I want all that time I spent killing myself with cigarettes back just like all the time I spent waiting on dot matrix printers to complete a batch.
I once almost ended up in a police cell due to a dot-matrix printer. I was a systems engineer for a tech startup in a rather insalubrious part of town. By day, it was all business people, but at night time the character of the place changed completely. This was demonstrated late one night when walking past the local pub, a barstool came through the window and missed me by inches. Which was most disconcerting, as it was our local lunchtime watering hole.
I was the only occupant left in a multi-occupancy, open plan office. We were on the top floor, so everybody had departed for the evening, and the burglar alarm had not been set as my presence would have set off the motion detectors. Having finished the evenings print job, I set the alarm, locked up, and left about 10:30PM as usual. Didn't see or hear anything untoward, but with the noise the 24 pin 132 column line printer made (even in an acoustic hood), you could have set the fire alarm off and I doubt I would have heard it. Hence my frequent late nights.
The next morning when I turned up for work I faced some awkward questions as to how the petty cash and a few other items was missing from the downstairs office, without any sign of forced entry. The local lowlife had slipped the Yale lock on street door as the last person out had failed to lock it, grabbed what they could and quietly shut the door behind them.
Thankfully, I was believed.