Ugh too much reading. I'm home and I am sitting. I made it to 1:30 (after sending my letter) and then Head Doc showed up for some meeting and said, "Hi, Anna" and carried on. He looked.... The dude is bald and has features like an eagle. I thought he was out of town on some like, holiday or something.
I have reached the self-loathing stage. I know the husband is ...... off about it. But, l he's also not living it either. I was at the other site and it was exactly as I imagined. Bring, babies every once in a while. I like kids, not babies. At least I got some old notes done.
But I'm pretty sure something horrible (not sure what) is going to happen to me. It's going to SUCK is what it is going to do, be it demotion, a good old ride out on a rail firing, l don't KNOW what. I have been
through these things before. I have been fire so hard, security had to accompany me to remove those things.
But this is a job I LOVE. Every single part of it besides the risk factor of my sociopath. When I said I wanted to retire there, I MEANT it.
So being rode out on a rail (even if I get compensatory money later, whatever) is not something I am really gonna cope with that well.
So I can't help hating myself, and I don't know what else to do. The letter was not mean. It was factual.
I still just have a
sense I am on a kind of slow and coasty ride to like be rode out on a rail.
You know when you love a job I bet that hurts a lot. And, I will say, I am not looking forward to it.
Oh well... Made it
through another day. I guess.
Anna