Wow! New Porch is cozy! Love the new cushions, too! And a little bit of Spring to share! The tree outside my patio is covered in white blooms, y'all!
Older Folks and Vaping Back Porch - Part Three
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I agree Rick, right now they just quietly throw away the stuff she brings, they don't want to hurt her feelings but don't want the junk either. My daughter thinks mother in law will only get worse when/if they get pregnant, she'll constantly be dragging stuff over to their house for the baby.
In most cases, it is best to let them do what they want to do. However, when it gets to be a health hazard, call the officials and ask them to do something about it. Same thing when you are concerned about bringing a baby into the mess-- just don't, no matter what they say. If you are living with someone like that, either move out, or assert yourself. There will be NO overflow into your personal space. Of course, same thing if they try to use spece in your house/apartment. Natural consequences. If they are shopping for garbage, ask for legal power over their spending habits. Wheedling and coaxing doesn't work. They can out-manipulate you-- after all, they are fearful of losing control, therefore they develop those skills.
All that aside, just about all I know about it is from watching the show.
All that aside, just about all I know about it is from watching the show.
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Mike, got a broken link on this one.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
The only thing I can think of is a family intervention if possible and yes maybe an episode of hoarders might help. Also there is a possibility that she knows what's going on but, can't bring herself to do anything about and if you start getting rid of it she might come around and help. Doubt it actually but, it sometimes works. Anything you do will need to be accompanied by intensive therapy by a professional. To quote Dear Abby, "if you can't get her to go there is value in going by yourself." The therapist can suggest courses of action to avoid any possibility of psychological damage. Just an interested amateurs advice, hope it helps. Just remember the Hipocratic Oath, which in part says "do no harm". Good advice, if you think it could hurt her don't do it.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
I just posted a post with some recommendations. Now, reading this last one I think you know all that. All I can really say is do what you think needs to be done and I and the rest of us porchers will be here to support you and provide emotional support if needed. Your part of a really cool group of folks now.Ya know... besides the 'gross' indicators of a hoarding problem - too much stuff everywhere, compulsive shopping issues... - I did not know until recently that there is a significant connection to memory deficit issues that goes along with hoarding behavior. Big problem with my friend here on that level. It's not that the memory problems are secondary to having so much stuff you can't remember where anything is, it's part of the overall brain function problems going on in a person who has a hoarding problem.
For anyone else affected by hoarding or dealing with someone with the problem this site is an excellent read with a lot of information you may not have known: The International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) - Hoarding Center Reading through the issues hoarders have with social interaction and "control" issues over the chaos of their stuff sure provided a lot of insight into the relationship dynamics going on here.
But there's that "big rock" just sitting there: talking to them about a problem they are in rigid denial even exists.
P.S. Not only an excess of packs of new, unopened plastic storage containers here, now saving every plastic deli or take-out container that comes in the house. I pull them out of the dishwasher and drawers and put them in the recycle bin. She takes them back out.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
Hey depends on whether it's good stuff or not. Doesn't sound like that's going to be the case. With baby clothes, used is fine. A baby doesn't wear anything long enough to wear it out. Just sort, through the stuff pick out the good stuff and take the rest back to goodwill as a donation. Hey free baby clothes and a tax deduction. Just kidding, trying to lighten us up a bit. That's probably not a good idea, might just encourage the behavior. Again read my previous post. Professional counseling can't hurt. Not just for mom, if she won't go, go without her.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
My wife would throw things away when her mother wasn't home. If it wasn't out of the house and buried in the trash where she couldn't see it she would just pick it out the trash and bring it back in. It had to be gone when she got home. My wife and her brother and sister have been putting up with this since they were little. It never got to the path through the crap stage though. You could actually go to her house and not really know anything was wrong until you looked below the surface.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
Maybe you should suggest a yard sale. Tell her she can start over 
stoner ramblings sry!
stoner ramblings sry!
There are support groups for helping someone that is a hoarder, but the hardest part is the fact in most cases unless they are causing harm - it has to be their decision to change. Much like when people decide to spring clean or do a major downsizing. Deciding what to go first is the hardest first step - a positive swing must be put to any effort towards change.
I think things are going to be so skewed that it's beyond a simple idea of hurting her feelings. In my situation the person I'm dealing with, as an aspect of the compulsive shopping part of the hoarding, insists on buying me clothes that I have no need of nor interest in. She actually gets very stressed from the fact that I am unwilling to participate, that I won't wear the stuff she buys. She actually has an occasional control freak meltdown over this, demanding to know why I don't wear the new (whatever) she bought.
What I'm getting at is trying to quietly avoid the issue most likely won't work. Don't give in and perform actions that placate or support the behavior, but that won't be a guarantee that there will be no emotional stress either. They may get harangued at every visit about why the baby isn't wearing the stuff she was compelled to purchase.
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Strange - I can see it in both my original post and in my quoted post within you reply. It was just one of these from a different link.
Thank heavens SOMEBODY is seeing evidence of Spring! It's gorgeous!
That could be a problem, especially if they have friends with new babies who will bring LOTS of stuff their kids are done with. They may really have to put their foot down on that even before the baby comes. Either that or open a new and used baby stuff store.
I agree with at least handling it firmly when it comes to your own space and overflow, but there's not a whole lot you can do. Neighbor friends of ours actually ended up in court trying to help an aunt. They tried to get guardianship due to incompetence since the aunt was obviously hoarding and living in filth. The judge told them no, and who were they to tell the aunt how to live. Next case. Geeze, it's not like she had any money or anything valuable so the judge couldn't have thought they were trying to take advantage of her. Within a year the ambulance took her away after she fell and it was determined that she was incompetent and was put in a home. I guess all you can do is try to get rid of stuff when the hoarder is not home or not looking.
You're right, and I guess you have to take a good look at if there really is any danger. With a true mental problem it's sometimes hard to get help except for yourself. All you can do is try to work around it. Don't have to like it. Support groups can be wonderful to help you cope and they may have some ideas to help direct the hoarder see what's going on.
Strange - I can see it in both my original post and in my quoted post within you reply. It was just one of these from a different link.
I can see it too.
Oh, there it is.Strange - I can see it in both my original post and in my quoted post within you reply. It was just one of these from a different link.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
I thought this was cute. I can see my fat boy saying this!
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
I thought this was cute. I can see my fat boy saying this!
Sent while sitting on my busted ..... Stay off the ice if you can't skate. I can't and didn't.
Our girls don't even try to go out anymore when we open the doors. These are our first "indoor" cats. I keep telling them how lucky they are not to be barn cats, but they just don't get it. I remember years ago, putting one of our kittens out in the snow on the deck for the first time. It was so funny. She had no idea what to do about all that while stuff. I know there are people who leave their dogs out in all kinds of winter weather and it hurts my heart knowing they're out there.
Hello, my name is Iffy, and Im an accumulator!
Im not a compulsive buyer, nor do I hoard worthless Goodwill treasures. BUT, my life has been a marvelous marathon of interests and/or projects that have kept my mind agile and knowledge challenged.
In no certain order, Ive delved into photography, automotives, audio equip, firearms, SW radios, smoking pipe collecting, early puters, old clocks, old keys, collection spoons, astronomy, survival gear, guitars and a bit more.
Many, if not most, of those Ive either grew bored with, or just couldnt continue. Quite a bit of my past acquisitions have been liquidated,,, thankfully. But I still have more than I wish to curse my progeny with after I have to look down upon em later on.
At this point in my existence, I dont want to burden my kids with shedding my periodical passions. Plus, as is all to common, too much history will be tossed or sold for a penny on the $100. Therefore, besides taking care of my bride, Im on a quest to shed my accumulation to those that would appreciate the items; like I did when I obtained em.
In fact next week, Im having two of my bestest guitar buds (FL & VA) visiting and will hand out a dozen guitars or so for them to find appreciative buyers.
Believe it or not, I lose more sleep over proper disposition of my guitars, firearms/parts/equipment and etc. than I do my health. Actually, I probably would have less stress once I properly shed most my stuff.
Few insights dealing with my accumulitis (note: not hoarding, no buying compulsions):
- the older ya get, da tougher it gets to handle liquiditation logistics
- fear of lost of historic value
- fear of not being able to let go when ya know ya should
- talk with your progeny prior to deathbed instructions
- wills do not cover what is closest to your unrevealed passions
Cant address compulsive hoarding, but hopefully my experience will aid those of yall that are facing da issue!
Oh, yeah, can't ferget da 12 step program: an aisle just wide 'nuff to walk up da drive to da garage door control panel...
ETA: Several posts since I started mine. If there are compulsive and irrational behaviors, please seek pro help of some nature! Check your local or state health services if need be.
Im not a compulsive buyer, nor do I hoard worthless Goodwill treasures. BUT, my life has been a marvelous marathon of interests and/or projects that have kept my mind agile and knowledge challenged.
In no certain order, Ive delved into photography, automotives, audio equip, firearms, SW radios, smoking pipe collecting, early puters, old clocks, old keys, collection spoons, astronomy, survival gear, guitars and a bit more.
Many, if not most, of those Ive either grew bored with, or just couldnt continue. Quite a bit of my past acquisitions have been liquidated,,, thankfully. But I still have more than I wish to curse my progeny with after I have to look down upon em later on.
At this point in my existence, I dont want to burden my kids with shedding my periodical passions. Plus, as is all to common, too much history will be tossed or sold for a penny on the $100. Therefore, besides taking care of my bride, Im on a quest to shed my accumulation to those that would appreciate the items; like I did when I obtained em.
In fact next week, Im having two of my bestest guitar buds (FL & VA) visiting and will hand out a dozen guitars or so for them to find appreciative buyers.
Believe it or not, I lose more sleep over proper disposition of my guitars, firearms/parts/equipment and etc. than I do my health. Actually, I probably would have less stress once I properly shed most my stuff.
Few insights dealing with my accumulitis (note: not hoarding, no buying compulsions):
- the older ya get, da tougher it gets to handle liquiditation logistics
- fear of lost of historic value
- fear of not being able to let go when ya know ya should
- talk with your progeny prior to deathbed instructions
- wills do not cover what is closest to your unrevealed passions
Cant address compulsive hoarding, but hopefully my experience will aid those of yall that are facing da issue!
Oh, yeah, can't ferget da 12 step program: an aisle just wide 'nuff to walk up da drive to da garage door control panel...
ETA: Several posts since I started mine. If there are compulsive and irrational behaviors, please seek pro help of some nature! Check your local or state health services if need be.
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hufff..... puff........ grunt...........wheeze
can someone help me git my recliner in here please.
can someone help me git my recliner in here please.
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