Nah. This is the email I actually sent. Because I read HEAD DOC'S and it was SO pukey I got mad. The husband helped. This is the best "F you and I can still remain professional email" I have ever created. To be fair the husband helped. He has done A LOT of contract work.
Dr. Head Doc and Evil Doc:
I was able to read your emails today. Thank you for your insights on provider conflict.
My mistake, Dr. Evil, started early on. I was told to sign a contract for Douglas prior to meeting the team as promised. I also received a great deal of negative feedback about you and your willingness to collaborate with IBH providers. My desire to make the position work led to a lack of firmness on my part that you would interact with myself and patients in an appropriate fashion. Instead of holding you to the same standards as other providers, I allowed to you to demand exemptions and to speak and interact with me inappropriately. I should have let you know those actions were unacceptable. I should have been more firm from the start. My goal is to do exactly that moving forward. Should you shout at me or make unreasonable demands, I will halt the interaction, leave, and decide whether I am able to discuss a resolution. If not, I will report events to our supervisors and HR. Should I be concerned about an IBH request you make, I will discuss it with you and an administrator on the spot. I understand my role at the PCE is not yet fully defined and we are still working through some issues.
However, my actions may have helped you believe you were entitled to special treatment or privileges. That was my mistake, and I should not have made it. I will not be making that error moving forward.
I feel the cycle enabled you to act out more frequently, rather than to focus on our mutual clients and their needs. It became a situation where you acted out in ways any other provider would be fired for. While I don’t apologize for your harassment, I do apologize for allowing it to continue. I will also not be enabling it from now on.
While I would like us to have an excellent working relationship, I also need you to know I will not tolerate any tantrums or threats, as it harms all of us at the PCE-- coworkers and patients.
Moving forward, it seems fair to have the schedulers place me with a similar number of patients daily as other providers. I will do my best to review your schedule in the morning and identify any other patients, as I do with other providers. I will discuss them with you.
While I am extremely reluctant to enter your work area because of past events, I do have to accept the olive branch you are extending as far as your acknowledgement that seeing IBH patients in-room is how IBH is designed to function. To refuse would be unfair—to patients, the other providers, and myself. I would like IBH to work smoothly and as it should.
Prior to doing so, I am willing to meet for lunch in the conference room. As I am on a partial schedule and recovering from an exacerbation of my medical condition caused by past events, I wish to wait to see your until I am working a full schedule and Dr. Head Douche returns to review our thoughts and make suggestions. I need to regain my strength and well-being first. I also want to note my goal will be fairness to you as a provider, and a mutual discussion of when IBH services fit best in both of our days due to your high patient volume.
Over lunch we can discuss making IBH work. I would be interested in learning more about you as a person and provider. I will say the day, I spent shadowing you was very helpful. Not only did I learn a lot from you, you also gave me a web-based resource which was very beneficial. That is the Dr. Rice I would like to continue getting to know.
I do see your work pace is high. When I worked for the Pascua Yaqui Tribe I had over 70 therapy patients and I understand the need for efficiency. My hope is we will collaborate effectively to reduce mutual concerns.
I believe you will come to know me as an IBH provider who treats you the same way as any other medical provider or coworker. I am sure as we come to realize that we have a mutual goal of service, our respect for each other will grow.
Sincerely,
Anna hates you both but very professionally.
I guarantee Head Doc will not be expecting that out of ME. He will be surprised.