First, let me say it is quite gratifying to read your comments and support .. let me pause for a moment and wipe something out of my eye that accidentally strayed in there ..
Like I've said many times in the past, I really don't have many left that I can lean on, and at the same time, being a self made man and always always priding myself on standing on my own two feet, it's tough to not feel like a whiner when I slip into the dark .. (as opposed to a winer, which can and does tend to be temporarily uplifting ..

) .. at any rate, I did feel somewhat better last night after backing the dump truck up and unloading some ..
As I traveled the road for the last 10 days or so, re-visiting as I do every year the old haunts in the South, I had allowed myself to be convinced by an ex to attend the wedding of her daughter .. Tasha .. when we were married, Tasha was my ex'es child from a previous marriage, it was 20 years ago and at the time, her and I were pretty close .. of course, as with many things along those lines, separation and divorce cause people to want to bury the past and move on, so I had had little to any contact until the wedding ..
At any rate, Tasha had blossomed into her own woman, found a good man .. and welcomed me with open arms and a genuine gratitude that I had decided to attend .. yet, I could not help but feel a disconnect, amid a large group of mostly strangers .. and realizing that I would never see the day when my own child would wed ..
That, in and of itself brought on my general malaise and ultimately resulted in last nights mind dump .. since, my family here was, sadly, all I had to rely on .. and come thru you did, like you always do ..
We, together, have experienced joy, pain, sadness, loss, humor, disagreement, camaraderie, support in times of need and more .. so once again, I cannot say enough, I'm always grateful for Fate somehow bringing us to this place .. and if I can play a small role in what we are here, it's very, very gratifying .. thanks ..