You lot are hilarious.
Just make a deal with your partner. Give each of you a budget to spend however each of you want and then don't question the choices. He/she can
buy blue socks or anything and you can use yours for
vape gear.
In our household hubby is a vaper and I
buy all the gear but he also works with wood and he can spend as much as he likes on woodworking machines, clamps saws, drills. I think I am in front.
Me and wife have similar arrangement. I get a stipend from reimbursements for mileage in attending medical visits. This is my 'allowance' which I may spend within reason as I choose. She gets to have a similar stipend that is a small percentage of her paycheck working at a local outlet of a large thrift store chain. Often I hear "Warning, shart," and need to watch as she pulls several shirts from a shopping bag. We get too much clothing at times and she has to re-donate some.
Eventually, I will be doing the homesteading bit, wood working, gardening, raising livestock, firewood, plumbing, 'lectric, and so on. I also do laundry, dishes, general cleaning, can sew by hand a bit. I also write a bit and piddle with computer stuff a little. Want to get back to hunting, trapping, fishing.

It's all good though I like helping my Lady. Difficult seeing a clear way to get back 'out of the home' to work for a lot of differing reasons. Not that I don't necessarily do not want to, I do want to, just not seeing it happen.
Besides, I can get some money if needed by doing stuff that provides food, help to others. I won't touch the money though, folks can pass that to my wife. I'm looked after fine enough.
