Yea well she was trying to show me where her guilt came from and that it wasn’t because of me breaking up with her. But I probably wish I didn’t know. I certainly understand addiction and know it’s not a choice you make when you are stuck in active addiction. But when you’ve detoxed and been sober for a while and drink then yea it’s a choice for sure because at that time you have a choice .
We were both in early recovery I was a OxyContin Addict at 17 and then became a heron addict for many years. Then when I was dependent on heron, crystal and benzodiazepines while dabbling in shooting coke/ smoking crack things got real bad. I was homeless, in and out of jail and just living a life of hell.
I believe it’s a disease but also believe it’s a lot to do with choices. She wouldn’t look at alcohol so much as the thing causing her problems to her it was being a victim of alcoholism and would even say I can’t help it it’s a disease! That pisses me off because that poor me victim mindset is just a excuse to totally disregard personal responsibility.
Believing life isn't worth living, giving up when hope dies inside, and loosing the desire to change and start over in life. Reaching that point can open our eyes, but only if we're looking. I'm still not sure why some people recover, and other people let go of control and die.
There are a lot of things we use as excuses to justify our actions to ourselves and other people. A reasonable person can justify anything. The victim mentality pisses me off too.
It pisses me off because giving up personal choice and independence, in trade for comfort and security, is like willingly putting handcuffs on and selling yourself to slavery. The only one who benefits from that deal are the masters we create when we do this.
I'm glad you escaped from the cycle of self-abuse you were in. Keep on with what's working, you're doing good man.
P.S. Funny dog
