Shinyitis Support Group

[ShowMeTwice]

Agree. Whether it’s handbags or anything else.

There are traits I look for in friends, like reading. I just find I run out of things to say to people who don’t read, and they focus - especially women - on gossip which I have zero time for. My sister keeps trying to set me up with this guy she knows. She thinks he’s fabulous. I’ve met him, he’s nice but I’m not interested. So finally I asked her to ask him who he likes to read. What’s on a person’s book shelf usually tells me anything I need to know about them.

I agree, whatever my wife wanted in life she got. Happy wife, happy life. She wasn't into many materialistic things, but yeah, I took damn good care of her. I took the vows seriously.

I love reading. I have four loaded bookcases and will soon need to get another. All kinds. I'm reading four books atm.

Gossip . I also have zero patience for the gossipy types.

So you have folks trying to set you up too? Me too, and it got really old fast. There is one lady down the block who is so overtly obvious it drives me nuts. Nice lady, but NO. I'm only a year and three months out and honestly I have no interest. The way I figure it is, I had the best and we had almost 40 years together. Actually several more if I count our younger years.
Delores, how far out are you?

Yes, the books people read and have can reveal much about them.
I love people WITH brains and who know HOW to use them.
Airheads and the clingy types, grrrrrrr.

 

[Rob B.]

Morning shinies

I love Ben - in the first pic he looks like a teddy bear

Oh, he's definitely a teddy bear alright

My wife Sue and Ben

Ben and I

My son Matthew and Ben napping

Just Ben

Favorite place is on top of one of the three couch's

 

[ShowMeTwice]

Good afternoon Folks

I hope you all have an awesome day.

Shiny mail delivered a Miboxer C4-12 battery charger today. This is the updated version which was very difficult to find. I bought mine from Aliexpress and they shipped it fast, 10 days China to me. It has very nice programmable features and can handle all the current Li-ion/LiFePO4/Ni-MH/Ni-Cd battery types (yes, 20700/21700 too). I am impressed. Another member has been recommending it for some time. I didn't really need another charger but I couldn't pass this up.

 

[stratus.vaping]

Absolutely...''a man is known by the books he reads''

Couldn't agree more.

Now to get back to reading " Five On A Treasure Island" before bed.

 

[stols001]

Oy. I don't get it. I have never really depended on others for my happiness (although I guess making my kid happy makes me happy.)

The husband knows he doesn't need to buy me stuff. If I want it enough I but it. He knows I LOVE fake flowers, because they are never going to die, no matter how "tacky the bouquet" is, I will love it. He knows I like it when he remembers to like, sign the card (believe it or not that was an issue for a while, LOL.)

I love the husband just as he is most of the time, I have given up on asking human beings to "be" a certain way, so unless he is actively hurting my feelings I'm good.

IDK. The husband takes care of some material things. When my last car died, he took me to the dealership and I was like "I can't afford this awesome base model Mazda 3" and he was like, "Of course we can." He paid it off early.

IDK whenever he tries to buy me stuff like computers, he's all fixated on like, when I was getting my first tiny computer he wanted me to get the one with Bluetooth because HE thinks Blue tooth is useful, and I was like, "No, I NEED a full size keyboard." It took my mom saying, "Husband, it is HER computer, she should get what SHE wants."

So, neither of us is all giddy about taking each other around and buying things and whatnot. I appreciate my husband for the things he does and takes CARE of. It's impressive, and I tell him all the time I am like that.

I'm not really a Material Girl, but if I want something, I will buy it for myself using my money. That probably won't change, ever, and if I was married to someone buying me jewelry all the time, I'd be like, "Um take it back."

The one thing that I might adore my husband to present me with is A TUMMY TUCK!!!! That would be so SWEET. Heh . This means the hour of yoga approaches.

Jezus. I know this week was stressful and I'm bloating up to menstruate, but like, I am staring to wonder MYSELF if I am pregnant. This has to be overfocusing on my part.

I still might not turn one down..... My next anniversary is NOT that far off. Heh.

I do get treated like a princess on some things, and like a damn SERF on others. I think this is fair.

However, life taught me long ago to NOT tie my happiness to ALL the actions of others, and if someone tried to fulfill my EVERY desire, I'd probably turn into Paris Hilton personality wise.

And who in their right mind wants that. Its's a freaking marriage not a MIND meld although I do often know the husbands thoughts, etc. BUT STILL.

Ain't no princess ova heah. I check my own tire pressure because it's smart. And I can.

Anna

 

[DeloresRose]

I agree, whatever my wife wanted in life she got. Happy wife, happy life. She wasn't into many materialistic things, but yeah, I took damn good care of her. I took the vows seriously.

I love reading. I have four loaded bookcases and will soon need to get another. All kinds. I'm reading four books atm.

Gossip . I also have zero patience for the gossipy types.

So you have folks trying to set you up too? Me too, and it got really old fast. There is one lady down the block who is so overtly obvious it drives me nuts. Nice lady, but NO. I'm only a year and three months out and honestly I have no interest. The way I figure it is, I had the best and we had almost 40 years together. Actually several more if I count our younger years.
Delores, how far out are you?

Yes, the books people read and have can reveal much about them.
I love people WITH brains and who know HOW to use them.
Airheads and the clingy types, grrrrrrr.

I’m 4.5 years out. Sounds like a long time, but it’s not, really. Anyone who hasn’t been through it seems to feel like you need a few months then you forget it ever happened. And they judge how well you’re ‘moving on’ by whether you find a new partner.

I felt it wouldn’t be fair to get involved with anyone until I felt pretty solid about my emotional state. Everyone I know who’s widowed and remarried met their new partners at grief counseling! Now if that works for them, fine. But to me that’s disgusting. Either you’re still such a wreck you need counseling, OR you’re ready to date again. I can’t see being both.

In my experience the biggest difference between being a man or woman who lost their spouse is this... the old guy next door, his wife died suddenly. Every woman in the neighborhood was buzzing around him. They brought food, cooked and cleaned. I mean there were several women over there every day after the funeral. Poor man.

It’s the opposite for women, at least over 40. We’re the plague. All the invites cease. All the visits and phone calls stop.

I think partly it’s easier to deal with grieving men. They don’t tend to talk about it much. It’s got to be hard to listen to me, I’m really open about it. I’m too honest maybe.

 

[Spydro]

Oh no not the dreaded tobacco regs. I haven't bought my provari yet

Not to worry, vape gear is still available on FleaBay.

Besides, lots of folks are willing to sell their junk vaping gear eventually.

 

[Zazie]

Absolutely! I’m reading Connelly ( detective) and have a ton of King, Gaimen, and indie books. I do like some biographies/autobiographies, zero vampire or romance.

Neal Stephenson?

 

[jfcooley]

Boo!

 

[DeloresRose]

Neal Stephenson?

You lost me

 

[Letitia]

Boo!

Hey there sweets, how ya doin'?

 

[stols001]

I think partly it’s easier to deal with grieving men. They don’t tend to talk about it much. It’s got to be hard to listen to me, I’m really open about it. I’m too honest maybe.

I talk to grieving people about their grief. I think more people should. Everyone's all like, "Let's get him a plant to show our appreciation!" Uh yea, dude, like That's going to do it. "Let me talk to my plant!" WHUT.

I marched right in to that doctor's office and said, "I have no idea how you are feeling and I can't imagine, but I'm here to listen if you want, or I can go away." He talked for like a half an hour.

Everyone assumes "they don't want to talk." That is such total bunk. I make it a practice to check back in every week or so, because everyone thinks you are stirring the problem or whatever but grief of a spouse takes FOREVER." If the person doesn't want to talk I tell them to say so.

95% of the time the person wants to talk, male or female, has been my experience. But I'm.. like that.

If my husband died, I would want to talk about it. Dude.

Anna

 

[jfcooley]

Hey there sweets, how ya doin'?

Better than most, not as good as others. Setting up a new computer so thought I'd drop by. Seem to still be going strong.

"How you doin?" (best joey impression)

 

[stols001]

Neil Stephenson wrote a series of books about a dude who was dying of leprosy in the real world being transported into a world where he could feel somehow he was also important because of his wedding ring.

I think that's right. I should google but that is what is coming up. They were great? The Thomas Chronicles?

Or he did that Standing in Snow book I forget. Gotta google now. Great. LOL.

Anna

 

[stols001]

Snow Crash. That's right.

Ana

 

[Eskie]

Neal Stephenson?

One of my favorites!

But I'm all over the place. From Stephenson to Daniel Silva to Dan Simmons to Joe Hill (Hill learned a lot from his dad).

 

[Letitia]

Better than most, not as good as others. Setting up a new computer so thought I'd drop by. Seem to still be going strong.

"How you doin?" (best joey impression)

All good here. Miss your stories. Good to see you Jay, I'm getting ready to head out the door.

 

[jfcooley]

All good here. Miss your stories. Good to see you Jay, I'm getting ready to head out the door.

Well have a good evening. You know me, will be lurking. Maybe I'll get the opportunity to throw a line or two here and there.

 

[Rob B.]

Oy. I don't get it. I have never really depended on others for my happiness.

Its's a freaking marriage not a MIND meld.

Ain't no princess ova heah. I check my own tire pressure because it's smart. And I can.

Anna

In my wife's and my marriage, it's a best friend relationship. We live to make each other happy. She's the love of my life, and the mother of my child. There is nothing I would not do for her happiness, safety, and well being. She is not a material person either and does not ask for anything from me materially. She is a lady, and does enjoy being treated as such. I have no problems with that, as I grew up in an age where men opened the door for ladies. BTW....Last time I checked, being a lady doesn't make you less than a man. It's an equal relationship that includes respect, courtesy, selflessness, admiration, and the freedom to be an individual. Yes, it's good and important to be able to be independent, but living with someone you know you can depend on, is just as important. My wife and I have had a lot of fun in the past 25 years, being part of each other, sharing our most intimate thoughts, raising the son she gave me, and being the most important part of each others lives. Out of all the men she could have chosen, she chose me.....and I will love her and treat her special till death do us part

 

[the wind]

Boo!

is that short for BooYah?