might make me feel. This is about her, and I will stand beside her no matter what. You and your family continue to be in my prayers as well.
ok...I didn't at all get the reference
Who's "us"?
Are you twins?
Do you mean you? Yes i like you...any man who treats his bride as well as you do is topnotch in my book!
And, I'm glad that your stressful weekend has passed. You DO deserve kudos, as does Iffy.
Sorry... that was in reference to your post saying "I like men"... I responded with "What about men who still think that they are boys?"... then Iffy asked "Yeah, what about us..." LOL guess my timing just sucked....
That being said, thank you, darlin'! I like you a lot, too! Though I prolly deserve to be whacked wif a fryin' pan more than I deserve any kudos...
Oh my, I so honor your dedication to your Bride and my sincere prayer and wish is that you may both be at peace with whatever decision is made.
Thank you so much! I think that we have already reached some level of peace. None of us know what the future holds or how long we may have on this Earth, but she has already told me that when that time comes, she is ready. She has made her peace; she is steadfast in her faith. She knows that when that time comes, she will be going home and she will wait for me there. I only hope that I may be so graceful...
Oh my , Kaezziel.... My heart is aching for the both of you. While I understand where she's coming from....I watched my Mom die of cancer years ago.... I also understand your pain. If it helps at all, keep sharing your pain and sorrow with us. And believe me when i say that you are a special husband
Mine aches too, hun, thank you. And I hate that you had to endure watching your Mom pass in such a manner. It is truly one of the hardest thing to which I have ever had to bear witness. But the way my Bride is handling it inspires me and makes me want to be the best that I can be for her. I owe it to her to be everything she needs because she has truly made me the man that I am today. I will continue to share this journey with y'all for as long as you'll have me here.
Being there for and with her is the best you can do, Kaez. Helping her to be sure she information on has ALL the options available, and supporting her decision.
Thoughts and prayers for you both, that you reach whatever decision you deem best.
Much appreciated, David. I'll continue to do the best for her that I can. Her doctor has been very good about explaining everything to us and answering all of our questions. He said that he actually looks forward to our visits because he doesn't get very many patients who come in with notes on what questions to ask. We both do our own research and then put together a list of what we need to discuss with him. Whatever decision she makes, I am sure it will be the right one for her.
Please just take your time, you need to process so much that's happening, within your own mind and heart. We'll be here for you, whatever you need/want from us.
I am. I actually thought about that post for several days before I posted it yesterday.
((((((((Kaezz))))))))) I know how difficult this is. Went through the same with my dad. After one 3 wk series of radiation, he chose not to continue with anymore treatment. It's so horrible to watch those you love suffer, but at least they aren't jerked away suddenly, and you have time to say/do what you need to. Love, hugs and prayers to your and your bride!
{{{{{{Deb}}}}}} Thank you, darlin'. Ugh, I know what you mean. Radiation was every bit as hard as the chemo was. Her radiation regimen was 5 days a week for 6 weeks. I couldn't have handled it, myself. Love and hugs to you for having had to watch that, and my deepest sympathy. It is terrible to watch them suffer, but you're right. I am grateful for the fact that I have the time left with her that I do. And we absolutely are trying to make the most of it as best we can!
Kaez, neither do I! And thank you so much for sharing. Words may escape me, but not the flood of emotions...
Peace!!!
Trust me, I know the feeling. I share, and will continue to do so, because not only could I use the support that you all so freely give, but also because I hope that in some small way I can help others with our story. I do not, and cannot, know how it may be of help to someone, but I do still hope that it will.
Kaez, be strong, i know how it feels to have a short time but not know how short, having a strong partner makes all the difference.
Thank you, Russell. I am trying. I only hope that I can be enough for her and that I don't screw up too much...
Dang Kaezziel, it breaks my heart to hear what you and your bride are going through. I went through the same thing with my wife about 5 years ago. We spent about 6 months trying the chemo and all sorts of different procedures. We live in Oklahoma City and made numerous trips down to MD Anderson in Houston and Texas Oncology for second and third opinions. Then spent the next 5 or so months making good memories and keeping her comfortable. I will keep you and your wife in my prayers.
Diver, I am so very sorry to hear about your struggles with your wife. You have my deepest sympathy and heartfelt prayers, sir. We are going to MD Anderson, ourselves. We have been since her diagnosis. I firmly believe that they are giving her the absolute best care possible. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for your prayers. I truly just don't have the words to express the feelings that your post have brought up, and I apologize for that. I've been thinking and rewriting this part of the post for the past half hour and I just can't figure out what else to say... so, I hope it is enough for me to say "Thank you, and you are in my prayers as well." can be enough...
My dearest Daniel, your post about the weekend had me worried that things were on a downward trend. I am so sorry. We ride this roller coaster, hearts beating wildly, trying to be optimistic, trying to remember that life is about learning to dance in the rain. But sometimes the rains come fast and furious. And sometimes we go all pragmatic, logic and knowledge at the fore, too tired even for the dance. I hate that you and your beloved are facing this choice. Every fiber of my being recoils at the thought. Yet, I love that the love you share is abiding: sure and certain in the knowledge that whatever is before you both will be handled with all the grace and dignity and love in the world.
Let me also say this: bravery is highly overrated. Kentucky small batch bourbon is not.
Know that we are here. Know that we are praying. Know that you are loved more than ear can hear and tongue can tell.
Darling, darling Birdie, again I am struck speechless. The weekend was a bit rough, but we endured. The future is still uncertain, but we will face it with honor and courage. The rains will come and tears will flow, but the sun shall return and flowers will grow. No matter what hard times we may face during our brief visits to this realm of existence, those hard times will pass. The best we can hope for is to live our lives amongst the roses as we endure the occasional thorn. My darling wife seemed to be in a better place last night as well, she appears to be more hopeful and has decided to wait to hear the results of the scans before making any decisions on whether or not to continue the treatment protocols. She even had the energy to cook supper last night! We had manicotti, and it was delicious!
And I have to agree: there is not much better than a smooth Kentucky small batch bourbon.
I know, Dearest. I know. And believe me when I say that I appreciate you all with every fiber of my being.
I will keep you and your bride in my prayers. I lost a spouse to cancer also, only in our case, I was the one who asked him to stop the chemo. It wasn't because I didn't want him with me. It was because I couldn't bear to see him suffering so much. The chemo made him deathly ill, and in his case the prognosis was terminal anyway. The chemo was just to prolong his life, but at what cost?!! He was dog sick and miserable. He told me that he felt like he would be letting me down if he stopped the chemo, and I told him that I couldn't be so selfish to see him so sick just for a few more months of life. So, I have an idea of where your bride is coming from. My heart hurts for you both!!
{{{{{{Roto}}}}}}
Thank you so much, and I extend my deepest sympathies and heartfelt prayers to you as well. I so completely understand how you must have felt. Watching how sick the treatment makes her is the hardest thing I've ever had to watch. And I don't consider it a good thing that everyone who works at our local CVS knows me by name because I'm in there so often to refill her anti-nausea and pain meds.
The doctor has told us that they will never be able to "cure" her, they are just hoping to buy her as much time as they can by "controlling" the tumors. They have not given us a timeline on how long they think she has, because she has specifically asked that they do not. I fear that I may have to pull the doctor aside and ask for myself... just to protect my own sanity. I don't want to ask her to stop because I want to respect her wishes, whatever they may be, but I don't want to be selfish either. I keep hoping for an opportunity to broach the subject with her on that level, but I don't want to just bring it up out of the blue. I'm hoping that Friday's appointment will give us the opportunity to get everything out there... we shall see. Thank you for sharing your story here. It has been very helpful for me to hear about what others in similar situations have experienced. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
We're here Kaezziel, anytime you need us.
What a beautiful sentiment in that image, Kim. Thank you so very much. I appreciate y'all letting me get things off of my chest and helping me to work through this. More than I can say.
Birdie, sheer poetry!
I have so few words for people who are going through such situations. The pain is the same as I have experienced, but the situations are immensely different, and inappropriate for this board. I have two others where I can let it loose. I often cope by going into automaton mode, but that doesn't mean on a deeper level that I don't feel. Drinking is not an option, due to past alcohol abuse, and that even after one drink, the next day my BP gets dangerously high.
My son is in a psych unit, and will need structured environments for a long time. I don't need to explain the details, but I ask for your prayers. He is an Aspie with a substance abuse problem, who has been torn to pieces with conflicted social environments. He has apparently been trying AA, but that may not be the right way for him. He is 500 miles away, and, as you know, telephone is difficult for me.
I am thankful he is in a large metro area, where there are resources to help him with such a unusual combination of problems, but my feelings of helplessness sometimes overwhelm me. I would love to be able to cry, but even that has been taken away from me.
Oh, Hunny... my heart goes out to you. Sincerely, you are in my thoughts and prayers. The situations may well be different, but no less traumatic. I cannot imagine how difficult that must be for you, and I simply do not have the words to convey the heartache that I feel for your situation. If ever you need an outlet, I am here in any way that you need. In either case, you and your son shall remain on my daily prayer list forevermore.
{{{{{{3mg}}}}}}
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I am still blown away by the outpouring of love and support that I have found in these pages. I must say that I am much better today than I was yesterday... it feels as though a weight has been lifted and the day is a bit brighter. I'll go into the next few days with a renewed sense of hope and will carry on to the best of my abilities. I thank you all. I love you all. I pray that each and every one of you has a bright and beautiful day ahead of you!
