Older Folks and Vaping Back Porch - Part Three

[Iffy]

I just had to realize it's ok to say I hate that you are not happy, but your happiness, satisfaction & approval are not my responsibility.

Lesson hard learned! Took me until my late 20s with my Mom. Once I told her that she would never make me feel 'guilty' again, her 'attitude' change was remarkable.

 

[oldbroad]

Willie & Broad, I still live with the reason for the problems I've had with depression, panic attacks & other issues in my life. I was over 50 before I finally decided to stop being concerned about pleasing others, & carrying the burden of trying to find a way to "make" them happy, or satisfied, or approve of me. I finally understood that some people just get their satisfaction by making everyone around them miserable. I just had to realize it's ok to say I hate that you are not happy, but your happiness, satisfaction & approval are not my responsibility. That is your business, not mine. So go look in the mirror & blame the person you see there. Me? I'm going to go be happy doing & finally being what God made me to be & I don't require anyones permission to do that. I do care & want her to be happy but I'm through carrying her responsibility for herself. One of the things God made me was strong. So I've never had to deal with mental institutions, alchoholism, or drug addiction but I totally understand where that comes from. Yay YOU for overcoming every obstacle! Now, get out of your head & do something fun, interesting, & creative!

And a big YAY to you Kenna!!!! And i totally believe in your last sentence!

At least most of the time....hey, i'm improving, not perfect.....

yet

 

[Kenna]

All I know is I got bit by dogs 5 times in my first 6 years of carrying mail. Then I started carrying dog biscuits, didn't get bit one time in my last 15 years of carrying mail, and I made lots and lots of new friends who brightened each day.

Here is one of many stories: One of my customers had a huge rottweiler in the back yard, behind a very sturdy 6 foot high wire fence. The vertical supports for the fence were made of railroad ties.

Every day that dog would raise a huge ruckus when he saw me cross into his vision as I walked across a vacant lot toward the front porch of his house. He would throw himself against the fence over and over again, barking wildly the whole time. But I was in no danger thanks to the fence.

Until the day when he somehow succeeded in knocking the fence down. He came running straight for me at a speed which would have garnered points on his license. Standing in the middle of the vacant lot, I let out a manly but terrified scream of "nooooOOOO!" to no avail. He kept coming, seeming to pick up speed if that was even possible. I prepared for my demise.

10 feet away, the dog stopped on a dime, sat down, and grinned at me. You cannot convince me that dog didn't know EXACTLY what he was doing, and he was enjoying every moment of the terror he had caused me.

My baby bro, the guy who first told me about vaping, turns 50 today.

Bells, tell him HB & TY fromus! Withouts him you wouldn't be here (or at the HO with us! [emoji8]

 

[Kenna]

Happy Birthday to your baby brother!!!!


ohhhhhhh I haven't seen any bluebonnets yet this year and it's killing me. Haven't had any strawberry shortcake yet either, so it's not even officially spring yet for me in this 3rd week of July Both those things have to happen before I recognize that it's spring!

You blinked on the bluebonnets. [emoji15] Now you're are grounded till next spring! Strawberries, however, are everywhere! Girl, get your summer on!

 

[Kenna]

Today's chuckle:
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Thats not Iffy's cushion, is it?

 

[Uncle Willie]

Willie & Broad, I still live with the reason for the problems I've had with depression, panic attacks & other issues in my life. I was over 50 before I finally decided to stop being concerned about pleasing others, & carrying the burden of trying to find a way to "make" them happy, or satisfied, or approve of me. I finally understood that some people just get their satisfaction by making everyone around them miserable. I just had to realize it's ok to say I hate that you are not happy, but your happiness, satisfaction & approval are not my responsibility. That is your business, not mine. So go look in the mirror & blame the person you see there. Me? I'm going to go be happy doing & finally being what God made me to be & I don't require anyones permission to do that. I do care & want her to be happy but I'm through carrying her responsibility for herself. One of the things God made me was strong. So I've never had to deal with mental institutions, alchoholism, or drug addiction but I totally understand where that comes from. Yay YOU for overcoming every obstacle! Now, get out of your head & do something fun, interesting, & creative!

My state of mind, or lack there of .. was directly impacted in my youth by both Catholic School as well as a very, very hard Mother .. in fact, as much as it pains me to say this, I have said it before .. I do not recall my Mother ever telling me she loved me .. (no sympathy required, please, I came to grips with it a long, long time ago) .. then, when I did my tour in Vietnam, I was extensively schooled in both alcohol and drugs, returning to the World was difficult, adjusting back to Society was difficult and I had little to no support emotionally from my Family .. it was a volatile combination that caused me to spin out, turning to the needle, the bottle and whatever else I could find to reduce the pain .. although I worked my way thru, with the help of a good, strong woman and a very close friend, the shreds left from those days never fully left me ..

Thus, no matter my later success in life, no matter how many roads I've traveled, I remain haunted by those years, as well as other baggage that I tote .. it does not manifest itself daily, however, it runs in a cycle .. and I don't really know when the cycle will happen .. some here, I know, have experienced these dark days as I drift sometimes farther and farther into believing that it's just time to tie things off .. but with the help and understanding of many here that allow me my idiosyncrasies when the darkness comes, the help of a great Doctor and a handful of Vets I served with that I can at least call, I continue to make it thru to the other side ..

So, like I've said before, I appreciate the shoulders, the understanding and most of all, the stories of others that have had to come to grips, since those stories remind me I am not alone ..

Lastly, to those that have never experienced these type issues, be glad, but most of all, be understanding if you can ..

 

[Kenna]

Lesson hard learned! Took me until my late 20s with my Mom. Once I told her that she would never make me feel 'guilty' again, her 'attitude' change was remarkable.

I was in my 50's before I could get the words out & take a stand on it. It's easy to say "not your/my business/problem" now. And she knocks on my bedroom door, & waits for me to answer now. She spends a lot of time in the livingroom all by herself, which is sad, but works for me.

 

[Kenna]

Not tried to share as I said its just how I cope and probably not transferable to others.
Suffice to say perhaps an emotion your mind is having can be changed by you changing the perception.
Doesn't have to be real seeing as the emotion doesn't have to have to be proven. You can feel like its the end of the world in your mind without any proof just the feeling. So you can replace one feeling with another , sort of like when people have a panic attack and their told to focus on something and concentrate on their breathing , its too distract them from the feeling of dread.
Can be a time limit and not easy to maintain , also dependent on if you have an actual mental disorder or just feeling down.

I've leRned to just tell myself "this is a load of pure crap, & you know it, so get over it". Then I find something that occupies all if my attention. Like focusing on breathing when I have a panic attack.

 

[Kenna]

Deb threatened to buy me a coffee cup with an appropriate inscription. That caused me to take pictures of both sides of a coffee mug that a potter made for me about 15 years ago. Her craft shop was at the beginning of my mail route, and her dog was the first of many each day to get a biscuit from me.

Postal management frowns on/prohibits mail carriers giving treats to dogs. They kind of looked the other way for many years for the several of us who got in the habit of making friends with the canines on our routes.View attachment 473472

View attachment 473473

That is so sweet!

 

[Kenna]

It's so nice to be home. We swung by the pharmacy and dropped off prescriptions. Then, the first thing I did after sitting down on my nice new higher bed was to pull out my carto punching stuff and punch a fresh carto.

All I've been using for the last 11 days is a 650 mah Twist, a 650 mah non-VV eGo, one 510 atomizer, and a carto-tank that held the same old cartomizer in it the whole time. My daughter had also brought me a charger and some juice. So, now I know what it takes for next time, NOT.

This fresh new carto with my Tiramisu is yummy!

Everybody just left to pick up prescriptions, food for dinner, etc. So, it's peaceful and quiet, for a few minutes.

Home, sweet, home!

I'm so happy you are home & doing so well! I've been away so long & am hanging my head in shame that I had to hear about your situation in the HO. [emoji47] Was glad you didn't have an issue while you were getting moved, tho.

And you were vaping in the hospital? [emoji33] YOU ARE MY HERO! [emoji48] [emoji48] [emoji48]

Now if you can get your Rx you'll be good to go!

 

[MikeE3]

Diver, I know this is a really late reply on this post but I had to tell you how beautiful those are! I kind of have a thing for really good weighted & balanced writing instruments that don't make the ink skip, & great papers to write or draw on with good smooth flowing inks. Ok, it's more than just a thing. A pen with great heft & balance practically does the work for you & do so much to improve even terrible handwriting. Just a total joy just to hold. And the warmth of wood is sooo different from the harshness of plastic or metal. One of my surgeons carries a beautiful fountain pen crafted from a peachy pink Texas marble. I was surprised at the color, & to find he writes with nothing else. I mean this man wears all his scrubs tucked into a pair of custom made alligator boots made from a gator he killed himself. He hooked it, jumped in the water on it, yanked it's head back & shot it in the head. And he carries this fantastic pen that he found at the Texas Bluebonnet Festival. I've never seen a Dr have such beautiful hanwriting, & he'll tell you it's all the pen. It's all but impossible to find one with a thicker barrel, too. Cudos on your creativity, & excellent work!
Sorry for the long post, y'all!

A big YES for fountain pens! I used them all the time for years and years at work. Fine nibs, medium nibs, broad nibs - depending on my mood and what I was doing I'd use one or the other. My parents used fountain pens for all their 'serious' work like doing the filling out the financial ledger for the social club when the were the treasurer and secretary.

As a kid watching Dad filling in all the numbers I asked him what happens if you make a mistake. He said - 'you don't' make a mistake. I can still remember Dad taking me to center city Philadelphia and going to a combination jewelry / stationary store to pick out my first fountain pen. It was like a rite of passage, I was old enough to have my own.

I guess your doctor has better fountain pens then I had though, because the lettering that came out the end of mine sure could use improvement. My script writing always was 'not good' - so I printed all the time. Sometimes I'd just write nonsense or the alphabet over and over because it was fun writing w/ a fountain pen.

 

[Semiretired]

Their loss, as we'd all be willing to handle theirs!

Well said David... and so true...

 

[Semiretired]

ohhhhhhh I haven't seen any bluebonnets yet this year and it's killing me. Haven't had any strawberry shortcake yet either, so it's not even officially spring yet for me in this 3rd week of July Both those things have to happen before I recognize that it's spring!

Hate to inform you then dear - spring has already sprung and gone for this year... Now if you head to Wolf's area - it is just around the corner since he is having winter right now...

 

[Diver9543]

Diver, I know this is a really late reply on this post but I had to tell you how beautiful those are! I kind of have a thing for really good weighted & balanced writing instruments that don't make the ink skip, & great papers to write or draw on with good smooth flowing inks. Ok, it's more than just a thing. A pen with great heft & balance practically does the work for you & do so much to improve even terrible handwriting. Just a total joy just to hold. And the warmth of wood is sooo different from the harshness of plastic or metal. One of my surgeons carries a beautiful fountain pen crafted from a peachy pink Texas marble. I was surprised at the color, & to find he writes with nothing else. I mean this man wears all his scrubs tucked into a pair of custom made alligator boots made from a gator he killed himself. He hooked it, jumped in the water on it, yanked it's head back & shot it in the head. And he carries this fantastic pen that he found at the Texas Bluebonnet Festival. I've never seen a Dr have such beautiful hanwriting, & he'll tell you it's all the pen. It's all but impossible to find one with a thicker barrel, too. Cudos on your creativity, & excellent work!
Sorry for the long post, y'all!

Thank you, Kenna, my Brother in Law and Sister visited after I had a heart attack where they inserted a stent. While here he was doing some sketching and his pen ran out of ink. My sister was engrossed in a book so I excused myself and went to my workshop. I returned a while later and handed Frank a pen I had made with Zebrawood. That pen has turned into his favorite for sketching. They now live in Canada and my sister called me in a panic. His pen ran out of ink and they didn't know what to do. I had to laugh and admit that it is a Parker ink refill. Here my Bro in Law thought I had a secret supply of amazing pen refills and to know they are Parker's set him off laughing. He can now buy his own refills at the local art store.

 

[Kenna]

Thank you, Kenna, my Brother in Law and Sister visited after I had a heart attack where they inserted a stent. While here he was doing some sketching and his pen ran out of ink. My sister was engrossed in a book so I excused myself and went to my workshop. I returned a while later and handed Frank a pen I had made with Zebrawood. That pen has turned into his favorite for sketching. They now live in Canada and my sister called me in a panic. His pen ran out of ink and they didn't know what to do. I had to laugh and admit that it is a Parker ink refill. Here my Bro in Law thought I had a secret supply of amazing pen refills and to know they are Parker's set him off laughing. He can now buy his own refills at the local art store.

Parker's are excellent fountain pens. There are some very elegant & expensive one's, too. They've been around for over a century, & their ink is great, too.

 

[Diver9543]

Parker's are excellent fountain pens. There are some very elegant & expensive one's, too. They've been around for over a century, & their ink is great, too.

The pens I make are not fountain pens. They are ballpoint pens. There are fountain pen kits available, however, I have never been able to write that well with them. So I make the ballpoint pens and just enjoy the feel. I'm like Mike, I print more than write cursive just so others can read my writing. Who am I kidding, I print so I can read my own writing when trying to read the grocery list.

 

[Uncle Willie]

I am also a card carrying member of the Fountain Pen Club (FPC) .. I use a broad nib Schaeffer that I've had since as long as I can remember .. hell, I'd probably use a quill since back in the Revolutionary War days, that's what I trained on .. ..

There is nothing that will focus your writing better than a fountain pen .. and the longer you own one and get used to how the nib reacts, the better the pen becomes, IMO .. in a World chock full of Tech, the lowly fountain pen harkens back to a bygone era, when folks actually wrote ..

 

[Semiretired]

when folks actually wrote ..

Sadly that is the key...

 

[MikeE3]

I am also a card carrying member of the Fountain Pen Club (FPC) .. I use a broad nib Schaeffer that I've had since as long as I can remember .. hell, I'd probably use a quill since back in the Revolutionary War days, that's what I trained on .. ..

There is nothing that will focus your writing better than a fountain pen .. and the longer you own one and get used to how the nib reacts, the better the pen becomes, IMO .. in a World chock full of Tech, the lowly fountain pen harkens back to a bygone era, when folks actually wrote ..

He, he ... I still have my Mom and Dad's Parker fountain pens and the one my Dad bought me. It was a state of the art pen back then - a Scheafer snorkel fountain pen. There was a tube the extended from the nib when you turned the top of the pen. Pull back the end of the pen, Insert the tube into the ink bottle, then push the pen back together to draw ink into the bladder. Kept the nib tip from getting messy.

 

[Kenna]

The pens I make are not fountain pens. They are ballpoint pens. There are fountain pen kits available, however, I have never been able to write that well with them. So I make the ballpoint pens and just enjoy the feel. I'm like Mike, I print more than write cursive just so others can read my writing. Who am I kidding, I print so I can read my own writing when trying to read the grocery list.

Their ballpoints mech pencils are great, too. They work forever & the really good ones can be sent back to them for repair or restoration. The ballpoint ink is really good, too.